bringing back the disinterested girl?

[shagnscoob]

theres a girl i liek alot, and i know she liked me too and for awhile she seemed really interested. i knew she didnt want to get into a bf/gf situation though because her last bf ****ed her best friend so shes worried about getting hurt again, and also shes afraid she might move away at any time because of family stuff. but after the 2nd date, which went really well, the next time i asked her if she wanted to do something she started dodging me, and its gotten worse and worse. im doing my best to act nonchalant about it, i dont IM/call her or approach her anymore but we still make eye contact and i smile so does she, im just wondering if theres a way to bring back the interest level?

anyone know a good way to go about this?

ps-- i think it mightve had something to do with me telling her i went out wtih another girl. i asked her out one day and she said she'll talk to me about it later, she never did, so i went out wtih this other girl, i dont like her and nothing happened. but the girl i liek just knows that i went out wtih her... maybe thatll help you guys help me solve this

 

[SmoothKhan]

this is very similar to my situation with a girl in my sophomore year. it was going really well up until a day ago, when she went home from the weekend and came back. we made out on friday night, then she went home for sat/sun and came back sunday night...so i im'ed her and she seemed very non-chalant and disinterested....i asked her to get food, and she declined cuz she had dinner plans an hour beofre i was free to eat, and so on and so forth...

but in your situation i'd make the effort to confront her and get the facts straight so you don't waste time sulking about her when you are by yourself in your room or wherever you are.. if she lost interest it's most likely because u did something wrong or there's another guy, so just find out whats up w/ her and if thats the case then forget about her and find another chick

gl !

 

[shagnscoob]

Originally posted by SmoothKhan
this is very similar to my situation with a girl in my sophomore year. it was going really well up until a day ago, when she went home from the weekend and came back. we made out on friday night, then she went home for sat/sun and came back sunday night...so i im'ed her and she seemed very non-chalant and disinterested....i asked her to get food, and she declined cuz she had dinner plans an hour beofre i was free to eat, and so on and so forth...

but in your situation i'd make the effort to confront her and get the facts straight so you don't waste time sulking about her when you are by yourself in your room or wherever you are.. if she lost interest it's most likely because u did something wrong or there's another guy, so just find out whats up w/ her and if thats the case then forget about her and find another chick

gl !

at least you mde out with her yeah i had another thread where i talked about the specifics, someone sai di should talk to her about it... wouldnt that mean id have to say that i liked her? which is against the rules anyway becuase it makes you seem afc...

 

[SmoothKhan]

Originally posted by shagnscoob
at least you mde out with her yeah i had another thread where i talked about the specifics, someone sai di should talk to her about it... wouldnt that mean id have to say that i liked her? which is against the rules anyway becuase it makes you seem afc...

well it depends, if you really like her or even love her, then by all means pursue it, and also if you both have reached a level of understanding with each other, then there is no need to continue to act like a don juan around her, because you have already shown her the confidence, physical attractiveness, etc in order to get her to like you and find out more about the real you...

thats why a lot of people aren't successful when it comes to relationships, because they don't know what to do in a situation like this, where both the guy and the girl like each other, but one doesnt know how to cope with emotional complications and such...

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Leave her alone - an interested woman never "dodges"!!! Talk to her only if she initiates convo/contact!!!

Once a girl is "disinterested" she never returns!!! She is disinterested for a reason!!!

 

[shagnscoob]

Originally posted by SmoothKhan
well it depends, if you really like her or even love her, then by all means pursue it, and also if you both have reached a level of understanding with each other, then there is no need to continue to act like a don juan around her, because you have already shown her the confidence, physical attractiveness, etc in order to get her to like you and find out more about the real you...

thats why a lot of people aren't successful when it comes to relationships, because they don't know what to do in a situation like this, where both the guy and the girl like each other, but one doesnt know how to cope with emotional complications and such...

well i cant tell if shes actually dodging me becuase shes totally disinterested, or if shes dodging me because she wants me to notice or something, know what i mean?

at the moment ive been dodging her, i havent approached her once yet this week. im trying to do gangi games and see if she comes around, but right now i think i better jsut talk to her about this lame **** cuz im tired of it all, and i think that this situation is still salvagable.

one thing my friend and i talked about was that shes forcing herself not to like me or something??

(today i found out that friday she said she couldnt go dancing with me, even though she loves dancing, she ended up going out with this lesbian girl that likes her, and compliments her like crazy and is weirdly obsessed with her. saturday she went to a party with the same girl... i dont know whats up with that, she told me shes straight... god i really feel awful about this girl, i really liked her i think i pedestalled her or something, i dont really know what i did wrong, i tihnk i

 

[xhikari]

well IMHO
it's not whether u did wrong or anything or whether or not she's straight or anything
but she ain't interested
just drop by say "wassup" to her once in a while but dun bother giving in too much attention or watsoever.
this is what i think most appropriate btw.
she's just looking at u as someone to talk to when she's lonely.
so basically the good news : u r her shoulder to cry on
the bad news : u will always remain just the shoulder to cry on
so move on my man.
just an opinion only alrite.....

 

[shagnscoob]

today--

i walk with my friend to class but we split and the end, and shes in class with him so she walked with us, and kept trying to push him into me, obviously trying to get my attention, but i played it off, and eventually when we split i said 'bye jake' and intentionally left her out of the goodbyes...

later she left her group of friends to come talk to me and once again i acted totally disinterested in the conversation...


shes approached me twice now, which i see as a huge improvement, are gangi games working? when is it time to say 'listen, what the hell is going on with us?'

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by shagnscoob
when is it time to say 'listen, what the hell is going on with us?'

Men never say this unless they want to look/sound like a afc wimp!!!

 

[shagnscoob]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Men never say this unless they want to look/sound like a afc wimp!!!

people in a thread about this girl told me to talk to her about it, is there a way to go about this without making me sound afc?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Your problem is that you like her too much without her liking you to the same extent - you are in a losing position!

The question is why is she avoiding you?? You made your attempts and your interest known to her - she said she'll talk to you but never did!! Why not? It is for a reason!!! An interested woman would NEVER leave a man in limbo - your best approach is no approach - she knows the deal, don't remind her!

 

[ikkenai]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
The question is why is she avoiding you?? You made your attempts and your interest known to her - she said she'll talk to you but never did!! Why not? It is for a reason!!! An interested woman would NEVER leave a man in limbo - your best approach is no approach - she knows the deal, don't remind her!

Listen to this man - learning how to read signs properly is a critical skill, especially your case.

 

[shagnscoob]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Your problem is that you like her too much without her liking you to the same extent - you are in a losing position!

The question is why is she avoiding you?? You made your attempts and your interest known to her - she said she'll talk to you but never did!! Why not? It is for a reason!!! An interested woman would NEVER leave a man in limbo - your best approach is no approach - she knows the deal, don't remind her!

seems liek the gangi games are working, she messaged me tonight, unfortunately i didnt play my cards right, and i had to leave early but im sure this is a sign of some sort, she still wants SOMETHING otherwise she wouldve just left me alone...