Brief observations of on line and in the field

[DreamAgain]

Haven't posted here in a while, but have been seeing a lot of threads recently about the diminishing returns of online dating, and perhaps the overall dimishing returns of the dating market in general.

Now, as a caveat, I am pretty average looking so I have to compensate with being as witty and interesting as I can. I have personally seen my better looking friends literally have caveman level conversations, and score more attractive women than me. I'm not bitter about this, just pointing it out as practically a fact that looks are the #1 thing women look for.

Now, because things have become more optics oriented and less intellectual than ever, the following observations put me and many other men at a severe handicap in the market. As a preface, these observations have held true for 99% of the "hot" girls ive met online and in real life. I live in a major metro area in the US:

1. These girls are obsessed with Netflix and just general media consumption. Every profile of a hot girl I've ran into mentioned "binge watching Netflix" as a thing they like to do. This usually went hand in hand with napping and Sunday brunches. Seriously, wtf?
2. "Going on adventures" was another consistent theme. They would post pictures of all these places they visited. Then, I would try to talk to them about what they liked about the place, some interesting history behind it, but no matter what I would say the conversation devolved into the conclusion of "everything was so pretty and amazing". Some really great analytical skills there.

3. Talking about wanting a gentleman and no *******s, yet having pictures with her ass and tits out in provocative poses. Especially with other slooty friends.

4. This is what I noticed more so in the real life meetups. The only conversation where I could truly engage them would be talking about other people (gossiping really) in her social circle. It's like there exists an alternate universe I'm not privy to, the hb social circle universe, where the events that occur stand on a sacred altar of importance and must be discussed religiously. Needless to say, like many of you I can feign interest in this charade for some time, but after a while I reach my breaking point and give up.

There are more of course but it just boggles my mind that so many women these days seem to have the same firmware programmed.

 

[thinker]

Looks matter but what you need to do is work to the point that you look a little bit above average, after that give off a dominant masculine vibe be a little playful and challenging and things will work out. If I were you I would get off of OLD and just go with real life. I would also only focus on women with at least moderate interest level but mainly I would stick with high interest level only. Life is to short and time is to valuable to waste on low interest women. A simple way to look above average is simply to loose enough fat so that your facial features are more noticeable, this will also tend to make men look more masculine and help with the dominant masculine vibe.

 

[Poonani Maker]

They're doh-doh birds. Creature comforts is all they care about. It's a wonder any of em ever get anything done in their "jobs." I think even nurses and women in vital positions dread their jobs and coming in to work if they can't pawn their work off onto another man. I see so many trying to get outta work and get paid the same for just "being" there as a hood ornament or refrigerator magnet. I see the gung-hoeness in the beginning when they finally land a man's job, but over time after YEARS I see the sluffin off and attempts to be the "special" one that doesn't have to do anything for the same pay. I know one who's only done about a month's work for the entire year while she basically stays on the ship all day while all other 100+ employees do what she's supposedly been hired to do just like us?

 

[ubercat]

It's unbelievable even in hard-working jobs they often manage to pawn off. My gf is a nurse education facilitator in hospitals. she freely admits that there are some big fat lazy nurses who try and get students to do their work. isn't that just peachy they put sitting on their fat arses and doing their Fakebook updates above patient safety.

In the government departments it's even worse they want to be seen as the one who can do nothing because that means they are politically protected. and yes in those places you will see the men staying back night after night popping them up. If you have a lady exec as a man you're screwed. you either play the popularity contest and watch your balls shrivel or you are an overburdened donkey or you are a target.

 

[AttackFormation]

It's unbelievable even in hard-working jobs they often manage to pawn off. My gf is a nurse education facilitator in hospitals. she freely admits that there are some big fat lazy nurses who try and get students to do their work. isn't that just peachy they put sitting on their fat arses and doing their Fakebook updates above patient safety.

In the government departments it's even worse they want to be seen as the one who can do nothing because that means they are politically protected. and yes in those places you will see the men staying back night after night popping them up. If you have a lady exec as a man you're screwed. you either play the popularity contest and watch your balls shrivel or you are an overburdened donkey or you are a target.

She can send those fat chicks my way, unless they have a man-like shape or a face that their mother needs to cross her fingers to say she loves.

Imo you have to stand up for yourself 100% of the time, always put your selfrespect first regardless of what it might cost. Bullies thrive on those who are too afraid to stand up for themselves for whatever reason.

 

[ubercat]

Preaching to choir. I just pulled the pin on a job. Probably cost me a load of cash at this time of year but I have it. I was working 60 hour weeks and boss was still ragging nothing's worth that

 

[Black Widow Void]

@DreamAgain

These are excellent and accurate observations. I also live in a more 'metro' type area.

In the past, I considered on line options to be a nice supplement to those I'd encounter in real life. I used to have decent on-line success. However, for reasons you described above, I'm no longer involved with the on line avenue.

I'm curious about a few things and wondering if you have any theories....

Five years ago or more... there always seemed to be enough women that differentiated themselves from the pack (self-expressive, articulate, and not cookie-cutter cliche'd nor the truck-stop Trixie variety).

Where did these types go?
I can't imagine that they flocked to Tinder (a site I've yet to use) because the impression I get is that Tinder is more a hook up site with less emphasis on individuality.
I'm also not seeing a recent higher abundance of them hanging out at coffee shops etc....

Any idea where they all went?

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I frequent social places alot and live in the 3rd biggest city in America. I'm glad other men are noticing the gossipy tendencies of women and their conversations. I'm usually minding my own business reading or even on my headphones, but sometimes neighboring conversations enter my ears and I catch bits and pieces of conversations. 99 percent of the time all women do is gossip, it's unbearable gossiping about their man or husband, his friends and their relationship dynamics. Some stuff is better left unsaid and she be kept private, but hey women. All they do is gossip, there conversations have no substance. It happened today a couple and and another woman they were with gossiping about the single woman's roommate. Women are a complete bore and highly overrated. Sad thing is if you say that people will think you're jaded or someone hurt you or the easy one.. probably gay. Truth is women rarely have conversations of substance they either gossip, complain talk about some lame TV shows. It's time we as men demand more from them

 

[ubercat]

It is a mystery. Meetups often seem to be a c0ck forest. yoga ladies now seemed to lead the branded yoga lifestyle so no individuality left there.

 

[biggoal]

Looks matter but what you need to do is work to the point that you look a little bit above average, after that give off a dominant masculine vibe be a little playful and challenging and things will work out. If I were you I would get off of OLD and just go with real life. I would also only focus on women with at least moderate interest level but mainly I would stick with high interest level only. Life is to short and time is to valuable to waste on low interest women. A simple way to look above average is simply to loose enough fat so that your facial features are more noticeable, this will also tend to make men look more masculine and help with the dominant masculine vibe.

Yea, and the newer smart phones do wonders too. Men should use it to their advantage the beauty mode too! You see these 50 year old women using it to make them look 40. They hide acne scares, fine lines and wrinkles well.

Oh and TRAVEL. At least down here women obsessed with travel. Who's footing the bill for all these trips and how do they get all this time off WORK for it if they're not a teacher? I don't get it. Then I look up in Tampa or St. Louis which is my home town and the women up there totally different. hotter looking on OLD and less demands and BS on their profiles compared to around here.

You need to be well traveled. Around here on their profiles well traveled is a must for many.

I think what you write plays a factor too though depending on the type of dating app. Like if they're viewing your profile, reading you messages and view your profile too but don't reply back then it's likely what you say in your message or very likely what they read about you on your profile that turns them off because they see your photo but they still look at your profile. If you're ugly they will just skip you usually.

One little thing in a written message or on your profile can be game over. Like the sports team you like or forgetting to use a period, not a morning person, etc.

 

[MrWood]

"Going on adventures

a woman wants to "experience" something, anything... an adventure does not always mean "traveling". A woman want to feel something, anything... and is often why she creates "drama" when you think everything is fine and smooth. Its interesting to note that many women create drama and bullsh1t 10/15 minutes after orgasmic sex, isnt it?

there is an interesting expression, especially in the Russian/English language translation. Its called "impressions". This refers to the "experience" of something having some/any emotional/lasting impact in a "new" way.

Example:

Me: I just returned from a trip to China
Her: wow, im sure it was fun and beautiful... many impressions ))

notice that "impression" is different and separate than "fun and beautiful" (however experiencing fun and beautiful has left an imprint/impression.

 

[DreamAgain]

@DreamAgain These are excellent and accurate observations. I also live in a more 'metro' type area. In the past, I considered on line options to be a nice supplement to those I'd encounter in real life. I used to have decent on-line success. However, for reasons you described above, I'm no longer involved with the on line avenue. I'm curious about a few things and wondering if you have any theories.... Five years ago or more... there always seemed to be enough women that differentiated themselves from the pack (self-expressive, articulate, and not cookie-cutter cliche'd nor the truck-stop Trixie variety). Where did these types go? I can't imagine that they flocked to Tinder (a site I've yet to use) because the impression I get is that Tinder is more a hook up site with less emphasis on individuality. I'm also not seeing a recent higher abundance of them hanging out at coffee shops etc.... Any idea where they all went?

In my opinion, they went where all the other women in their peripheral herd went, it just took them longer join.

Now, it may seem crazy that in a span of 5-ish years so much can change, but we must remember how amorphous woman are by nature. They are very susceptible to peer pressure changes and "fitting in", perhaps that is a characteristic of ancient survival traits they needed.

This is why, I hope at least, as quickly as modern society and technology sort of corrupted everything, a swing in the opposite direction can just as quickly turn that around. However, big tech, Hollywood, very influential forces do not want that, so it is a very unlikely thing to occur.