Bring a rose on first date?

[pete101]

I know it's been touted on here not to bring flowers on a date.. but if you are looking to take her to a tranquile part of a park/green area for a picnic would bring a rose be unappreciated?

 

[Al Moh.]

No! Why? Because of the way you are asking. You ask if it would be appreciated. You are trying to buy affection with a flower. That's no good.

 

[Prodigy746]

you have 178 posts and you are asking this question.... wow

 

[true romance]

get her an artichoke...be different

 

[02hero]

Only if it's another girl called Rose, just tell them to act out the kiss from the movie Cruel Intentions if they want to be getting a treat from your hamper.........seriously don't do it, she won't like it......they never do.....it's like creepy....eeewwwwwww

 

[pete101]

No no. What I mean is I am seeing an older woman (I'm 26 she's 30 or late 20s) but the topic of age has not come up yet. She is some random sophisticated woman from Facebook.

Last time I went on a date with someone a few years older than me it did not go well and it led to an argument about how she did not think I looked my age as I look younger than I am.

These older decadent women seem to require higher maintenance as they socialise at expensive nightclubs/restaurants etc.

I am not planning to take her to any of these places (1 due to fact I am not willing to spend vast amounts of money on any girl. 2 I cannot afford to pay for that lifestyle)

So my conclusion is that because I am young I have to make up for it in a romantic gesture without looking cheap. A rose and some dessert for a picnic in a park in an expensive area of town would be considered romantic and different than her typical 'expensive' restaurant dates.

If I don't bring a rose and something to share in the park it will come across as cheap, but I thought this way would reflect better?

Since I'm younger she'll judge me (like the previous woman I took out that age) to the same men as her peer age group counterparts.. like she's accustomed to a certain level of luxury. This route helps me keep all my money and still provide a somewhat decadent experience.

 

[brian123]

value yourself. You are the prize.

 

[pete101]

The alternative is I go to an expensive bar with her buy her 1 drink and that's it, the rest is just conversation and how great I come across.

The result usually will entail her trying to figure out my age by asking intrusive questions which I try to evade, then she'll associate that I'm not right for her cos I don't have enough money or able to take her to nice places blah blah.

I could go down the route of getting her to qualify herself to me but I do not know what to say to do that.

Because I have never met her taking her to the park with some dessert I've made shows off my culinary skills as well as adding the rose to make it a romantic gesture rather than me looking cheap for not taking her to an expensive restaurant that she's accustomed to like most other guys would..

Basically if I take her for coffee or a cheap date it'll be night night esp coupled with the fact I'm younger than her.. I hate it but, it seems as if that if you're a couple years younger than her they inevitably try to bracket u with guys the same age as her and what they do and have to supercede that.

They use your age as a bargaining tool, obviously I need to get round that, but how?

These sorts of dates are notoriously difficult.

 

[Al Moh.]

No no. What I mean is I am seeing an older woman (I'm 26 she's 30 or late 20s) but the topic of age has not come up yet. She is some random sophisticated woman from Facebook.

Last time I went on a date with someone a few years older than me it did not go well and it led to an argument about how she did not think I looked my age as I look younger than I am.

So what? If she's got a problem with it it's a) probably because you have a problem with it and b) NEXT

These older decadent women seem to require higher maintenance as they socialise at expensive nightclubs/restaurants etc.

Higher maintenance??? Are you there for her amusement??? The focus must be on YOU! The focus must be on FUN and not on pleasing the woman. I bet if you would just focus on the fun you would be different than her other men.

So my conclusion is that because I am young I have to make up for it in a romantic gesture without looking cheap. A rose and some dessert for a picnic in a park in an expensive area of town would be considered romantic and different than her typical 'expensive' restaurant dates.

If I don't bring a rose and something to share in the park it will come across as cheap, but I thought this way would reflect better?

Once again, if she thinks you're cheap, she's just after the money. You don't have to make up for anything.

Since I'm younger she'll judge me (like the previous woman I took out that age) to the same men as her peer age group counterparts.. like she's accustomed to a certain level of luxury. This route helps me keep all my money and still provide a somewhat decadent experience.

SO you are trying to be like her other guys? I thought you wanted to be different. You're not supposed to care about what she thinks. Do what you think is fun to YOU. Presents should only be given as a reward. If I think a woman is just after my money I CHALLENGE her by not providing anything worth money, so I can see what she is really after.

You are the price. If you feel the need to pay for your women you could go to a professional.

 

[shaunuk]

No no. What I mean is I am seeing an older woman (I'm 26 she's 30 or late 20s) but the topic of age has not come up yet. She is some random sophisticated woman from Facebook.

Last time I went on a date with someone a few years older than me it did not go well and it led to an argument about how she did not think I looked my age as I look younger than I am.

These older decadent women seem to require higher maintenance as they socialise at expensive nightclubs/restaurants etc.

I am not planning to take her to any of these places (1 due to fact I am not willing to spend vast amounts of money on any girl. 2 I cannot afford to pay for that lifestyle)

So my conclusion is that because I am young I have to make up for it in a romantic gesture without looking cheap. A rose and some dessert for a picnic in a park in an expensive area of town would be considered romantic and different than her typical 'expensive' restaurant dates.

If I don't bring a rose and something to share in the park it will come across as cheap, but I thought this way would reflect better?

Since I'm younger she'll judge me (like the previous woman I took out that age) to the same men as her peer age group counterparts.. like she's accustomed to a certain level of luxury. This route helps me keep all my money and still provide a somewhat decadent experience.

Look man, just because some girls like to be spoiled and taken to all these places doesn't mean you should feel any pressure to do it. You're cool, you dont need to be taking her to such places.

And what's this romantic thing you're talking about bud? You've never even met her yet, why are you trying to be romantic?

The way I see it is you're thinking about buying her something because you think that's what she's accustomed to/expects...So? Don't be buying her stuff because you think it'll keep her interest

Don't worry about it mate, she's barely any older than you at all. At the moment you're on the verge of walking on egg shells to keep her sweet. Enjoy the date man.

 

[shaunuk]

What Al Moh said...

Stop trying to impress her man, your goal is *not* to be keeping her interest by being able to buy stuff, cook etc

 

[brian123]

take it from my own experience + failures. Doing this will only give you a sense of low value to them.

 

[Nighthawk]

It would be a hugely unattractive thing to do. Urgh!

 

[pete101]

The alternative is say I take her for coffee at starbucks she'll think you're a cheapskate and it's already game over.. ok fair enough she's a high maintenance woman but I still want to bang her netherless.

When I've taken these older women to cheap sort of places trying to rely on 'myself' as the prize even though my game isn't tight.. it always goes pear shaped.

She just evaluates in her head 'hmm.. he's only taken me here he obviously doesn't care much and i'm worth more than this' then she'll proceed to talk about the age difference and blah blah whatever.

All I'm saying is by taking her to the park for a picnic is a good way of me being cheap but also still keeping it relatively decadent.

i'm obviously not going to present the rose when i see her, i'm talking about magically making it appear once we've sat down and started talking.

Is this really such a bad idea?

I can see what you guys mean about presenting it when you see her that's just cringe worthy out of a film, but i'm presenting it at least 20mins into the date so it's unexpected. If she hassles me about what I do work wise I could use it as a line that I'm a magician and voila a rose.

 

[pete101]

Ok say i don't bring the rose, and it's literally just me a picnic basket with dessert, I see her for the first time (she's from Facebook remember) she more than liklely will be overdressed or wearing a ****tail expensive dress meant to be at a nice restaurant or bar.. then I suggest we're going to the park next to where we meet. How do you feel she's going to react to this?

Bear in mind at no point I'm telling her what we're doing beforehand, only that we're meeting in a nice part of town.

Is me just having the dessert I made picnic blanket and basket, no rose really going to look good as oppose to cheap?

It just seems like your suppose to bring champagne and strawberrys or something.. but hell no I'm not doing that.. but I can't suggest going to sit in the park and talk without props can I?

Sitting opposite her on this short blanket I have is good because it forces us to sit closer than would be normally exceptable so let's me kino easily and be in her personal space a little easier.

I just feel as if i need to have this rose presented halfway through the date to add to the spectacle.. It just I would have though differentiates me from all the other guys who bring roses.

 

[Warrior74]

flowers earned, not given.

 

[true romance]

despite all the good advices here you still stuck with the rose (AFC)...you are trying to hard..it's just a first date so relax, go somewhere that give both of you the chance to escape in case it doesn't work out. No one want to stuck in a 2hr piknik if there is no chemistry.

You projected to much the outcome...let it play out, seize the moment

Coffee, ice scream...drink at local bar lounge, terrace..etc

Be lightheart, flirt, funny..give her something that most guys don't. Good companionship instead of trying to impress her or buy her.

 

[I'm Charming]

Your constructing an insecurity over something that doesn't really matter that much, why wont you tell this woman where you're going? Sure there's a mystery element of not doing so but as you said that can blow up in your face.

You don't have to be extravagant, you don't need it to be epic, the whole idea is that you're not going out for any other purposes than to get to know each other better.

If she judges you on the fact that you take her to Starbucks or a picnic or whatever and don't pay for all the silly little things she wants or whatever then she is a golddigger and should be promptly nexted before you go on to better things.

 

[pete101]

You keep concluding that because if i take her to starbucks and she thinks im cheap well she's a goldigger and I should next her, that's fine but at the end of the day I'll know I won't have a relationship with but I still want to bang her.

I'm not saying my way will help me sleep with her but your way just suggests to me that if she won't go for coffee at starbucks then she's a gold digger and I should next her. Well that doesn't help me get pvssy now does it?

So to improve my chances I should at least go somewhere else since my game isn't 100% tight.

 

[Dink]

a rose on a first date twenty years ago was probably different then a rose today. The way things have evolved and changed woman generally would find a single rose probably a little "creepy". Some will find it sweet. I seen you mentioned her being older 27-30 range? Giving us a age doesnt help us base anything about the girl. I am very good friends with a 31yr old. she acts like shes still 23. parties like shes 18. So it just depends on what type of girl you have on your hands.

So in conclusion play it safe and dont bring a rose. the gesture is nice, but it may send the wrong signal. Something less signifying would probably be best bet if you want to bring her something. Bring her something that wouldnt trip any of her triggers. most girls i know love gummy bears. perhaps bring a bag of them and share them with her.