Break down walls with LJBF?

[becker]

Hey guys, I've just dated a girl who I treated like a friend more than a possible love interest. I'm not sure if she treated our first meeting together as a date, but I expected to do something fun with her, but she changed the plans and we ended up just going for dinner. I didn't want to take things to any other level until I got to know her better. She seemed like a cool gal and I spoke to her a lot on the phone prior to our meeting, just keeping things humorous, which she seemed to like.

Anyways, I think this girl and I can be good friends, but I'm not sure if she would make a good girlfriend, so I'm not pursuing that. I know this is a strange situation, but I think she feels that I'm pursuing her, and I don't know how to approach this. What I'm expecting might happen is that she might see this and start running from something that she has no reason to run from. I'm thinking that if I just LJBF her, it would fix everything, but if she was interested in me all along, that might screw up the friendship.

 

[Cremasta]

It seems like you have already LJBF'd her. If you are not really concerned about whether or not you two end up together, just continue having fun with her. There's no point in 'bringing things out in the open'.

LOL! You'd be letting her take you down the "Where do you think this relationship is going" path without even opening her mouth.

Go back to basics on this one:

Have fun
Don't chase her all the time or be at her beck and call
Don't tell her "What you are really thinking"

Cheers

 

[becker]

The problem with this is that despite the fact that I treated her more like a friend, it's difficult to do stuff with her because I'm not sure if she's interpreting my suggestions that we hang out as an attempt to date her on a more serious level. Not sure how interested she is in me, and if she is not, then she may not be too keen on doing anything with me alone unless we just establish right off the bat that we're friends.

Not sure if this girl is playing hard to get or what. I've been pretty indifferent the whole time with her. I think the problem is that I'm a mellow guy who doesn't make a big deal out of things. This might sometimes come off as supplicating. For example, a girl will tell me "let's do this" and I'll say fine, no problem. I actually don't have any problem with it, and it almost seems like they expect you to have a problem with it sometimes, and if you don't, then it's viewed as something negative in their minds (wussy, etc. behavior). Lame.

 

[JohnJones]

Maybe ask her to be your wing some night?

Seriously, if you only want her as a friend unless there is a good diligence report later on, ask her to hang out in a group, don't ask her to do to many things and don't try to kiss her.

It's funny how unpredictible women can be: how many posts per month are there where some DJ's g/f is having lunch with some guy but she is "positive" that he is only a friend, whereas when its us asking women to do things, they assume we have ill intentions.

 

[Recluce]

there's nothing wrong with being friends with a woman. if you only want to be friends then just start dropping hints about it. say stuff like,"you know...its nice to have a friend like you"

there's only one problem though. she'll want to know why you only want to be friends and not in a relationship with her, which can attract her to you even more. if you honestly just want to be friends and don't ever plan on moving her up to a girlfriend, then just start acting like an AFC around her... it works.