Does'nt matter who I am with, but when conversating with some one, I have this horrible habbit of swing the conversation so I can brag a little about myself. Recently I've tried not to do that, but then I have nothing to talk about. Then looking back, I'll realize what I said and what I should have said. How can I keep a conversation going without talking about myself? This applies to any person I'm talking to.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Bragging about yourself.
- Thread starter Nigma
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Naked_Elephant
Don Juan
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alright
its good you've realised that, it might be quite awkward or annoying for people to listen to you if that's true.
break it as you would any other bad habit. try to make a conscious effort not to do it, until it becomes natural, part of you.
Just let go. Relax, if you have nothing to say, simply stay silent. You don't have to talk. You'll see how words and things to say just pop into mind. Its no skill, it will come naturally.
Good luck
its good you've realised that, it might be quite awkward or annoying for people to listen to you if that's true.
break it as you would any other bad habit. try to make a conscious effort not to do it, until it becomes natural, part of you.
Just let go. Relax, if you have nothing to say, simply stay silent. You don't have to talk. You'll see how words and things to say just pop into mind. Its no skill, it will come naturally.
Good luck
Yep, that's hard to stop. And annoying when you can't, btw.
I don't know how to stop that, it's decreased naturally recently as I've become better with the bootcamp.
Bragging = you want people to see you in a certain way so they respect you more.
Reality = they don't remember your boasts after a week, and just see you the way you are. I think when you don't HAVE to brag, even though you COULD, that's when you're the man.
I brag too much. In fact, I used to make up stories to people - not proud of it, but it was a habit. Even small figures of true events I would change, just to make myself seem better.
How's your game? Maybe if that improved, it could help. Or save your bragging for internet bragging, go on myspace or get a blog or a journal, or own website, and tell everyone what a badass you think you are. Although that would take time away from you having fun.
I don't know how to stop that, it's decreased naturally recently as I've become better with the bootcamp.
Bragging = you want people to see you in a certain way so they respect you more.
Reality = they don't remember your boasts after a week, and just see you the way you are. I think when you don't HAVE to brag, even though you COULD, that's when you're the man.
I brag too much. In fact, I used to make up stories to people - not proud of it, but it was a habit. Even small figures of true events I would change, just to make myself seem better.
How's your game? Maybe if that improved, it could help. Or save your bragging for internet bragging, go on myspace or get a blog or a journal, or own website, and tell everyone what a badass you think you are. Although that would take time away from you having fun.
Player_Supreme
Banned
1. Try talking about just them. Take an active interest in the other persons life. A real interest.
2. Real men brag about themselves. AFC's and RAFC's hate braggers. But there is a difference. Talking about how great you are is not the way. Talking about shyt that you've done is.
2. Real men brag about themselves. AFC's and RAFC's hate braggers. But there is a difference. Talking about how great you are is not the way. Talking about shyt that you've done is.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
MrCode
Senior Don Juan
Player_Supreme has some good advice. Listen to it.
Also when it comes to having people respect or awe you, actions speak way louder than words.
Also when it comes to having people respect or awe you, actions speak way louder than words.
I like Naked Elephants answer the most. I disagree with the guys that suggest "MAKE HER THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION" that's like putting her on the spot. There is NOTHING wrong about talking about yourself.. you can tell her you made some awesome italian last night, you can tell her you volunteer, or your work is having some new project to be worked on. There's NOTHING WRONG about talking about yourself. If she's interested she'll ask further questions.
Geez I'd hate to have a conversation with a girl that kept asking me questions all the time and never said anything about herself.
Geez I'd hate to have a conversation with a girl that kept asking me questions all the time and never said anything about herself.
The trick with this tactic is in hiding or disguising the fact that you're trying to impress her... I have had I don't know how many women tell me this about men. It is really an impression management tactic known as 'self-promotion', which seeks the perception of competence, value, worth, or skill in some form in the eyes of a target audience. It is, however, accompanied by the 'self-promoter's paradox', which is the notion that if one is objectively 'good', talented, or whatever, then data are readily available to support that view, and thus drawing attention to one's own abilities is a sign of arrogance, insecurity, or a lack of personal confidence - and a negative rather than positive impression is the result. Successful self-promoters therefore rely on sublety and indirectness (hints, allusions) to achieve their social goals without making their motives so obvious/transparent. As Player Supreme basically noted, being factual rather than evaluative is also of benefit: e.g., stating "I graduated first in my class" (if true) is a fact; stating that you were the "brightest student" , "smartest student", or "best student" sounds a bit more evaluative and thus self-aggrandizing.
Bragging about yourself is something ALL charismatic people and good leaders do. It is a fine art to develop and will further u in your social life, ur career, in everything. There is some good advice on this thread on how to do it without coming accross as totally conceited.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I agree to a point. Talking about what you've done is fine as long as it is part of the conversation. Nigma said that he swings the conversation to topics about himself. That gets old really quick, it's not engaging it just "Hey everyone, stop what you are doing and look at me over here on this pedistal!!!"
Nigma, my guess is that you have a habit of comparing yourself to other people and you can't help but try to one up them. If that is the case, try toning down your need for proving yourself. What do you have to prove? Other than yourself, who needs proof?
Just something to consider...
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
Tha Realnezz
Master Don Juan
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- Sep 12, 2004
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Hoes don't like being put on the spot they like to ramble and be lsitened to but they don't like being interrogated.That's interpetrated by them as boring or lacking game.You gotta run your trap sometimes and engage them (lead) in the convo's.