Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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BPD waif

reptilla2000

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was I just in a relationship with a waif?

I was hurt and really confused after a 4 month relationship and wondered if anybody could tell me if this sound like BPD? I met a girl online, I wouldn't usually but anyway she stayed near me. She gave me her number straight away and wanted me to pick her up from town and take her home, I did not do this. I went over to her house a couple of days later and she seemed nice so we met again and I started staying at hers and sleeping together.

She had just left her ex a few months ago, who she had a very young daughter with and I was told he (the ex) was violent and gets violent etc.Not sure I believe this now though as I sort of know who is he. I of course thought I am one of the good guys and got sucked in.

After a couple of weeks we were in bed 1 morning and she came out with am I your girlfriend, so i said ok because everything seemed good. for the months we were together this girl made me feel so special, but the emotions seemed childish, with the constant texting everyday.


I got messages like I think I love you and I will have you loving me soon boyfriend,eventually i said it back, but didn't know if i meant it. After the few months it seemed she was acting strange,pretending she had not received my messages or calls, even though her phone was ringing. she always seemed to be so nice, but 1 morning i said something about my top I think and she was like I don't care and I thought where did that come from.

Then i get a text about wanting a serious relationship with me and not wanting someone who will get bored and leave me,so i agreed and said I liked her a lot. Anyway 1 night about a week later she broke up with me through a text with some story about family issues, which she always discussed with me after only knowing her a few weeks. Also told me she had wish she had met me before her ex,implying she wished she had the kid with me.

It was something like I need to let go, I love you, but blood comes first, I cant see you again because i will take everything back.I picked her up 2 days later from somewhere and she was like not everything is about me and you and i said what was that about? and she said don't start that s##t let me out the car,then we started holding hands,strange, i was also at her house after and she is laughing and joking,flirting and touching like nothing happened after breaking up with me.

I was devastated and thought how does this affect me? So she keeps contacting me and eventually I go to her house again and she says she has too much responsibility and cant have me hanging on a shoe string, seemed reasonable enough.

I gave her a lift home a couple of days after But she continued to play games for 2 months after phoning me about ridiculous stuff and speaking to me about her ex she has a kid with said she hates him and kicked him out a few months before we got together and complaining about her family problems.

I said why are you still talking to me about this stuff after 2 months and she said I thought you were always good talk to, but obviously i was wrong and i could have done without you going on at me about us during this difficult time,then she thought it was a good idea to tell me she had a guy over at the weekend,but nothing happened.

I was like why the f##k would you tell me that? I told her to delete my number in the end which she said she had done several times but had not. contact has stopped now, because I had enough and realised stuff was being exaggerated,so I raged basically. Anyway she said say at one point I cant give you what you want, think what you want from me.

Also I received messages during the relationship about her crying in bed and also told me she was not right and needed help and that she was weird. she also did binge eat chocolate and stuff and claimed she didn't drink much but got smashed everyday saturday and admitted drink driving a lot, which I though was totally against her character When I asked her about it, she was like just leave it.

There was also a past suicide attempt. I know I should not go around trying to diagnose people and others can't without proper evaluation. But does this seem normal, it really hurt me bad compared to any other girl and 4 months seemed like years in this relationship. Also said to me 1 day, that I had not seen her bad side and I had slept with her a month after it and she was still saying I love you and I said,but you want someone else and she said no I don't, but things cant change,I need to let go. sorry the post is a bit of mess!

Also as it progressed it became all about her problems, money,family etc.
She played the victim for 2 months after the breakup and I believed it all, thought I was helping her...feel like a mug now, I am still suffering months after this, I thought this girl was my soulmate after a month.
Worst thing is, I don't want her back really, I am just addicted in a bad way.
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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reptilla2000

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I finally have, got sucked into games for months after it though..I was too soft!
 

reptilla2000

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Thanks, pretty sure I will know the signs the next time. They get deep inside your head if you let them. I will not let that happen again anyway. I will put it down as a good learning experience.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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reptilla2000

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Can I ask, is it normal to miss the all the drama in a crazy way? Anybody else, was this a waif?
 
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Pimp-sicle

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reptilla2000 said:
Can I ask, is it normal to miss the all the drama in a crazy way? Anybody else, was this a waif?

Yes and the reason you miss it is you likely have unresolved issues from your childhood that she woke up deep inside you.

Figure out your issues and you will have a better defense system against women with BPD.





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