Does'nt matter who I am with, but when conversating with some one, I have this horrible habbit of swing the conversation so I can brag a little about myself. Recently I've tried not to do that, but then I have nothing to talk about. Then looking back, I'll realize what I said and what I should have said. How can I keep a conversation going without talking about myself? This applies to any person I'm talking to.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Bragging about yourself.
- Thread starter Nigma
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Naked_Elephant
Don Juan
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alright
its good you've realised that, it might be quite awkward or annoying for people to listen to you if that's true.
break it as you would any other bad habit. try to make a conscious effort not to do it, until it becomes natural, part of you.
Just let go. Relax, if you have nothing to say, simply stay silent. You don't have to talk. You'll see how words and things to say just pop into mind. Its no skill, it will come naturally.
Good luck
its good you've realised that, it might be quite awkward or annoying for people to listen to you if that's true.
break it as you would any other bad habit. try to make a conscious effort not to do it, until it becomes natural, part of you.
Just let go. Relax, if you have nothing to say, simply stay silent. You don't have to talk. You'll see how words and things to say just pop into mind. Its no skill, it will come naturally.
Good luck
Yep, that's hard to stop. And annoying when you can't, btw.
I don't know how to stop that, it's decreased naturally recently as I've become better with the bootcamp.
Bragging = you want people to see you in a certain way so they respect you more.
Reality = they don't remember your boasts after a week, and just see you the way you are. I think when you don't HAVE to brag, even though you COULD, that's when you're the man.
I brag too much. In fact, I used to make up stories to people - not proud of it, but it was a habit. Even small figures of true events I would change, just to make myself seem better.
How's your game? Maybe if that improved, it could help. Or save your bragging for internet bragging, go on myspace or get a blog or a journal, or own website, and tell everyone what a badass you think you are. Although that would take time away from you having fun.
I don't know how to stop that, it's decreased naturally recently as I've become better with the bootcamp.
Bragging = you want people to see you in a certain way so they respect you more.
Reality = they don't remember your boasts after a week, and just see you the way you are. I think when you don't HAVE to brag, even though you COULD, that's when you're the man.
I brag too much. In fact, I used to make up stories to people - not proud of it, but it was a habit. Even small figures of true events I would change, just to make myself seem better.
How's your game? Maybe if that improved, it could help. Or save your bragging for internet bragging, go on myspace or get a blog or a journal, or own website, and tell everyone what a badass you think you are. Although that would take time away from you having fun.
Player_Supreme
Banned
1. Try talking about just them. Take an active interest in the other persons life. A real interest.
2. Real men brag about themselves. AFC's and RAFC's hate braggers. But there is a difference. Talking about how great you are is not the way. Talking about shyt that you've done is.
2. Real men brag about themselves. AFC's and RAFC's hate braggers. But there is a difference. Talking about how great you are is not the way. Talking about shyt that you've done is.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
MrCode
Senior Don Juan
Player_Supreme has some good advice. Listen to it.
Also when it comes to having people respect or awe you, actions speak way louder than words.
Also when it comes to having people respect or awe you, actions speak way louder than words.
I like Naked Elephants answer the most. I disagree with the guys that suggest "MAKE HER THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION" that's like putting her on the spot. There is NOTHING wrong about talking about yourself.. you can tell her you made some awesome italian last night, you can tell her you volunteer, or your work is having some new project to be worked on. There's NOTHING WRONG about talking about yourself. If she's interested she'll ask further questions.
Geez I'd hate to have a conversation with a girl that kept asking me questions all the time and never said anything about herself.
Geez I'd hate to have a conversation with a girl that kept asking me questions all the time and never said anything about herself.
The trick with this tactic is in hiding or disguising the fact that you're trying to impress her... I have had I don't know how many women tell me this about men. It is really an impression management tactic known as 'self-promotion', which seeks the perception of competence, value, worth, or skill in some form in the eyes of a target audience. It is, however, accompanied by the 'self-promoter's paradox', which is the notion that if one is objectively 'good', talented, or whatever, then data are readily available to support that view, and thus drawing attention to one's own abilities is a sign of arrogance, insecurity, or a lack of personal confidence - and a negative rather than positive impression is the result. Successful self-promoters therefore rely on sublety and indirectness (hints, allusions) to achieve their social goals without making their motives so obvious/transparent. As Player Supreme basically noted, being factual rather than evaluative is also of benefit: e.g., stating "I graduated first in my class" (if true) is a fact; stating that you were the "brightest student" , "smartest student", or "best student" sounds a bit more evaluative and thus self-aggrandizing.
Bragging about yourself is something ALL charismatic people and good leaders do. It is a fine art to develop and will further u in your social life, ur career, in everything. There is some good advice on this thread on how to do it without coming accross as totally conceited.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I agree to a point. Talking about what you've done is fine as long as it is part of the conversation. Nigma said that he swings the conversation to topics about himself. That gets old really quick, it's not engaging it just "Hey everyone, stop what you are doing and look at me over here on this pedistal!!!"
Nigma, my guess is that you have a habit of comparing yourself to other people and you can't help but try to one up them. If that is the case, try toning down your need for proving yourself. What do you have to prove? Other than yourself, who needs proof?
Just something to consider...
“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”
You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.
I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.
Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.
These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.
Tha Realnezz
Master Don Juan
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Hoes don't like being put on the spot they like to ramble and be lsitened to but they don't like being interrogated.That's interpetrated by them as boring or lacking game.You gotta run your trap sometimes and engage them (lead) in the convo's.