"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Broke up w/ gf for ridiculous reason, contemplating getting back together

fbplayer06

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I'm 20 years old and met a 17 year old girl who goes to my old high school. We talked online for a couple weeks and then met a few times in person, and she seemed quite mature/independent for her age. After a few "dates" we established that we were in a standard bf/gf relationship and had sex multiple times in between just hanging out, talking, and cuddling. So I thought we were solid, but apparently the smallest thing was going to set her off...

After nearly 3 weeks of us going out, I visited a guy-friend in the state over the weekend and even before I boarded the bus to ride to his place, she started texting me telling me how she was extremely worried that I'd mess around with other women (I told her my friend and I planned on drinking like alcoholics) while I was gone. I reassured her multiple times then and throughout the trip that I was loyal and wouldn't cheat on her despite being trashed the whole time. She has an ex-bf or two who drinked heavily (except it was almost every day instead of 0-1 time/month with me), but I've told her not to judge my character based on her past experiences with douche bags.

But anyway, finally I had enough of her ricidulous suspicions/accusations and left her a voicemail saying we were done. I still didn't touch another woman while I was gone, and we continued to bicker and argue and say hurtful things to each other until I came back home. But they were only words, not actions, which lets me keep hope that she and I can work it out.

She has a history of guys treating her like **** while they're drunk and cheating on her. She has overall trust issues due to traumatic experiences involving family and other guys since she can remember, but I still have feelings for her and know all she needs is a 2nd chance to realize I'm worth being trusted. Should I give her a 2nd chance, or should I admit that I misjudged her "maturity" and abandon the broken relationship entirely?

I'm not one to give up easily (call it a competitve attitude/ego...and maybe it's the fact that she was/is my first serious girlfriend), so I'm wondering if I should take her back when she inevitable comes to her sense and crawls back to me in a few days after she has time to think about how stupid it was for her to break it off for no reason besides unnecessary jealously and blind judgment based on her past.

Thanks for reading about my situation. I really appreciate any input.
 

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Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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WC2

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Why would you next a girl you're dating just because she's a little jealous?

Believe me brother, you'd rather have a jealous girlfriend than one who doesn't care. If your girl isn't jealous when you're around other women this early in your relationship, then she probably doesn't like you that much.

You acted rashly and told her you were done, even though you didn't really want that.

In effect, you gave her the power now. She doesn't have to and probably won't do anything to try to win you back. Nor should she.

Even worse, this bickering and "hurtful" arguing just brings the relationship down. A relationship can only take so much 'mud flinging'.

If you want to be back with this girl, I suggest you fix things quickly before things go haywire. If not, game on and start dating other chicks.
 

Metaphysical

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she is jealous because she has FEELINGS for you. that's where you want her.

i would never dump a woman because she is jealous, unless she started acting psycho, like stalking me or threatening me ..

man, you e'ffed it up.
 

Stéphane

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Move on, I really don't like the fact that you broke up with her with a VOICE MESSAGE.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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fbplayer06

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She refused to pick up her phone and actually talk (we texted instead) the whole weekend. I sent the voicemail Friday night.

So should I tell her I ****ed up and let her know that it's not all bad she's jealous (since it shows she has feelings for me), or did I **** up for good and letting her decide to come back would emasculate the hell out of me?
 

sodbuster

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I'd be more interested in the legal age for sex in your state. Is your doing a 17 year old going to bite you in the AZZ? We have a saying "15[yr old] will get you 20[years in the pen].

All women are jealous and will use previous life experiences to judge the current situation-we all do[do you grab the shiny red thing on the stove top? Or do you think it might be hot]. Learn to deal with it-to a degree,not to an excess.
 

WC2

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fbplayer06 said:
She refused to pick up her phone and actually talk (we texted instead) the whole weekend. I sent the voicemail Friday night.

So should I tell her I ****ed up and let her know that it's not all bad she's jealous (since it shows she has feelings for me), or did I **** up for good and letting her decide to come back would emasculate the hell out of me?
From here the only thing that matters is what makes you happy.

Do you want to sarge other women or would you like to keep this one? Are you ready to make a commitment to a 17 year old who is going off to college soon? Who is just reaching her party years? If you think you can withstand that stress, then be my guest jump back in.

Yes, I suggest apologizing. One thing that has stuck with me for a long time though is never telling a girl you're sorry. Once you drop the word 'sorry', her mind automatically shifts the blame to you.

The best way to recreate this relationship (if you really want to) is to admit that you overreacted and tell her that she may have overreacted a bit also when she was jealous; either way tell her that you love her.

If not, keep spinning plates.
 
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