Broke off Contact, Girl Contacts Me, Tells Me I'm "different"

[Ice882]

Seems like a good progression, right? But she didn't seem too happy about it. She said she "missed her friend" because I've changed so much. Is this a bad sign? Or should I just ignore this and continue to sexualize, escalate, use social proof etc.?

I don't want to lose her from my life entirely.

 

[Joe Stud]

Her friend is gone. Her stud is ICE882. Keep doing what your doing, unless you want to be her "girlfriend". Be cool,indifferent, and mysterious.

 

[Ice882]

Thanks man. That's how I'll play it. Just needed some reassuring.

 

[DJ Miquelo]

yeah ice i agree with joe. Keep at what ur doing now!

 

[Igetit!]

Seems like a good progression, right? But she didn't seem too happy about it. She said she "missed her friend" because I've changed so much. Is this a bad sign?

Sorry to have to go against the tide here,but I disagree with the other posters on this. There's really not enough info to give a detalied answer.

I assume this girl is a friend of yours who you cut contact with,and not a girl you once dated,or some girl who you asked out,but gives you the run-a-round everytime you try to set up a date. If so,then it's already over with.

Going no contact can raise a girl's interest level...IF there was an intial interest there in the first place.

It's being a man that generates interest in a woman,not going no contact. All no contact does is helps to raise the interest that being a man created.


In other words,if you were friends with the girl,all going no contact did was make her miss you,not create attraction. She's still not interested in dating you. She just misses you because she hasn't see you in a while.


And another thing:She said she "misses her friend". She made a point of saying the word,"Friend". So if she misses her friend,that means that's the way you were to her before the "no contact" started.


Seems to me like you're trying to use the "no contact" tactic to get out of the friendzone.

Sorry dude. That won't fly. The friendzone is a one-way street with no exits to a dead end.

You can't get out. Maybe if you go 2 or 3 years of no contact,then when you return to her,she won't remember you,then you can game her correctly,but other than that,no dice kid.

Like I said,there's really not enough info here to give a clear,definate answer,so hopefully I'm wrong about it all.





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[Ice882]

Ok here's the whole deal:

I met this girl last year and she expressed some interest, as did I, but probably in a pretty AFC way. Nothing crazy bad but just not very good game either. I asked her out after about a week of knowing her, and she said no, but it was because she had actually just gotten into a relationship the day before with another guy.

So that didn't work out and I moved on. We did become friends, though, because we share a lot of the same interests, so we hung out a lot during the school year. She broke up with the other guy mid year, but at the time, I was gaming other girls so I didn't really pursue her much.

Then she got into another relationship with this other kid who's a joke late in the year and as of now idk if she's single or not, I haven't bothered to find out, I'm just going for it regardless. She's pretty hot and for some reason I've just developed an urge to fvck her...it wasn't there for almost the whole school year.

But anyway summer rolled around and we hung out once and then we both went off to do our own stuff (which for me was a lot of out of country experiences--partying in Spain is amazing). I didn't have any contact with her for about 3 months, and then she texted me to tell me she could come to my party (which is gonna be on the 5th of Sept.) and then went on FB and contacted me, which is when she told me I was "different".

Keep in mind: during the whole year, she showed signs of attraction to me. Lots of eye contact. Lots of hugs. General kino on her part. And when I wasn't a FVCKING PVSSY and actually went for Kino and sexual behavior she didn't object. I just pvssied out cuz I was so worried about how she'd react. But I'm different now, thank god.

Anyway, I'm trying to get into a sexual relationhip with her now, and I DON'T think I'm Friend-zoned. Its a situation that's hanging in the balance.

Keep in mind also that I'm in high school and that after summer, you get a clean slate and can totally reinvent yourself, at least in my opinion.

That's the full story. What now IGetIt?

 

[Igetit!]

I met this girl last year and she expressed some interest, as did I, but probably in a pretty AFC way. Nothing crazy bad but just not very good game either. I asked her out after about a week of knowing her, and she said no, but it was because she had actually just gotten into a relationship the day before with another guy.

So you've known this girl a year. That's one strike against you right there. There's no "in between" with a girl. You either dating her or not. And the more time that passes by, the stronger the "relationship" you have with her will become,whether that relationship is sexual or platonic.

Therefore,"whatever" it is you two have had over the past year,(and since it wasn't sexual,it's platonic by default),that's what you have with her now,and that's what she meant when she said,"I miss my friend".

So that didn't work out and I moved on. We did become friends, though, because we share a lot of the same interests, so we hung out a lot during the school year.

So you two became friends,and "hung out". Well...that settles it.

Friendzone baby.

You actually can't blame her for this afterall,according to you,you two became friends. Then you were separated from her for a period of time,in which you developed an attraction for her. You developed this "urge to fvck her" WHILE YOU TWO WERE APART. Then once contact had been reestablished,instead of acting and behaving like the friend she had become familiar with,you were behaving like a man who's sexually attracted to a woman. This girl was right,you did change. Hence,the "I miss my friend" remark.

She broke up with the other guy mid year, but at the time, I was gaming other girls so I didn't really pursue her much.

So you continued to be around her NOT PURSING HER OR SHOWING A SEXUAL INTEREST. Again,that's friendzone by default.

Then she got into another relationship with this other kid who's a joke late in the year and as of now idk if she's single or not, I haven't bothered to find out, I'm just going for it regardless. She's pretty hot and for some reason I've just developed an urge to fvck her...it wasn't there for almost the whole school year.

Well all you can do is show your interest in her and see if she reciprocates

Keep in mind: during the whole year, she showed signs of attraction to me. Lots of eye contact. Lots of hugs. General kino on her part. And when I wasn't a FVCKING PVSSY and actually went for Kino and sexual behavior she didn't object. I just pvssied out cuz I was so worried about how she'd react. But I'm different now, thank god.

Well i'm glad your different,but the problem is more than likely,this girl has already grown accustom to the "old" you,and developed the corresponding emotions that go along with the old you.

Now you're going to try to present yourself to her in a different light,but the feelings and emotions she developed for the "old" you are still there. You went off somewhere,changed,and now you're back,but you can't just expect the emotions she developed for the old you (which took time to develop) to just change the instant you start showing her your sexual side.

Anyway, I'm trying to get into a sexual relationhip with her now, and I DON'T think I'm Friend-zoned.

Well,I disagree with you here. If a girl I was interested in said to me,"I miss my friend",that'd be a punch to the gut for me. However,I'd like to be wrong here.

Its a situation that's hanging in the balance.

No,it's not. There's not such thing as "a situation hanging in the balance". Maybe to you there is,but the instant you reveal your interest to her,you'll find out WHICH SIDE she's on.

Keep in mind also that I'm in high school and that after summer, you get a clean slate and can totally reinvent yourself, at least in my opinion.

Man,I wish I had went to this school when I was a teenager.

That's the full story. What now IGetIt?

Well like I said,all you can do is reveal your interest by asking her out.

Of course if she's not interest in you the same way you are in her,it'll probably destroy the friendship.

If you'll willing to chance that,then have at it. But I'd make absolutley sure YOU KNOW SHEIS INTERESTED before asking her out.

 

[Ice882]

So you've known this girl a year. That's one strike against you right there. There's no "in between" with a girl. You either dating her or not. And the more time that passes by, the stronger the "relationship" you have with her will become,whether that relationship is sexual or platonic.

Therefore,"whatever" it is you two have had over the past year,(and since it wasn't sexual,it's platonic by default),that's what you have with her now,and that's what she meant when she said,"I miss my friend".

[/I]It wasn't totally platonic. There was lots of touching and sensual eye contact. We didn't do anything sexual but we did every intimate thing you can do right up to sexual contact. That seems a lot like middle ground to me, just saying.

So you two became friends,and "hung out". Well...that settles it.

Friendzone baby.

Again, its not like I treated her like a dude. There was always some boy-girl sexual tension when we were together.

You actually can't blame her for this afterall,according to you,you two became friends. Then you were separated from her for a period of time,in which you developed an attraction for her. You developed this "urge to fvck her" WHILE YOU TWO WERE APART. Then once contact had been reestablished,instead of acting and behaving like the friend she had become familiar with,you were behaving like a man who's sexually attracted to a woman. This girl was right,you did change. Hence,the "I miss my friend" remark.

We are yet to see each other in person since that one time early in the summer. She sent me a text that I didn't respond to, and she started an IM conversation in which she told me I was different. I don't know what that changes but that's what's happened so far.


So you continued to be around her NOT PURSING HER OR SHOWING A SEXUAL INTEREST. Again,that's friendzone by default.

Like I said, it wasn't cold fish to cold fish. I showed sexual interest with my actions, not my words. I probably should have made that clear from the beginning.

Well all you can do is show your interest in her and see if she reciprocates


Well i'm glad your different,but the problem is more than likely,this girl has already grown accustom to the "old" you,and developed the corresponding emotions that go along with the old you.

Now you're going to try to present yourself to her in a different light,but the feelings and emotions she developed for the "old" you are still there. You went off somewhere,changed,and now you're back,but you can't just expect the emotions she developed for the old you (which took time to develop) to just change the instant you start showing her your sexual side.

I have no illusions about the change being instant. I plan to build gradually.

Well,I disagree with you here. If a girl I was interested in said to me,"I miss my friend",that'd be a punch to the gut for me. However,I'd like to be wrong here.

I think she calls me her friend because there's no other word to use...we're not going out. Are you thinking she would've said, "I miss the old ****" or something instead? You might be right about the deliberate use of friend though.


No,it's not. There's not such thing as "a situation hanging in the balance". Maybe to you there is,but the instant you reveal your interest to her,you'll find out WHICH SIDE she's on.

Yes, I think once you present your interest totally, there are definite sides. But in a situation like this where I'm coming back a different person and there was past sexual tension and now I'm more sexual and more confident I think there will be a transition period as she gets used to the new me, and hopefully has a stronger attraction to the new me. Why do think this is not the case?

Man,I wish I had went to this school when I was a teenager.

Trust me, that's what my school is like. As long as you don't see the people over the summer, that's what its like.


Well like I said,all you can do is reveal your interest by asking her out.

Of course if she's not interest in you the same way you are in her,it'll probably destroy the friendship.

If you'll willing to chance that,then have at it. But I'd make absolutley sure YOU KNOW SHEIS INTERESTED before asking her out.[/QUOTE]

I certainly will make sure she's interested (as well as I can) before I do that. I totally respect your point of view by the way I'm just presenting my logic on the situation.

Thoughts?

 

[omega05]

man F all that. do what you wanna do. if you like her not seeing you as the "friend" you once were then stick with it.

 

[Joe Stud]

I stand by my advice. You dont need another friend, so what's there to lose? True, the odds are against a guy getting out of the friendzone. But it's not impossible.

 

[comic_relief]

I stand by my advice. You dont need another friend, so what's there to lose? True, the odds are against a guy getting out of the friendzone. But it's not impossible.

I hate when people on this site say that women can't be friends. Women are half of the world's population and we cut them off from being friends is much like cutting off your left arm just because it isn't used as much. It sounds just that stupid.

I've had no problem with having female friends because they introduce me to all of their female friends (except my ex-gf who refuses because I have hooked up with 2/3 of her female friends ).

But my advice is make a fvcken move and remove all doubt . Also, if she says no, respect her decision and move on. I've done that with this one girl and she rejected me because she was my ex's best friend and we are still extremely close (also turned a little psycho after wards so I dodged a bullet).

- comic_relief

 

[Ice882]

Yeah I'm just gonna show her what the new me is, and then remove all doubt. Thanks boys.

 

[DonJuan11]

Ok here's the whole deal:

I met this girl last year and she expressed some interest, as did I, but probably in a pretty AFC way. Nothing crazy bad but just not very good game either. I asked her out after about a week of knowing her, and she said no, but it was because she had actually just gotten into a relationship the day before with another guy.

LOL. The day before? That's a little too convenient for me.

So that didn't work out and I moved on. We did become friends, though,

Why would you be friends and essentially waste your time with a girl who just told you she's having sex everyday with her 6'1 boyfriend? If you think she's going to "see the light" and come to you, it won't that way. As soon as she told you she got into a relationship with another guy 8 hours before you asked her out, you should have disappeared.

because we share a lot of the same interests, so we hung out a lot during the school year. She broke up with the other guy mid year, but at the time, I was gaming other girls so I didn't really pursue her much.

Then she got into another relationship with this other kid who's a joke late in the year and as of now idk if she's single or not, I haven't bothered to find out, I'm just going for it regardless. She's pretty hot and for some reason I've just developed an urge to fvck her...it wasn't there for almost the whole school year.

But anyway summer rolled around and we hung out once and then we both went off to do our own stuff (which for me was a lot of out of country experiences--partying in Spain is amazing). I didn't have any contact with her for about 3 months, and then she texted me to tell me she could come to my party (which is gonna be on the 5th of Sept.) and then went on FB and contacted me, which is when she told me I was "different".

What the heck does "different" mean? Different from what? From who?

Keep in mind: during the whole year, she showed signs of attraction to me. Lots of eye contact. Lots of hugs. General kino on her part. And when I wasn't a FVCKING PVSSY and actually went for Kino and sexual behavior she didn't object. I just pvssied out cuz I was so worried about how she'd react. But I'm different now, thank god.


You can NEVER be afraid of how a girl reacts. Alot of guys get confused by this. You always have to put your best foot forward when you want to sleep with a girl. You have to be so good that she tells you "I want to sleep with you now" and you tell her "No, I don't want to sleep with you." Not the other way around.

You got to go hard dude, the more time you are in her face without sleeping with her, the less likely you will.

 

[Ice882]

You got to go hard dude, the more time you are in her face without sleeping with her, the less likely you will.

Alright dude.....

1. Its not too convenient. I know for a fact that that's what happened. Its a small school and news travels fast.

2. being friends with a girl is not a waste of time. You're a msyognistic as$ hole.

3. She's wasn't (PAST TENSE) "fvcking her 6'1 boyfriend", she's never had sex period, and the kid was like 5'8...shorter than me. Seriously, what the hel1 are you talking about?

4. "different"... I don't KNOW. That's why I started the thread, to determine what that could have meant.

5. I'm completely aware of that. I was a rAFC when I first met her, now I'm a DJ. And I'm not gonna sit around with my thumb up my as$ hoping she realizes what a "nice guy" I am and "sees the light". I'm gonna be my new self, I.E. totally badass and extroverted, and I have a feeling her attraction (which already existed) will increase.

 

[Joe Stud]

For the record, I never said a guy cant (or shouldnt) be friends with a chick. I just said that if you want to get out of the friendzone (an uphill battle), your bet shot is to keep up what you are doing...... covertly of course.