breakup cause parents

[Bryce556]

So basically me and this girl have been dating for about 4 months, and I don't date people lightly I like to spin plate. But this girl was different. I actually fell in love with her. everything was going great. but..

her mom is nutz. this girl is 18 years old and starting university 1st year same program as me. and her mom dident like me from the start apparently just because i was dating her.

so basically what happened is everything is going good we are even getting more into a deeped relationship then bam i get called into her moms room and im basically *****ed at for 15 min. i dident even get a chance to say anything!. i was called names i was told i was a loser and not good enough for my girlfriend and how im ****y and arrogant. im a bad influence on her younger brother and on and on the list goes.

funny thing i never talked to the mom more then 5 seconds so how can she know that? the mom like controls everything in the family. i dident know what to say. next i find out is my girlfriend is told to break up with me by her mom, or else she will be kicked out and sent back to her abusive father on the east coast.

so she has no choice but to break up with me...

we are still speaking but what do i do?? how can i fix this?? ive tried asking to talk to the mom but the mom said she sees me as a child (which is insulting cause im going into 2nd year univerity and work as a personal trainer) so she dosent see the point of talking to me she has said everything she wants.

my girlfriend told me she loves me and she dosent use that term lightley neither do I.

 

[Cinamon]

Have you and your girlfriend thought bout moving in together? I know finances are usually tight, but a lot of people manage to cope. If oyu really love her, its an option.

 

[Commandante]

this girl is 18 years old and starting university 1st year same program as me

im going into 2nd year univerity and work as a personal trainer

i was a loser and not good enough for my girlfriend

Her mother pays her university which means the university must be good enough for her. But a guy coming from the same university and working at the same time is not good enough for her. This is bullsh!t. Doesn´t matter who you are or what you do. Not your personality or studies are the problem but the fact that there is a guy who wants to take her daughter away.

my girlfriend is told to break up with me by her mom, or else she will be kicked out and sent back to her abusive father on the east coast.

Yeah, her mother uses your GF´s financial dependence to keep your GF under control. I know this situation from the inside, my mother was also like this. The only way out for your GF is to get financial independent. Given the fact that both of you are 18 and at the beginning of your university studies you don´t have any chance to get your GF out of her mother´s hands.

1. She could quit (or not start) university and get a job and move out from home but at the age of 18 it is quite impossible.

2. She could find a rich guy and move to him. Maybe he would finance her studies.

But you can´t do anything. Sorry man, you have to move on!

 

[Da Realist]

But you can´t do anything. Sorry man, you have to move on!

**** that. Sorry, I've been in the same boat before. My ex's mom didn't like me basically because I was black and one day told her to break up with me. Keep in mind I had only met the woman once. I didn't lay out a completely syrupy speech about how we loved each other and it was meant to be. I told her I loved her, don't get me wrong, but I also reminded her of who made her happy and pointed out that her mom and her mom's friend didn't have a man and were probably angry that you did. I laid out the whole "misery loves company" talk and it worked. Sounds like you're gf's mom is the similar. My only solution may be to get your girl to agree to do things in secret for a while till she can get control over her money for school. Once that's out of the way, you "magically" spring back up, give the finger to the mom letting her know you aren't backing down, you beat her, and you live happily for as long as possible. Life's too short to let negative people ruin your happiness, so do what you can about it.

 

[scrouds]

Ummmm... her mom doesn't need to know you're still dating. Keep it a secret.

 

[Bryce556]

basically what were doing is just keeping things on the down low and dateing in secret. things are all okay with me and her. but things at home have gotten even worse for her. even with me not around her mom is still doing stuff to her.

it pisses me off so much and after this last incident where her mom had her stepfather hold her down while she beat her. i saw all the nail scratches and bruises all over her and she was really reluctant to tell me what happened. her mom even made her go apoliogize to the neigourbous after for being loud. when she was screaming for help and for her mom to stop. her mom took her cell away so she couldent call me to come get her when her mom locked her in her room.

ive strongley encouraged her to leave home at this point ive even offered her to come stay with me for a minimul amount of rent less then what she pays her mom now.

I cant understand why she wont just leave, she is concerned about her music career and other stuff that her mom will mess it up if she leaves. she pays her mom like 500 a month for rent and ontop of that her mom goes into her wallet whenever she needs money and just takes all her money. she makes quite a bit of money modeling and stuff but dosent get to keep much of it. she is made to do everything around the house. but she also wont leave cause her younger brother. she told me it seemed fine short term but dident know what she would do long term without a car and stuff.