Breakup Advice

[DrDope]

I've been seeing a girl for about four months. We're kind of at the end of the 90-dayoption period. You know, where you can opt out before the relationship gets any more serious.

And I think that's what I want to do.

It started out as a lot of fun but has turned sour. The whininess and the demands are too much. I want someone sweet, not someone who will complain all the time. Anyway, who cares? I want out.

Any tips on the smoothest, most expeditious and classiest method to breakup? I want to avoid any mean-spirited conversation and get out with minimal damage. I expect there will be some tears, but I can deal. Thank you in advance for you assistance.

 

[DoubleA]

Are you positivly sure you want to end it with her?

Furthermore it was doomed the moment you two decided to create some Hookie 90 day contract.

I don't think it works like that. See if it can be salvaged or tweaked. Maybe it's something you both are doing that can be avoided. But if you want to give her the boot, Just Do It.

There's no easy way to break it off. No second place medals. Consolation prize. That's why it sux. And if you do it...for the recond it's ON YOU. I'd see what happens a week after the 90 days. She could be testing you.

 

[DrDope]

Thanks for responding, Rollo.

Originally posted by Rollo

Furthermore it was doomed the moment you two decided to create some Hookie 90 day contract.

This contract only exists in my head. It is implied, not expressed. What I mean is that the 90 day point is usually a good time to assess whether you want to dive in further (and risk greater entaglement) or bail while the heartache is still relatively minimal.

She could be testing you.

I've considered this. How do I pass a BS test when the test is tolerating her complaining and whining? I don't want to tolerate it. It irritates me to no end.

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by DrDope
How do I pass a BS test when the test is tolerating her complaining and whining? I don't want to tolerate it. It irritates me to no end.

You don't have to tolerate ANYTHING if you don't want to. There is far too much talk on these boards about "passing" sh1t tests, when you really should be walking right out of the exam room. Tests are for school, a sexual relationship with a woman needs to be devoid of that kind of stress and discomfort.

It just f#ckin amazes me to see the same posts over and over (not saying DrDope is one of them)-- some girl giving some dude a hard time, and he stresses and suffers over every little detail, trying to figure out how to react in the most "DJ" manner possible while keeping the girl in his life. If that's being a DJ, then we may all just as well be AFCs again. If you can't stop giving *any* girl that kind of consideration in your life, then you're in no better position than the AFC symp who knows nothing at all.

When you pay no mind to women and their bullsh1t, when their scandalous behavior rolls right by without getting so much as a passing glance, THEN you will truly be free. Until that time, you're completely lost and enslaved.

 

[DrDope]

I think at this point I just want to depart with dignity and not get into a big fight about it. I know she'll be all over me about leaving her as soon as things get tough. But I don't think that's the case. I might just give her the old "It's not working out." line over and over again.

I don't want to hear all her crap about men and me being just like everyone else. [I imagine everyone else left her for the same freaking reason.]

 

[gixxer]

That's pretty profound drZaius. Profound indeed........

gixx

 

[DoubleA]

The Problem

I think at this point I just want to depart with dignity and not get into a big fight about it. I know she'll be all over me about leaving her as soon as things get tough. But I don't think that's the case. I might just give her the old "It's not working out." line over and over again. Written by DrDope

Let's look at the two sides here.

You -

She's all over your back. Poppin her gums about this and that. Basically making your relationship a living ball of corinary STRESS. BUT you haven't said anything about it have you?? Have you said ,"YO! Seriously you got too much MOUTH."?? I mean my pops says that to my moms at times and guess what? He's right! Sometimes she does shoot off too much. He's just being a man. And she's just being a woman. Trust me, address the problem you really have with her. Then you can look at the front door all you want.

Her -

From what I hear she's probably been hurt. Yada Yada Yada. Well. It is a shame she has been hurt. And probably she's in the same type of relationship that usually doesn't go anywhere. THAT'S IMMATURITY. If she doesn't see what she's doing wrong then SHE'S THINKING WITH HER CROTCH. Unsuccessful at relationships because she can't do one simple thing. Change her PRINCESSY ATTITUDE. Some people do change. But not overnight.

F' it let her go. If she can't stop being selfish then toss it. But really assess the situation and get to the real problem. When you ditch her it's not personal, it becomes a matter of intolerance. But you won't feel mad. You gave her time enough to straighten out.

Zaius is right. There is too many women who are willing to play "catch the bologna and cuddle" (LOL) than make your life a living hell.

Funk that.