"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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broke up on vacation

Powerofmindset

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A week ago my gf and some of her friends went to Vegas for a week. While at a club my girlfriend wanted to sit down so she asked a nearby group of guys to sit down in their vip area. 2 hours later she's still over there...now chatting up the group of guys with the other girl we were with. I got her away from the table and ended up telling her how disrespectful it was and how I didn't think she was that type of girl. She flips out and ends up breaking up with me that night. Tried to work things out the next morning but it was a no go so I changed my flight and left the vacation early. She said she had some stuff to give back to me along with a piece of clothing I left at the hotel. She said she wants to be friends but I told her I wasn't interested and told best wishes. I've been in NC since I left the vacation. Two questions...1. Should I wait for her to contact me to get my stuff back or what should I do? 2. Did I handle this well? Sry for the block of text...my phone is pretty old.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Tiguere

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my friend. ..she wanted to break up with you for a long time. she was just looking for the perfect way to be disrespectful so she can blame the whole break up on you.

if what you left behind its not important just text her and say

"you can throw away the belongings i left behind i dont need them"

then go radio silence and start the healing process.

your relationship was over before the trip. we as men sometimes turn a blind eye to the actions and behaviors women use to covertly communicate with us.
 

sexysuave

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Yes, as Tiguere said, if your belongings are just small things, just forget it. Stay the hell away from this chick.
 

DonGorgon

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Powerofmindset said:
A week ago my gf and some of her friends went to Vegas for a week. While at a club my girlfriend wanted to sit down so she asked a nearby group of guys to sit down in their vip area. 2 hours later she's still over there...now chatting up the group of guys with the other girl we were with. I got her away from the table and ended up telling her how disrespectful it was and how I didn't think she was that type of girl. She flips out and ends up breaking up with me that night. Tried to work things out the next morning but it was a no go so I changed my flight and left the vacation early. She said she had some stuff to give back to me along with a piece of clothing I left at the hotel. She said she wants to be friends but I told her I wasn't interested and told best wishes. I've been in NC since I left the vacation. Two questions...1. Should I wait for her to contact me to get my stuff back or what should I do? 2. Did I handle this well? Sry for the block of text...my phone is pretty old.

us GF is a ho that was using you.. and its good she is gone except the loss of pu$$y...lol dont bother with that bs stuff she wants to give you back that is only a way for her to twist the knife she have driven into you heart by dragging out a long cat and mouse process ..let it and her go.. move on now..

RULE: ALWAYS DUMP HER BEFORE SHE DUMPS YOU
 

Powerofmindset

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I do need that stuff back...so I will have to see her. Any ideas on how to go about this?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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sexysuave

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Send a buddy out there, preferably someone you trust who won't go over there and f*ck her if that crazy biat*h throws her self at him just to get revenge on you lol. Just tell her that "you're busy and your friend will pick your ish up"..
 

Iceberg

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Powerofmindset said:
I do need that stuff back...so I will have to see her. Any ideas on how to go about this?
If you NEED it back, then get someone to grab it for you, or go get it yourself. Smile, say "Hi." "Thanks." and "See ya." then leave. You're in total control over the situation, so there's no need to act like something can go terribly wrong.


And if you're only "getting your stuff" as a disguise for trying to re-build your relationship with the girl, then you're not fooling anyone.

Truth is, this girl wanted to break up with you. And not only did she do it publicly, she did it publicly on a vacation that you paid for. She's cold.

So, like I said...you're in control of the situation. You can easily go to her place and get your stuff without having it become anything else. It just depends on if you REALLY just want to get your stuff and leave. Because in reality, it's not that hard to say "Hey. Can I stop by for my stuff real fast?", get your things, and then leave her place. It's actually incredibly easy....if you want it to be.
 

Iceberg

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Mike32ct said:
I would have stayed in Vegas for the remainder of the trip and hooked up with another girl or two lol.

I know you want closure, so call her and set up a time to return her stuff. After that, you're done with her.

That's what it sounds like to me too. Otherwise, why would he be asking about how to get his stuff back?

"Hey (girl). I'm going to stop by for my stuff."

seems pretty easy.
 

Powerofmindset

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Maybe i need closure...i guess i just want the upper hand before i call it quits.

Me: Hey (girl). Is it cool i stop by to grab my stuff?
Her: I'm not home, so no? I can put it in the mail tomorrow if you like?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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women haze

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This b!tch is cold man......she cant even give you the time of day to get your stuff.

I wouldn't trust her mailing it...Go get your stuff tell her friend to get it to you then...Get your STUFF and be done with that cold hearted b1tch
 

pdx1138

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Powerofmindset said:
I guess i just want the upper hand before i call it quits.

I believe you do have the upper hand.

By not only walking away from her, but leaving early, you did that like a man.

You didn't wimp out and act like a chump and stick around. I imagine it took at least a bit of courage to do that.

I've done that too.

It's very possible she will want to hook up with you in the next few weeks or months.....don't do it....maintain your strength of frame you have.
 

Powerofmindset

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me: when will you be home?
her: tonight isn't a good night. tomorrow either. i'd say thursday at the earliest, if you insist on stopping over
me: yeah thursday is fine. talk to you then.

when i read that text msg i couldn't help but laugh. sounds almost as if the NC and standing my ground is getting to her.

i forgot to mention this as well...her friend who we were with text ms a couple times. One time when i was still in vegas asking if i was okay because i wasn't responding to my ex gf's texts. Another time when i was already home and he asks how i was doing again and at the end of the conversation says "well i hope you 2 can be friends" which i respond, "not interested." At the time it sounded like he is relaying information....still does.

Also what she has of mine is a piece of clothing which is brand new/never worn which cost me around $80. Bought it for Vegas too. She also has misc t-shirts of mine which when we just broke up she said she wanted to return to me. I told her idc about them and she insisted she drop them off or at least mail them back to me. Now i get that stupid text msg from her "if i insist on coming over." Dumb.
 

cordoncordon

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Here is the thing, no matter what you do right now, you aren't going to win with this girl. Not that you should want to win or even care, but you could save a puppy off the street and she will find something wrong with it. Been through this type of thing, and its a no win situation like I said.

I mean first, she breaks up with you WHILE in Vegas. Who does that? Vegas is supposed to be the funnest of the fun, not breakup city. She knew what she was doing. She went over to those guys and sat with them because she could give a flying F about you right now for whatever reason. Don't know why, but it is what it is. The thought of my present gf doing something like that is so alien, so off the damn wall that I would have to say it is damn near impossible. But we have a great relationship. Your gf thought yours sucked, and so she wanted out. And look how she has acted since. No trying to reconcile. Cold texts. Mean spirited to the extreme. These are not the actions of someone who has your best interests at heart.

You are going about this the right way. The ONLY way you win here (and by win I mean by keeping your self respect) is to keep doing what you are doing. Don't email. Don't text. Don't call. Don't beg. Don't plead. Don't yell. Don't cry. Just walk away with your head held high and don't say a nasty thing about her to anyone. She knows what she did was wrong. Now she wants you to justify her decision by acting like a d1ck. Don't do it.

Walk away. This is NOT the girl for you, and someday when you are with someone who is, you will look back at all this and laugh.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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garruk

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i dont mean to butt in while you've already gotten so many posts, but how long were you with this girl?

i'm thinking you might have slightly overreacted in regards to her sitting around with some guys. though, the fact taht she broke up with you over you expressing your feelings about the issue makes me agree with the rest of the posters that: yes, she was looking for an excuse to end it.

you cant really win here, because i think mentally she has already moved on long ago. you handled it very well by leaving early and going NC. as for your stuff, just get it and go.
 

DonGorgon

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like i said let it all go... but you cant cayuse you are mad and sad..lol due she won cause she has v a pu$$y you cant compete or win .. even ugly females have the upper had due to high demand for the,
 

Powerofmindset

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So today she text me (rather long text) saying she will be sending my stuff back in the mail because of all the **** talk i've said about her to other people. Which isn't true. Whether or not i should have defended myself i did up until a point where i could see what i was saying didn't matter. I think the no contact and me just trying to move on got to her. I'm not over this girl yet and it hurts to see this all going down with this he said she said ****.
 

DonGorgon

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Powerofmindset said:
So today she text me (rather long text) saying she will be sending my stuff back in the mail because of all the **** talk i've said about her to other people. Which isn't true. Whether or not i should have defended myself i did up until a point where i could see what i was saying didn't matter. I think the no contact and me just trying to move on got to her. I'm not over this girl yet and it hurts to see this all going down with this he said she said ****.
this is life it sucks then you die.. just try and have some fun also..
 
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Her: I will mail your stuff back
You: mail it back to me then, but be prepared to pay me what it's worth if my stuff mysteriously disappears in the mail. If this is a problem, I'll just drop by unannounced and pick it up. I'm not interested in seeing you, I just want my stuff back.

She's a *****, get over her.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

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