"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Breaking a shy girl

A

Athens

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Alright guys, I need some help. This girl I'm trying to get with is shy as hell. I can tell she's interested in me based off observations and some things a friend of hers said, and I've noticed these things for several months. I've been talking with her and trying to flirt with her, but she's just so shy. I mean, she's drop dead gorgeous (an easy 10), but she's so shy it's weird.

Some examples are sometimes when I say hi to her she looks at me with absolutely no expression on her face (or avoids looking at me completely) and waves back and leaves immediately, as if she doesn't want to be around me. But then later the same day, she wants me to walk her to her class or wants me to go somewhere with her afterschool. Sometime's I catch her looking at me too and I'll smile or nod to her or something, but she'll quickly avert her gaze, even after she saw my gesture. She's also not much of a talker I've noticed when she's nervous so I kill myself trying to keep conversation going.

My question is, how do I get through to this girl, or any shy girl? Should I just come on more strong or what?

EDIT: By the way, another thing to add for reference; she used to be much more talkative around me, but as the signs increased, she started talking less.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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D

Docs

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You need to talk to her, let her get to know you a little bit. Don't make any fast and heavy moves, and offer to take her out on a date. I don't know why, but being gentle with these girls works.
 
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Raikojo17

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lol k, this one worked for me. jus say smething stupid or completely random. or ask her a random question. she will get confused and ask u wats up. this will get her talkin. this will also give her a sense of comfort cause she realizes u are comfortable and relaxed around her.
 
A

Athens

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Docs said:
You need to talk to her, let her get to know you a little bit. Don't make any fast and heavy moves, and offer to take her out on a date. I don't know why, but being gentle with these girls works.
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She already knows me well, and has since about the beginning of 2006. She's just gotten more shy around me since then, to my surprise. I thought it would have been the reverse. But yeah it's really weird.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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gyrahf

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She might've had odd relationships in the past and doesn't want to get close to guys due to being hurt. You need to get her really comfortable with her first and then take things really slow. With a girl that's already shy it might not be a good idea if you're just trying to hook up with her, as she'll go even more shy after a bad experience.
 
A

Athens

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gyrahf said:
She might've had odd relationships in the past and doesn't want to get close to guys due to being hurt. You need to get her really comfortable with her first and then take things really slow. With a girl that's already shy it might not be a good idea if you're just trying to hook up with her, as she'll go even more shy after a bad experience.
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I'm in this for a relationship, but I defintely get your point. She actually just broke up with her boyfriend a few days ago, and she's been like this towards me for about a couple of months now, so I don't think it's because of hurt. She's just generally shy, even around her friends she's not the most talkative one.

How do I get her to be comfortable with me while still showing that I'm interested in her?
 
T

THE_ADDMAN

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"breaking"?

:D
 
S

shydude

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Umm.. how about you make a move, and brake the ice. Stop thinkin and just go do whatever u wanna do.. NO more with the, how can i brake her shyness **** plz.. Just make a move, ask her out, or whatever u wanna do with her. HOpe this helps
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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gyrahf

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How does she act around other guys in terms of her "shyness"?

I would say just talking and time. You need to exhibit something to make her interested in you in terms of a boyfriend. If she's super shy she probably won't want you to start coming on to her, so my suggestion would be taking it slow when you hang out and all. Ask her to hang out over the weekend to watch a movie at your house or something. Bake some cookies together or something while you're doing it.

I've had positive results with this combination: Picked her up and went to rent a movie. Got the movie "Amelie", it's a french film with subtitles and romantic at times as well as funny. Went back to her house and had dinner with her family. We made some cookies and ate them. Went upstairs to watch Amelie, I suggested building a fort like you do when you were a kid. She was really into that and gave me good vibes. I know this sounds like a 6 year old thing to do but she was digging it, and when she didn't lock her door and her parents come in to say something it's easy to just stop hooking up because they don't see what you were doing. So we put up the fort and started the movie. Then about 3/4 of the way through we started hooking up. Her parents came in, we said goodnight to them. They went to bed and we made out some more, then the movie ended and we put on some music and continued to make out. It worked well for me. Maybe something along those lines with a twist. If it's good weather you could get some bread and go feed geese/ducks at the park or something. I've done that before and it always worked well for me.
 
D

djweses89

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well theres a thing she just broke up wit her b/f that means shes probley in a lil bit of a depressed mood what you need to do is make it where you make her laugh make her happy and when shes around you she automaticly gets happy dont go around her when shes really sad ether another thing make sure your not the one keepin her shy you know bein shy yourself around her cus everyone knows about if your nervious and shy around her causes disconfurt and for her to act the same so def make sure thats not happing. but finally get her number wait 3 or 4 days call her go from there get a date set up all of that. doesnt even have to technoly be a date just be like you wanna get a bite to eat this weekend or go to the coffee shop or anything like that just to hang out.
 
A

Athens

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Alright, just to update you guys. I talked with her today and made a comment on how she's so quiet around me. I just told her "You're so quiet around me. It's so hard to keep a conversation going." Then I made a joke. For the rest of the day she tried to get my attention instead of the other way around.

If I knew it was going to be that easy, I wouldn't have made this topic. Thanks for all your advice though.
 
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