Bringing her back home....

[MT93]

What's going on all..

Just after a little bit of advice really.

So I've been seeing this girl for a little while, things were going well, eventually she pushed for exclusivity, I felt she was worthy and well here we are, been with her now for around a month 'Officially'

Here's the rub, she hasn't been to my place yet (I live with my mum currently) saving for deposit etc.. I have always spent a lot of time at her place with her family, pretty much lived there at some points.

We have always been very open about our 'Dream House' and what kind of things we would like etc, she does seem quite materialistic, and a lot of her previous partners have lived in big pads, parents were very well off etc, she lives in a 3 bed- nice house etc


She's started to push on the:
"When am I going to start coming round yours and being with your family babe etc etc"

This is the problem, I live in a 2 bed council flat with just me and my Mom - she isn't aware of this fact yet, but evidently - she is going too soon enough.

As much as it isn't a DJ trait- I am quite insecure about this aspect of my life - I am pretty sure it will not be an issue at all with this girl but there's always the inklin of what if she judges me on it? Especially since she has had the guys with the pools - island kitchens etc etc

Other girls have been back but my IL was always low with these, so I didn't really care what they thought, however, with this one, its different.

How do I approach this? Is it worth me speaking with her about it before hand and revealing why she hasn't been back yet?

Cheers!
MT

 

[Spaz]

Technically that's ur mom's place.

U hv no place. So don't go bringing ur girl to ur mothers. It degrades you.

Decisively inform her that she will in due course see ur place, it's just not ready yet to ur standards - emphasise that - project high value.

Any woman can accept a poor man provided he has ambitions - the mark of a great man in the making.

You're now bought urself some time, I strongly suggest hustling up a plan to rent one ASAP. You'll hv approximately 3 months from now. And if u r really a good con, you'll get 6 months at the maximum before shiet hits the fan ( I however don't suggest this).

 

[MT93]

Technically that's ur mom's place.

U hv no place. So don't go bringing ur girl to ur mothers. It degrades you.

Decisively inform her that she will in due course see ur place, it's just not ready yet to ur standards - emphasise that - project high value.

Any woman can accept a poor man provided he has ambitions - the mark of a great man in the making.

You're now bought urself some time, I strongly suggest hustling up a plan to rent one ASAP. You'll hv approximately 3 months from now. And if u r really a good con, you'll get 6 months at the maximum before shiet hits the fan ( I however don't suggest this).

Thanks for response Spaz...

Got to be honest though man, that seems a little bit extreme?
I understand your point, however, there are many of my peers etc who do not yet have there own place also..

The need to start renting just so I can bring her back? I'm not sure i agree with that

She is more pushing me on the fact of wanting to be around my family, spend more time at mine, you know? I'm just a little self conscious surrounding it..

In terms of career, car, social status etc, everything else is up to scratch and fairly in order for a man of my age, that's not a concern in honesty....

Just the housing situation is a little unsettling, as she is pressing it more and more.

 

[Spaz]

I was comparing my past self to you at 25....

My mistake.

 

[MT93]

I was comparing my past self to you at 25....

My mistake.

Ahh understood

 

[MT93]

BUMP

She pressed me on this again last night, questioning why my previous partners have been around and she hasn't.....

Any advice?

 

[Murk]

What have you been saying/what lies have you told so far?

Been in similar situation as a kid, lemme tell you this: be honest from the off movI my forward, use this as a learning experience. I always told girls straight up my life situation if it was getting deep, saves stress and keeping up lies long term, they either accept you or they don’t.

Now on to your predicament, hard for me to advise seeing as when in your situation I locked off the relationship (several relationships). Which has damaged me long term and makes my relationships volatile and makes me a bit emotionally needy and greatful seeing as now I have my own place and total freedom to Perdue and conquer who I like.

Be honest with her bro, you live at mums 2 bed flat. You’re saving for a mortgage and in the mean time you have to deal with this. “I felt apprehensive to tell you because your lifestyle etc” or just make up some lie saying your mum is crazy and can’t deal with ppl in her house since a traumatic incident but do t worry babe I’ll have my own place soon (I’m way too good at lying due to my upbringing).

Let me know what happens with this, I advise be truthful and happy/stress free.

 

[devilkingx2]

Unless you're like 30+ it's not a big deal if you live in a small place with your parents, just plan accordingly and let her know the situation, leaving out any embarrassing or unpleasant details