Lets say you have a chic thats possibly a good LTR option.
and things are going good.
she makes a promise..
a serious promise regarding your future together.
now lets say to begin with you didnt really like the promise because it was about a future together, but as you grow into the ltr you find security in this promise.
the detail:
We live in the same city but im hardly ever home i fly alot overseas for work.
she promised me that she can pull through this time apart.
if her folks found out she was dating me then they would say NO straight away.
her dad is a heart patient.
she introduced the idea of us moving to another country together.France.
not move in together as such but least move to another country where i can find a more settled job and tune down my constant flieng around.
that idea then became a full fledged plan, then a promise from her point that thats only way we could date, because her parents would say no to us.
i agreed to the promise, this festered up in us and became an expectation.
but last night i got a call:Hey i just had a fight with my mum and i told her everything about our plans out of anger, now she knows and she said i cant go...and shes going to tell my dad unless i say i wont go, if she tells my dad he'll get sicker than he already is.."
essentially it says: I cant move with you to france.
which to me reads:
I can make promises and not come through with them.
i have no faith in people that make promises and not come through, and i dont wanna change that for her.
is this something worth getting worked up over?
something worth dumping her over?
if you do recommend letting her go, then how should it be done?
i can find replacements over the weekend no problem, but i dont wanna hurt her too bad in letting her go.
shall i cut contact and treat her like a plate or an LTR when letting her go.
PS: the change of plans doesnt affect me alot because i didnt wanna move in with her, but i did wanna get to know her better.the only way it affects me is that she broke a promise she made..is that disrespectful?
and things are going good.
she makes a promise..
a serious promise regarding your future together.
now lets say to begin with you didnt really like the promise because it was about a future together, but as you grow into the ltr you find security in this promise.
the detail:
We live in the same city but im hardly ever home i fly alot overseas for work.
she promised me that she can pull through this time apart.
if her folks found out she was dating me then they would say NO straight away.
her dad is a heart patient.
she introduced the idea of us moving to another country together.France.
not move in together as such but least move to another country where i can find a more settled job and tune down my constant flieng around.
that idea then became a full fledged plan, then a promise from her point that thats only way we could date, because her parents would say no to us.
i agreed to the promise, this festered up in us and became an expectation.
but last night i got a call:Hey i just had a fight with my mum and i told her everything about our plans out of anger, now she knows and she said i cant go...and shes going to tell my dad unless i say i wont go, if she tells my dad he'll get sicker than he already is.."
essentially it says: I cant move with you to france.
which to me reads:
I can make promises and not come through with them.
i have no faith in people that make promises and not come through, and i dont wanna change that for her.
is this something worth getting worked up over?
something worth dumping her over?
if you do recommend letting her go, then how should it be done?
i can find replacements over the weekend no problem, but i dont wanna hurt her too bad in letting her go.
shall i cut contact and treat her like a plate or an LTR when letting her go.
PS: the change of plans doesnt affect me alot because i didnt wanna move in with her, but i did wanna get to know her better.the only way it affects me is that she broke a promise she made..is that disrespectful?