BPDs and down dating

[QuadDeuces]

So I was bored and decided to unblock my ex from FB after 5 months NC (still NC actually, her FB is public.).
She has a new boyfriend, skinny dude, dwarf, smoker with a kid. As far as I can tell not very highly educated.

And theyre "so in love, he's the best boyfriend ever" He's taking her out to dinner everyday and he is picking her up from work everyday (typical AFC) and everybody on FB must know they had a hot weekend together. kind of puking to see, though pretty funny.

But what is it with all these BPD's NPD's dating ugly dudes?
She's hot enough and could easily pull buffed up beach boys if she wants, but she hooks up with AFCs.

I'm over her, but it was just an interesting case study.

 

[iamnobody]

Usually a BPD will date uglier dudes due to low self esteem issues.

 

[casaanova]

He's either stoically alpha, has enough trust fund to take her out every time wants it, or he's a typical AFC she's just using for her relationship ego while she bangs hot guys on the side. There's always a catch when it comes to women in their 20s. Always.

 

[casaanova]

This is assuming she didn't just slut it up in those 5 months, to the point where she hit the wall number-wise and earned a reputation. If that was the case, then she's getting whatever she can get

 

[QuadDeuces]

Oh shes been slutting up alright, did a little sherlocking and found dozens of pics with her partying and teasing up dudes, certain dudes pretty Alpha-ish looking. But Id be suprised if she didnt pound away in that time.

I on the other hand layed 2 other women, but nothing solids, need to spin up again.

 

[Bible_Belt]

A BPD ex on facebook will be hilarious over time. One month, she'll be going on and on that she has found the best man ever. Then next month, she will blabbing about how he is the worst guy in the world. Then that process will repeat itself, over and over again.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Somehow I do feel a bit disappointed she never tried to hoover me.

I remember the speech she gave, she was perfect I was bad guy. "I want to break up with you, its always about you, I always have to listen to you, oh but I do want to always remain in your life"

I said this: "sorry I dont do friendzones" took my phine out of my pocket and blocked her FB on the spot.

She rang a few times but I didnt awnswer and sent a few texts I didnt reply, but she never came back pleading, begging asking for second chance.

To be honest that felt a bit disappointing. Not that I would give her a second chance though.

 

[Bible_Belt]

If you want to fvck her again, play up the drama that it is so sad that the two of you could not end up together. If you were to profess your undying eternal love to her, fvck the hell out of her, and then just disappear, that would make you the perfect man in her eyes.

 

[Valentino14]

It is easier to cheat on the ugly dudes and the AFC's to treat them like sh1t. They know they have something over them and its hard for the ugly AFC dudes to leave them because they have a hot girl no matter how they're being treated. My friend's BPD ex has been with two ugly ass guys since she dumped him.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Stalked my exes FB again, Im such a cvnt.
Apparently she is getting married to that guy she met 6 weeks ago, they already got both their names tattooed on eachother saw pics. Im disgusted.

Seriously why am I feeling gutted over such a psycho piece of worthless impulsive trash?
Whats wrong with me?

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Because they can have these guys heart, mind, and soul. They're too insecure to deal with the risk of getting cheated on by a worthy mate. Also if they're lusting after a better looking/more alpha guy they can always cheat.

Now this ^^ comment is SO true. Well said.

 

[Die Hard]

Stalked my exes FB again, Im such a cvnt.
Apparently she is getting married to that guy she met 6 weeks ago, they already got their names tattooed on eachother saw pics. Im disgusted.

Seriously why am I feeling gutted over such a psycho piece of worthless impulsive trash?
Whats wrong with me?

Trust me, pal. That marriage is gonna crash down hard and fast... Miserable people tend to attract each other and often enter some sort of mutual fantasy, both allowing each other to live on a dream.They both pretend that they are the perfect couple. In fact, they are far from it but because they both believe it, they keep reinforcing the idea within each other.

It's just a case of the wish being father to the thought. One person can easily convince himself of things that are untrue, but when two people mutually reinforce that fantasy, the self deception becomes even stronger... They both want to fill that feeling of emptiness that they experienced all their lives, and they enter a sort of silent agreement to live out a 'perfect couple' fantasy where that emptiness gets filled up.

Inevitably, the bubble pops and they come crashing down hard from their fantasy world into reality.

So nothing to feel gutted about, my friend!

 

[QuadDeuces]

Yeah I know man.

Since my experiences with these toxic women Ive devoured every literature ever published on borderline narcissism and psychopathy. Still the rabbit hole on these disorders is so deep you have to be careful not to lose your own grip on reality. Even months afterwards where other women have come and gone these Sirens still can have a toxic spell on your soul I thought I was over it and digested everything and my head does the math adding up that she is a looney. Still a voice back in my head says "Maybe Ive been wrong all along and Im the crazy one"

 

[coochieman]

So I was bored...

...I'm over her, but it was just an interesting case study.

did a little sherlocking...

Somehow I do feel a bit disappointed...

...To be honest that felt a bit disappointing. Not that I would give her a second chance though.

Stalked my exes FB again, Im such a cvnt.

...Seriously why am I feeling gutted over such a psycho piece of worthless impulsive trash?
Whats wrong with me?

'ts a shame.:box:

 

[j0504s]

This guy prob. whorships here (puts her on a pedastle) Plus they always want someone to co-sign there BS. With more alpha dudes there sh1t wont fly, and they cant live in the fanatsy world they want to live in. This guy prob validates her every move, right or wrong.

 

[Die Hard]

Yeah I know man.

Since my experiences with these toxic women Ive devoured every literature ever published on borderline narcissism and psychopathy. Still the rabbit hole on these disorders is so deep you have to be careful not to lose your own grip on reality. Even months afterwards where other women have come and gone these Sirens still can have a toxic spell on your soul I thought I was over it and digested everything and my head does the math adding up that she is a looney. Still a voice back in my head says "Maybe Ive been wrong all along and Im the crazy one"

Yeah, that's just part of the game. It's almost 5 months since I broke up with my BPD, but thoughts about her still keep popping up. And yes, you keep going over it all, wondering if there was anything you should've done differently, like you could've somehow prevented things from spiraling out of control, like you could've somehow contained the situation and could've prevented her disorder from spoiling the relationship.

But everytime you go through this thought process and reach the conclusion that the breakup was inevitable, the tendency to go through that thought process becomes weaker. Lately, I'm starting to think of my ex more and more as "just somebody that I used to know" (like the Gotye song.)


By the way, I don't live that far from Amsterdam, you and me should go sarging together sometime this summer! (als het lekker weer is en ze allemaal korte rokjes dragen, heheh)

 

[QuadDeuces]

Another Dutchman haha!
I currently live in Sydney though, summers here last about 10 months, short skirts all around.
I let you know when Im back home!

 

[Larry Lurex]

let me properly dissect the gist of this story:

1. Chances are, girl is not BPD. BPDs I know don't publish photos of their boyfriends on FB.
2. Girl shot down OP's ego.
3. Girl is attracted to someone whose outward looks seemed inferior to OP.
4. OP gets butthurt cos he hasn't moved on.

OP is probably a AFC10 lookswise, but probably needs to work more on his inner values? Come on, you're even stalking her on facebook. How sad is that? A DJ lets go and not give a fvck.

Don't blame BPD. I was there myself, learned my lesson: scratch the bad and keep the good. And she did teach me a lot about life. If you didn't learn from the BPD relationship, you really need to re-evaluate yourself and open your mind and heart to learning.

Let me qualify... I'm short, dark and not particularly handsome, yet I have no problems pulling women WAY taller or hotter than me.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Sure Ive got issues too, that is my main concern.
I think Ive got narcissistic tendencies and thats the reason I had (and apparently still do) have a hard time coping being rejected devalued and replaced. Guess my ego bruised a little.
Though I never loved her, I did felt butthurt I couldnt get any (narcissistic maybe?) validation.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Sure Ive got issues too, that is my main concern.
I think Ive got narcissistic tendencies and thats the reason I had (and apparently still do) have a hard time coping being rejected devalued and replaced. Guess my ego bruised a little.
Though I never loved her, I did felt butthurt I couldnt get any (narcissistic maybe?) validation.

Saw your thread yesterday and forgot to reply.

I knew it!

You feel like you are the "prize" and she is "below" you so she should be "lucky" to have you.

You see the new dude and think he's "below" you.

You got pissed that two people who are "below" you found "success" and are getting married. (Maybe due to being brainwashed that marriage and being "completed" by someone is the "answer" in life?) Not to a nutjob like the chick you dated.

You need to think of it this way.

Would YOU want to be in the place of that new dude in a tux especially knowing what you know about this chick??

Chicks getting married after SIX weeks? Tattoos of each others names on each other? LMFAO!

You should be happy as a pig in sh1t it isn't you!

I couldn't care less if they both had a great marriage and lived happily ever after. I'd be thanking God I didn't end up with a screwed up chick.

Let that dude be the fall guy.

You just need to LEARN from the past experience and grow from it not take it as an ego blow because some nutty chick and her 6week boyfriend got tattoos of each others names and are getting married.

If she truly is as messed up as you say..Dude will be in for some serious problems especially wifing up the chick, possibly having kids, tattoo removal and God knows what else.

Count your blessings! Learn, move on and grow from the experience.