Breaking Up

[aussiegoat55]

So I've dated a few girls for a couple weeks each, some lost interest in me first, I lost interest in some other ones first. Anyway, when it's casual dating whats the best way to end it, break it off?

One of the girls I lost interest in, I stopped calling her, seems like I may have burned a bridge, left her in the dark, and I don't want to do that.

So is it better just to let things flow and have both sides infer the "relationship" is over, or is it better to communicate it directly with one another and officially break up? I just don't want to disappear, break off all contact, or especially burn a bridge.

Thanks.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

"Hey, I need to tell you this. I have fun hanging out with you but I need to tell you that I'm not feeling the chemistry yet. You're a great friend but I wouldn't want to lead you on if I didn't know whether my feelings for you would change or not."

A couple of things, this not only lets her down easily while making look like a good guy , the door is left open just "in case" your feeling would change sometime in the future. For instance, in a month or so when you happen to be driving home through her neighborhood coming from a date that bombed and have an almost full bottle of wine that you don't want to go to waste. Who better to see again to chat over a bottle of wine?...

Boom-chicka-waa-waaaa

 

[aliasguy]

"Hey, I need to tell you this. I have fun hanging out with you but I need to tell you that I'm not feeling the chemistry yet. You're a great friend but I wouldn't want to lead you on if I didn't know whether my feelings for you would change or not."

A couple of things, this not only lets her down easily while making look like a good guy , the door is left open just "in case" your feeling would change sometime in the future. For instance, in a month or so when you happen to be driving home through her neighborhood coming from a date that bombed and have an almost full bottle of wine that you don't want to go to waste. Who better to see again to chat over a bottle of wine?...

Boom-chicka-waa-waaaa

-
-
-

That sounds good as I read it, and I'll agree with the logic behind the second paragraph.

But I just don't think a girl would be buying it. I can just see "Mary-Sue" getting all pissed, or hurt, or vindictive over this. At least based on things I've seen before.

Am I wrong? Probably. I'm sure this one has been used before, and it must have worked for someone. But I don't think I could really pull it off. Others could, but I'd sound stupid. Not that the words or ideas are stupid, but I don't think I could SAY that without sounding condescending, smug, arrogant, or just LYING. (Especially after having been f*cking her for a while.)

I, unfortunately, have a tendency to just quit calling them. They just drop off my radar screen and I "forget" about them. Until I feel like hitting them up again. Frequently, I can get back in the door, but I'm sure I could probably do much better if I knew what the BEST way was to handle this.

Funny, I was thinking about this question just last week.

I'm glad it got brought up.

-
-
-

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...But I just don't think a girl would be buying it. I can just see "Mary-Sue" getting all pissed, or hurt, or vindictive over this. At least based on things I've seen before. ..

Good point, I'll tell you the situation that would cause this. It happens when the woman has much more invested into the relationship than you and you've let her feel that way for an extended period of time. It's like driving somewhere with your bud and you miss a turn several miles back. He figured out that you missed it a mile or so after the turn but doesn't tell you until you are almost 10 miles out of the way.

...I, unfortunately, have a tendency to just quit calling them. They just drop off my radar screen and I "forget" about them. Until I feel like hitting them up again. Frequently, I can get back in the door, but I'm sure I could probably do much better if I knew what the BEST way was to handle this. ...

It's the dropping from the radar which causes problems if the woman can easily pick up some other guy to fill the void you left. If she's the type who will hang around and wait, great! Then all you are doing is spinning plates but this one is just way down in the rotation.