Breaking social group perception?

[Life-Trainee]

How can I break a frame of how others percieve me in my social circle? I'm finding it really difficult to do that.

I've known some of these people for 9 years and we're good friends. But I can't shake that image they have of me being a loser. I feel like i'm instantly getting beta-ized.

My opinions on things and my leadership aren't being recognized or followed. And they all treat me like I'm still that guy i was two years ago.

For instance, there's this guy in our group that is perceived to be always funny and is constantly cracking jokes. However, I'm NOT perceived or remembered as being fun so I get much lesser response to my jokes. Or people just scoff me as being a tryhard.

In my alternative social circle I'm always considered funny, a leader and a guy who everybody listens to and gives time of the day.

Could it be that my long term friends are just more honest about some things than my newer friends? Therefore they don't try too hard to agree with me?

I don't have a stable alternative social circle so I'm stuck for now with changing how I"m seen in my primary one.

Anyone had success achieving this? I feel like it's detrimental to my progress to spend to much time with my old friends but for now I don't really have a choice. And good friends are hard to find.

 

[Luveno]

Old habits die hard.

TV show ratings go down if a main character goes through a major personality change.


My suggestion is to abandon your primary group of friends.

 

[epicurean]

i'd say u need to find a new group, but bump for others' opinions

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by Life-Trainee


Anyone had success achieving this? I feel like it's detrimental to my progress to spend to much time with my old friends but for now I don't really have a choice. And good friends are hard to find.

Just keep being your new self and they'll eventually forget about the old you. If they have 9 years of experience with old you, it'd be kind of ridiculous for them to lose their opinions of you overnight. Just do what you want and they'll get used to the new you and won't think too much about how you used to be.

I personally wouldn't even want to hang out with my high school friends if i still talked to them today.

 

[flexion_]

I have a few different social cirles:

1) work group
2) sports group
3) university group
4) long term friend group

Personally I look for different things from each group. Work group stimulates my mind and challenges me - I tend to lead most things here. The sports group I'm fairly quiet and prefer to be more of a follower and it gives some good exercise. The university group I can be silly and childish. My long term friend can be any combination of the first 3 groups. Each group are completely different types of people.

I guess what I'm saying is each circle of friends you have should satisfy some need but not necessarily all of them. Keep your group but don't waste your time trying to change things - just find another circle for whatever it is you are looking for.

 

[Tboner]

Life-Trainee,

My best friends are not my high school friends, but mostly friends I've made after learning the game. During the high school years, you get branded as a certain type. With me, it was the very intelligent geek, nice guy, not outgoing.

I do occasionally run in to my classmates and get many different responses from them. It shocks almost everyone.

 

[ScrewIt]

I kind of understand your situation. as im in a similar one....but in the end it just depends on the type of people they are.

First off it's not easy to change one's perception of you, particularly if you've known them since h.s. But their perceptions can change if you give yourself the opportunity, guess you could say its' the vibe you give. As they say...first impressions are ever lasting.

My friends im with, they're arrogant and half the time dont agree with me. But it's due to their lack of social interactions with people on a daily basis that limits their reasoning abilities. ex: stay home, play games, do the same stuff over and over. One of the biggest issues with my h.s. buddies is a communication barrier, they dont want to talk about stuff that i want to talk about.

Usually new acquantances or friends i make, theyre the opposite. They agree or even add their opinion, optimistic even... We can talk about so much more things in general than my h.s. buddies would ever want to talk about.

As someone said, different social groups fulfill different parts of your needs. Each social group can be broken up into a particular category. There are the pessimists, optimists, mature, immature, stay-at-home, outgoing, socializers, geeks, partyers, junkies, bar goers....etc. This list can go on and on, in the end it depends on the type of personalities in the group that make the group what it is.