Break-up with Imaginary-OF "Friend"

[corrector]

(Posted on "Anything Else" as it's not a "real woman, in the sense of discussion of this board")

I sent a break-up letter to the OF Filipina girl, yesterday night, that I was subscribed continuously to since late January, and where we had this back and forth chit-chat since March 8th to recently.

Basically, I told her that, while I like her, that I don't like her working as a hor and I can't stay in contact and support someone who does that type of thing, and unless she stops that and become a real/good Christian that we should stop talking to each other. I unsubscribed to her (although a payment just went out like a few days ago, this is for the next payment). (The letter was not as harsh as stated on here, but it's the effect of what was said)

This is the first break-up that I don't feel any major ripple effect, apart from a cought and some irritability. However I'll have to see as the days go by how it plays with my mind that I may no longer have this lady's emotional support anymore, as I've unsubscribed and don't plan to log-in to OF for now (ie knowing her she'll probably send a diplomatic type of reply, if any at all). So far, there is like no problem and it's the most chill break-up I ever had. Just have this lingering cough, but I'm not sure if the cough is maintained by that.

I still have her number on my phone and she doesn't know how I look like (I never texted the number before so if I texted out of the blue then she would never know it's me/the same person she has been talking to), if I still wanted to visit her behind everyone's back....not that I would ever do that, but just saying. If I was really sincere about breaking up then I should have also sent a photo so she could recognize me if I ever pulled a stunt like that and not let me in the door. It would be like putting dynamite at the mouth of the cave to seal it shut. I still feel like a doorway is still open since she does not know how I look like and I can still present as a stranger out of the blue. However, I just don't want to send any photo of myself.

 

[corrector]

My dad is now sick and I might have to take him to the hospital. I would normally have chatted with this lady and talked to her about something like that. Now that I've "broken-up" and am not going on OnlyFans, I have can't really communicate with her anymore about these personal matters. Right now he's stable at home but is still coughing. (ie it's not like an instant communciation, but she has replied to all my messages). I'm staying up late in case he needs a ride to the hospital.

Probably bad luck happening because of that break-up that my dad has to get sick. He is helping change mom's diapers and all that and if he's not there to help then I'm really royally screwed. There is also another lady co-worker that I can text to who is aware of the situation here and offered to be my friend. I'll probably text her on WassUP if I want to reach out to someone but I hopefully should be fine so it won't come to that.

Guess I'm writing here instead of OF-girl, lol! Have not logged on OF since I made the first post.

 

[corrector]

False alarm. Everything is good. I also did not relapse and go back into OF. These were the type of things I liked writing to that other OF girl about.

 

[corrector]

What I was worried about post-break-up has happened. I had lustful thoughts about a married woman working from the other office because she was nice with me and sent a zoom message of a hug and that played with my mind. I went on her facebook page and liked some of her photos. I failed to mentally contain myself and that should never have happened. This is what happens when you take a buffer out of your mind is that you start getting more thirsty for women in your environment. That OF-girl was single so it didn't feel bad lusting with her, but now she's gone and I have to move on. Anyway, I hope I don't act up again like that again. Something tells me I won't. It's likely a glitch. Glitches happen when there is a new adjustment to another normal, but I should be fine now.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Do you really talk to a mental health professional? Like on a regular basis?

 

[corrector]

Do you really talk to a mental health professional? Like on a regular basis?

I was talking to her on a regular basis until I stopped. Now you can see I really needed to continue talking to her. You think I should reopen OnlyFans to see if she replied to the last break up message and, if so, see what her reply was? I thought straight cold turkey no contact was the way to go.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

C’mon man a licensed psychotherapist, not some online strumpet.

I was talking to her on a regular basis until I stopped. Now you can see I really needed to continue talking to her. You think I should reopen OnlyFans to see if she replied to the last break up message and, if so, see what her reply was? I thought straight cold turkey no contact was the way to go.

 

[corrector]

C’mon man a licensed psychotherapist, not some online strumpet.

No, not interested. In either.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

This is said with brotherly concern: you need to realize that you need help in that department. Your mentation is not normal; all these little contracts you make with (mostly online) women and yourself are imaginary constructs, and your reactions to things are way off in the weeds.

Realizing something needs work is the first step in resolving the issue.

 

[corrector]

This is said with brotherly concern: you need to realize that you need help in that department. Your mentation is not normal; all these little contracts you make with (mostly online) women and yourself are imaginary constructs, and your reactions to things are way off in the weeds.

Realizing something needs work is the first step in resolving the issue.

Only one woman was dealt with online in such a way. I see you admire my work. I am very surgical in my approach. If there is a second woman then I would listen. You are allowed to make mistakes right?

 

[Captain Rizz]

The question I have: why are you using OF in the first place?

 

[corrector]

The question I have: why are you using OF in the first place?

It appears to look for a friend. Must have just got a nice vibe from someone there and just wanted to be happy and feel like I have someone. Wanted to see how far a chit chat could go before hitting a wall.

 

[Captain Rizz]

You can get these things for free.

 

[corrector]

You can get these things for free.

I have these things for free too. But a woman can make emotional demands back at you, ask for favours, and you may not be in the mood to reciprocate back to her. There are boundaries so you can't talk too much, and many woman are "fly by nights" that they are there today and gone tommorow allot of times.

However, in this case, I wanted something more at arms length, where she can't make any emotional demands on me, ask for favours, it's all about what my mood is or feeling, and all I have to worry about is a subscription fee at the end of the month. I don't worry about when she's returning my email because I'm now a customer service ticket (although she has been relative punctual and courtous in that regard, showing concern of my feelings). It's a new experience having a friendship within an absolute business construct. You know she's dealing with other guys the same way so you can't feel bad, because it's just business after all. In fact, I felt bad if anything she was making way more money than I am more than she's seeing other guys. Go figure, I thought I'd feel bad about the other guys she's seeing. Totally inverted compared to "civvies".

The idea is variety. I don't believe anything is 100% free it's just a different type of payment. She doesn't even know how I look like and none of us care about that. I provide the money (subscription fee), she provides the attention at a cost cheaper than Netflix. In fact, having a subscription with her, provided more emotional stimulation than all of streaming services I probably have combined and has never said ONE mean thing to me, or suggested I see a shrink. It turns out even dealing with a woman that way is better than watching TV shows/movies most of the time (which I do not by the way as I don't have time for it. The emotional distraction generated by a subscription to her consumed allot of time in its own right. I would end up watching music videos rather than watching TV Shows or movies to deal with some aspects of her after communicating with her -- which are all outside of regular subscriptions). I can't remember any show or movie I was into as much as her in terms of subscription costs and think I got a good return on the subscription.

(Not intended to start a religious discussion but is necessary for disclosure to provide context into my mind: Either way, the religious issues trumph all other considerations. At the end of the day, Jesus is my Friend of Friends and He has the last say as to who will be my friend or who will not be my friend. He decided she can not be my friend and told my mother and I obeyed the Lord's leading and unsubscribed to my friendship with her. Again it's supposed to be a purely business decision that is lead by the Lord. Being unequally yoked together with an unbeliever is against my religion, and that includes business dealings, even if a constructive friendship arrangement within the business construct. Mom did mention the feeling of a presence of pure demonic evil associated with what that lady is doing behind the scenes...a diabolical type of mischief in her words, and called her "too nasty". )

 

[Bokanovsky]

This is said with brotherly concern: you need to realize that you need help in that department. Your mentation is not normal; all these little contracts you make with (mostly online) women and yourself are imaginary constructs, and your reactions to things are way off in the weeds.

Realizing something needs work is the first step in resolving the issue.

Are you serious? You've been a Mod for how long now? And you still can't spot an obvious troll?

 

[corrector]

Are you serious? You've been a Mod for how long now? And you still can't spot an obvious troll?

Yet, he was chosen to be the moderator and you were not. It turns out people like you who like to pick fights with other people never seem to get that job.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Yet, he was chosen to be the moderator and you were not. It turns out people like you who like to pick fights with other people never seem to get that job.

I never applied for that "job" and have zero interest in holding it. You can go back to trolling now. Are you still whacking off in the back of your mom's car these days?

 

[corrector]

I never applied for that "job" and have zero interest in holding it. You can go back to trolling now. Are you still whacking off in the back of your mom's car these days?

Sure you didn't. Sour grapes much?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Not everybody wants to be a moderator. I've been one on an adventure motorcycle forum (they asked me) but after a year I stepped out again. Moderator work is under appreciated and most of the time your patience with some members will run thin.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

At the end of the day, Jesus is my Friend of Friends and He has the last say as to who will be my friend or who will not be my friend. He decided she can not be my friend and told my mother and I obeyed the Lord's leading and unsubscribed to my friendship with her.

The snitch. Why can he hang out with prostitutes and you can't? Must be his self-restraint...