Breaking my fear of approaching

[Viper]

Yeah, well, I'm tired of being afraid to approach and I'm finally going to do something about, I'm going to figure out the problem and attempt to fix it. You see, the main reason that I'm afraid to approach is that I don't think that I'll get far with the girl. Approaching the girl and saying, "Hey, how's it going?" isn't hard for me, but from my past experiences, I just don't think the conversation will go any further than that. I fear that, I'll say "Hey, how's it going?", she'll reply with something, I'll reply with something and boom, complete silence. Remember, these are random girls and most them, I don't have classes with and/or aren't in the same grade is me, so I most likely don't know anything about them. I'm not even talking about approaching girls I like here, but just girls that I just go up to for practice. People tell me to be ****y and funny, but while I'm good with the ****y part, I'm not very good with the funny part, so most of the time I end up sounding like an Assh*le. Also, what should you do when a girl, is just a straight up b*tch to you or gets an attitude with you, do you just say "F*ck you, I don't need this." or should you, dare I say it, apologize. That's why I'm afraid of using C+F, some girls are just so damn conceited and full of themselves, you try to neg hit them and they turn psycho-***** on you.

 

[oakraiderz2]

He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack...

 

[Taviii]

I would say dont ever apologize, and if a chick acts like a b*tch then shes not worth the time speaking to her.

Good luck with your plan!!

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by oakraiderz2
He's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack...

Shut up man, if you don't have anything useful to post, then don't post and if you do, I'll just ignore you. Look, I'm tired of making these posts as you guys are reading them, but I really want to improve. So don't pull any of that, "Complaining" crap, dude, because this is in no way complaining, I'm simply posting this because I want to improve. I've read through some of the DJ Bible and from what I've read it hasn't really helped me with the situation. I don't really have time to read the whole DJ Bible, because I have wrestling practice. And speaking of wrestling, that's direct proof that you can't say I haven't listened to you guys, you guys told me to go out and join something and I joined wrestling and I'm loving it right now. Still, if you don't have anything useful to contribute, I don't want to hear it and if you do decide to post some useless crap/spamming/flamming/doesn't contribute to the topic, stuff, I'll just ignore it.

 

[Holland]

Viper, go get a good social life before you get into girls.

 

[Phat]

Viper.. U HAVE TO PRACTICE TALKING TO GIRLS. U ARE THINKING TO DAM MUCH ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. JUST GO DO IT! WHO CARES IF THE CONVO LAST FOR 5 SECONDS OR W/E. JUST KEEP PRACTICING AT IT AND YOU WILL GET GOOD AT IT..

 

[Viper]

Originally posted by Holland
Viper, go get a good social life before you get into girls.

I DO MAN... I go to wrestling practice EVERYDAY from 3:00-6:00 PM. I've made a lot of friends doing so. The only day that we don't have a wrestling event is Sunday.

Viper.. U HAVE TO PRACTICE TALKING TO GIRLS. U ARE THINKING TO DAM MUCH ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. JUST GO DO IT! WHO CARES IF THE CONVO LAST FOR 5 SECONDS OR W/E. JUST KEEP PRACTICING AT IT AND YOU WILL GET GOOD AT IT..

I have practiced talking to them a lot, but it's always the same thing. There's something I'm just doing that just isn't sparking interest, good posture, smile, eye contact, no *****. Thing is, if the conversation only last 5 seconds, that means I'm doing something wrong. I especially don't want to go up the girl that I want to f*ck with that sh*t. I can talk to girls no problem, talking isn't the problem, it's building rapport with the random girl and showing her, that your not just another guy.

 

[i am me]

Don't worry or think too much when you're talkin to girls. Remember they're just GIRLS. You shouldn't be afraid to mess up in front of girls because they're JUST GIRLS. Just play around with em anyway you can. Tease em, push em a bit, just act as flirty/playful with em as you can man. Keep the conversation light and not serious unless you have to and you'll be fine

 

[Vilempror]

Hey Viper, I feel your pain man. Unfortunately conversation really is just a game of trial and error until you figure things out.

Personally, I think it would be a good idea for you to start taking note of what you say and do during a convo and how it turns out. Later (like that evening) you can reflect on the convos that went well and the convos that weren't so great. In time, you will see commonalities between the conversations, and will know what things to talk about or avoid.

For example, let's say you're talking to a chick and she seems really into you, but then you tell her some joke and she shuts you out. If this happens a few more times, it should be easy to see that they don't find the joke funny. I know that example is pretty obvious, but it's true for other things as well. Sorry I can't give more concrete examples, but I'm not that experienced myself.

For now I'd suggest you keep trying different things when talking to a girl, you'll figure out what works and what doesn't (for example, you can greet a girl in a near infinite variety of ways: hey, hi, hello, hey there, hey girl, hey hows it going, my name's __ what's yours, do I know you from somewhere, excuse me miss, you look excited/happy/bored... I think you get the idea.)

Good luck man, just keep trying (different things!).

 

[JayUK]

Hey from England! Jus try an pretend that this gurl is just as nervous as you, pretend its her loss if she dont talk to you, and act like a KING! Be dead ****y an like lean agenst a wall like 90 degrees from them, so shes on ure left lookin at u, she mite lean wit u, cus then u aint lookin at each other!
Orrr ask her if she wants to go chill somewhere, or say somethin like do u kno where this place is?! an then say your new can she show u wer it is herself, an then talk to her like 'how long u bin comin here' or this warm weather is awesome, i love playin football in this weather, u like football?!' or anythin, jus blag them an ask them questions.
Say if you say 'hey hows it goin'
she says 'im good how r u?'
say somethin like 'well i was okay, but this morning, somethin awesome happened'
like try an get her attention, jus pretend ure above the gurl!
Thats what I try and do!
Keep truckin man