Breaking the awkward cycle

[saber101]

Okay so heres my problem: I don't have that much trouble attracting women, but when it comes to hanging out with them, i am hopeless. Every time i go "hang out" with a chick, the feedback i get 100% of the time was you made things awkward.

For Example:

There was this girl who seemed pretty into me, so i asked her if she wanted to spend lunch with me. Her reaction was: sure! So we had lunch and everthing was going okay at first then we went for a walk outside. Then we went back inside, and she saw some of her friends. So we sat down with them and i stayed with her for about another two minutes and i told her i had to go finish up some stuff before the lunch hour ends, and then i left... Later that day I went onto MSN and she was on. Shes usually a talker and she usually says hi to me before i say hi to her. So i waited and she didnt say anytihng, so i decided to say hi to her. The convo went sometihng like this:

Me: Hey
Her: hi
Me: Whats up
Her nothing u (she usually has some long response
Me: Im just about to go xmas shopping. I'm so boned tho cuz no one in my fmaily gave me a list
Her: oh
Awkward Pause
Me: Whatcha doin tthis weekend
Her: Dunno yet u?
Me: Probably having some peopl over from out of town again
her: oh
Awkward Pause
Me: u don't seem very talkative today
Her: (out of the blue) you make everything awkward, but i gtg ill ttyl. (logs out)

The horrible thing is, thats not the first time i've been told that by a girl. I'm not really sure what im doing wrong. There is always atleast a slight attraction between me and the girl, but after we hang out (its not always a date) her attraction ti me just kinda fizzles out. What am i doing wrong? and how can i make things less awkward?

 

[i am me]

that sucks man. just have fun with her when youre with her, dont be boring

 

[lchck]

wow unless u did something before theres no reason for her to have said that. If anything shes making the convo awkward. you sure there werent awkward moments in ur actual convos b4

 

[Patrick124]

u probably have awkward silences?
and i feel you. I've ahd girls do the exact same act. the fact of the matter is shes no longer interested. She basicly stops giving u mroe than one word responses and seems really distant from the convo right?
thats a b!tch. work on your conversation skills. listen to comedians.

 

[crunk]

i love the "Awkward Pause" on msn, thats hilarious. As for your probablem, how attraction fizzzles out... keep gaming, keeping bustin her balls, keep being playfull and giving her a hard time, if the conversation dies and it doesnt pick up,,, say " ive done all the talking, its your turn, entertain me"... Keep her on her toes that way she' wont get bored. Thats my 2cents.

Peace

 

[Dimebag_Darrell]

You f*cked up because not how you look, or what you do. Its what you did.

She's probably very insecure and you leaving at lunch was in her eyes a sign that you don't like her. Only take it with a grain of salt though as you say this has happened more than once.

Other than, loosen up.

 

[saber101]

Originally posted by Dimebag_Darrell
You f*cked up because not how you look, or what you do. Its what you did.

She's probably very insecure and you leaving at lunch was in her eyes a sign that you don't like her. Only take it with a grain of salt though as you say this has happened more than once.

Other than, loosen up.

That actually makes a lot of sense.. She actually is really insecure because she was saying that she only has one real friend and the rest of her friends always backstab her, so maybe me leaving her made her feel like i was backstabbing her. But the reason i left was becuase i didnt know her friends very well and i didnt things to get more awkward than they already were. So next time do you think i should stay with her the whole lunch hour?

 

[Dimebag_Darrell]

No. You should open up to her friends.

If you like her enough or rather if you are trying to get better with women, always remember to get to know her friends a little bit. Girls in general validate themselves based on the opinions conveyed by her friends. If you are good with her friends you are in the good.

I've noticed this awkward crap a couple of times and I've gotten confessions from a few girls. They get awkward because they are AFCish. The girl likes you but one little thing and she assumes that you are backstabbing her or whatever which is not the case. Think about it. And also take whatever clues the girl gives you about herself and work off of that. If she has told you that she "believes" that her friends decieve her then you need to be seen sort of in a different light. She's fragile, work with it or move on.