Broke a woman's heart today

[Mavrick]

Well, I guess I'm a little closer to a DJ than where I came from. I used to be such an AFC. I got my heart broke time and time again. I always thought it was my looks or my clothes, but then I came here and discovered it was my attitude and my behavior. It was an ugly mess. I latched on and clung to whatever a pretty woman would give me. I had a scarcity mindset. I believed that I wouldn't have anything after each girl I dated. One after another they fell. One after another I chased them away with my desparation.

Wonderful. Just f'ing wonderful.

Then what happened? I learned something about how people respond to different attitudes and behaviors. So, with the new chick I started being unavailable. I stopped calling and initiating conversation. I ignored her for hours on end and some days. Once she was attracted to me, I backed off and the more desperate she became. She would buy me gifts, take me to concerts, take me out to eat, or anything else she could do to win me over. This girl is about a HB7.5 and 10 years younger than me. I assure that I would fallen in love with her if I wouldn't have changed. "Falling in love" is just not a term I believe in any more.

Now as I sit here, I'm receiving text after text about how she feels betrayed and walked all over. She says that she's tired of no one appreciating her giving kindness. I sh1t you not! I've gotten about 10 text messages in the last 10 minutes. I don't know why she let herself fall for me when I told her months ago that I was not ready to be in a relationship. I have several women that I'm talking to and I do not want to be exclusive. That's jut no fun for me right now.

What I do know is...

If she could handle her relationships with the mindset that she's the catch, she would be the one breaking hearts. She's so nice, and I feel for her, but I cannot be her happiness. I would be so miserable.

Thanks to sosuave.com and so many of it's members and all the other material I've come across, I'm learning to not latch on and just hang back and let things take their course.

 

[jcap]

if she was value

recognize her, don't be nexting just cause you picked up some methods and tools

gold worth $300 in 1980s, ist still worth the same 10 , 20, 30 years later.

but if she's not to your likings, yes, stop all communication with her.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

a) If you and the girl reversed roles does that really make you a DJ... or is it possible that you just dated an AFC chick?
b) Are you not becoming that which you despised in women when you were an AFC?
c) Manage your relationship expectations better. Don't string her along if you realize that she is getting in too deep
d) Is the end goal really to break women's hearts?

You dont have to respond.. just some food for thought

 

[Mavrick]

but if she's not to your likings, yes, stop all communication with her.

Yea, I just lost my attraction to her. I'm not trying to hurt anyone. That's why I always let her know what was up, but that's what attracted her more.

I changed the end of the OP. It wasn't what I was trying to communicate.

 

[Nighthawk]

I used to be quite the heart-breaker, and it made me feel quite guilty sometimes. But I realised those tears were often 'Why can't I get what I want!?' tears of frustration as much as genuine feelings of love.

 

[Mavrick]

I used to be quite the heart-breaker, and it made me feel quite guilty sometimes. But I realised those tears were often 'Why can't I get what I want!?' tears of frustration as much as genuine feelings of love.

Selfish tears...

 

[Mavrick]

if she was value

recognize her, don't be nexting just cause you picked up some methods and tools

gold worth $300 in 1980s, ist still worth the same 10 , 20, 30 years later.

but if she's not to your likings, yes, stop all communication with her.

The opposite is true. I nexted her because I was holding on to her to fill a void. I kept her around to have someone to turn to and fall back on when all else failed. I don't need to be like that person anymore anymore. It's totally AFC to use a woman like that, and I don't need that if I really want to learn who I am and depend on myself.

 

[MacAvoy]

It's totally AFC to use a woman like that, and I don't need that if I really want to learn who I am and depend on myself.

So why are you on here bragging about it then? To me, that isn't what a mature Don Juan does.

 

[ZenGodMod]

Mavrick has come along way and still a long way to go.

Like all men on the path, he bound to make mistakes.

like making it clear to the woman that there is no future for her with him. Not by saying it, then entertaining her notions and ending to brag about her damaged emotions and claiming its self improvement.

There was too much kiss and tell in the opening post.

 

[Mavrick]

So why are you on here bragging about it then? To me, that isn't what a mature Don Juan does.

I see what you're saying, but I'm exited that women are realizing I'm a catch as opposed to me thinking they are the catch.

The original post's intent was not to exploit this woman or to brag, but to simply show the results of a change in attitude and behavior.