breaking up without hurting her?

[lil devun]

is it possible? we've been going out for 2 months. shes gotten really attached. she is kinda emotionall fragile and i dont want to hurt her at all. we go to a really small school and im gonna see her all the time. my reason is i cant stand being in an exclusive relationship. im thinking its better for both of us to "take a break" before (if we break up). any help would be rad

 

[Runna13=)]

"It's not you, it's me."

Don't continue this relationship any further if it's not going to go anywhere. Tell her the truth, using positive connotation.

 

[AmgineEX]

easy, lie.

and attached over a 2month relationship? infatuation at best.

 

[hardwork]

It's a start...! but don' poison the chil'en like that!

Originally posted by AmgineEX
easy, lie.

And, after you're done with that, go on ahead and take the path of the eunuch! Really, it's not like you're man enough to need the things, anyway.

What kind of self-respecting man lies?

Anyway, AmgineEX made a good point:

Originally posted by AmigneEX
and attached over a 2month relationship? infatuation at best.

Though there's usually no way to break of a relationship without at least a little hurt involved, the pain here should be similar to her stubbing her toe on a cheese log: brief and intense (if at anything all).

Two months isn't usually a big enough deal to warrant some half-assed tactic like lying, nor does it require tears: It's just not going to work between you two; end of story. Hey, you gave it a shot and it doesn't appear to be anything either of you could benefit from. No biggie.

 

[fezz]

whatever you do, dont lie. And if you're not happy with how things are goin, you need to tell her as soon as possible before she gets even more attached. Yes, shes gonna be hurt, but sometimes that just the way things have to happen, and who knows, one day she might be stronger because of this. Rejection and being dumped has got me out of my hole. Maybe itll do the same for her. But ya, i think shes gonna be hurt no matter what,

 

[AmgineEX]

The guy asked for the least painful way, not the most morally correct way. I gave him the best answer, simple as that.
It's better to make up some lie than to say "I'm not interested you in anymore and my interest level in you has hit rock bottom" if youre looking for a relatively painless solution.

Chicks do it all the time. All is fair in love and war. The petty attempt to discredit what i was saying wasn't needed. He asked a simple question, i gave him the best and most straight forward answer.

 

[AmgineEX]

Another question oh mighty Mod. Are you saying you never lied in your life? I hope not, because if you did, then you wouldnt be a self respecting man, not to mentino a hypocrite.

 

[hardwork]

An angry furvor!

Originally posted by AmgineEX
It's better to make up some lie than to say "I'm not interested you in anymore and my interest level in you has hit rock bottom" if youre looking for a relatively painless solution.

Chicks do it all the time. All is fair in love and war. The petty attempt to discredit what i was saying wasn't needed. He asked a simple question, i gave him the best and most straight forward answer.

Here we disagree.

I'm of the opinion that it's hardly ever "better" to make up some lie. In this situation specifically, why not just say, "I don't think it's going to work out between us"? There's no reason to make up a lie at all, really.

And does that "chicks do it all the time" make it "right" for a burgeoning man to do? Chicks are not guys, guys are not chicks. Why should we guys adopt the traits of chicks any moreso than absolutely necessary? Femininity wasn't meant for men.

Originally posted by AmgineEX
Another question oh mighty Mod. Are you saying you never lied in your life? I hope not, because if you did, then you wouldnt be a self respecting man, not to mentino a hypocrite.

Hey, we only disagree slightly. It's not like I was bad-mouthing your bloodline, man.

Yes, I have lied and I've lied a lot. I'll be the first person to admit it, too. I've lied enough to convince myself that lying isn't what needs to be a constant attribute of mine. I think more people respect others who tell the truth constantly than those who lie constanly, yeah? And getting anywhere in life or in this game is like skating uphill if you're not able to garner respect (be it the respect of yourself or the respect others hold for you).

To me, lying gets in the way of experiencing things for what they are. Lying is an artificiality, a made-up world. I'd rather learn from my actions than learn from the consequences (the made-up reality) of a lie.

 

[Need-2-B-Pimpin]

Originally posted by AmgineEX
Another question oh mighty Mod. Are you saying you never lied in your life? I hope not, because if you did, then you wouldnt be a self respecting man, not to mentino a hypocrite.

His point is to tell you not to lie. Everyone has told lies, yourself, himself, myself, all of us included, so don't bash him about it. Just because we screw up doesn't mean we can't try to prevent others from doing so. If we went by that logic, then none of us could criticize each other about most things.

 

[LikRetsam]

You lie when you fear. Are you afraid?

Give it to her straight: "X, I'm not enjoying our relationship anymore and no longer wish to be in it"

Don't stay to chat. Do it face to face, quick and swift. Don't excuse yourself, you have nothing to be sorry about. Just let her know it's not working out for you.

 

[ShizamDaMan]

"Sorry, but I just don't feel that romantic vibe between us."

 

[Beatflux]

Tell her you have herpes. After your broken up tell everyone it was a false alarm, the doctor was an idiot!