"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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BPD waif

reptilla2000

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was I just in a relationship with a waif?

I was hurt and really confused after a 4 month relationship and wondered if anybody could tell me if this sound like BPD? I met a girl online, I wouldn't usually but anyway she stayed near me. She gave me her number straight away and wanted me to pick her up from town and take her home, I did not do this. I went over to her house a couple of days later and she seemed nice so we met again and I started staying at hers and sleeping together.

She had just left her ex a few months ago, who she had a very young daughter with and I was told he (the ex) was violent and gets violent etc.Not sure I believe this now though as I sort of know who is he. I of course thought I am one of the good guys and got sucked in.

After a couple of weeks we were in bed 1 morning and she came out with am I your girlfriend, so i said ok because everything seemed good. for the months we were together this girl made me feel so special, but the emotions seemed childish, with the constant texting everyday.


I got messages like I think I love you and I will have you loving me soon boyfriend,eventually i said it back, but didn't know if i meant it. After the few months it seemed she was acting strange,pretending she had not received my messages or calls, even though her phone was ringing. she always seemed to be so nice, but 1 morning i said something about my top I think and she was like I don't care and I thought where did that come from.

Then i get a text about wanting a serious relationship with me and not wanting someone who will get bored and leave me,so i agreed and said I liked her a lot. Anyway 1 night about a week later she broke up with me through a text with some story about family issues, which she always discussed with me after only knowing her a few weeks. Also told me she had wish she had met me before her ex,implying she wished she had the kid with me.

It was something like I need to let go, I love you, but blood comes first, I cant see you again because i will take everything back.I picked her up 2 days later from somewhere and she was like not everything is about me and you and i said what was that about? and she said don't start that s##t let me out the car,then we started holding hands,strange, i was also at her house after and she is laughing and joking,flirting and touching like nothing happened after breaking up with me.

I was devastated and thought how does this affect me? So she keeps contacting me and eventually I go to her house again and she says she has too much responsibility and cant have me hanging on a shoe string, seemed reasonable enough.

I gave her a lift home a couple of days after But she continued to play games for 2 months after phoning me about ridiculous stuff and speaking to me about her ex she has a kid with said she hates him and kicked him out a few months before we got together and complaining about her family problems.

I said why are you still talking to me about this stuff after 2 months and she said I thought you were always good talk to, but obviously i was wrong and i could have done without you going on at me about us during this difficult time,then she thought it was a good idea to tell me she had a guy over at the weekend,but nothing happened.

I was like why the f##k would you tell me that? I told her to delete my number in the end which she said she had done several times but had not. contact has stopped now, because I had enough and realised stuff was being exaggerated,so I raged basically. Anyway she said say at one point I cant give you what you want, think what you want from me.

Also I received messages during the relationship about her crying in bed and also told me she was not right and needed help and that she was weird. she also did binge eat chocolate and stuff and claimed she didn't drink much but got smashed everyday saturday and admitted drink driving a lot, which I though was totally against her character When I asked her about it, she was like just leave it.

There was also a past suicide attempt. I know I should not go around trying to diagnose people and others can't without proper evaluation. But does this seem normal, it really hurt me bad compared to any other girl and 4 months seemed like years in this relationship. Also said to me 1 day, that I had not seen her bad side and I had slept with her a month after it and she was still saying I love you and I said,but you want someone else and she said no I don't, but things cant change,I need to let go. sorry the post is a bit of mess!

Also as it progressed it became all about her problems, money,family etc.
She played the victim for 2 months after the breakup and I believed it all, thought I was helping her...feel like a mug now, I am still suffering months after this, I thought this girl was my soulmate after a month.
Worst thing is, I don't want her back really, I am just addicted in a bad way.
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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reptilla2000

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I finally have, got sucked into games for months after it though..I was too soft!
 

reptilla2000

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Thanks, pretty sure I will know the signs the next time. They get deep inside your head if you let them. I will not let that happen again anyway. I will put it down as a good learning experience.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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reptilla2000

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Can I ask, is it normal to miss the all the drama in a crazy way? Anybody else, was this a waif?
 
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Pimp-sicle

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reptilla2000 said:
Can I ask, is it normal to miss the all the drama in a crazy way? Anybody else, was this a waif?

Yes and the reason you miss it is you likely have unresolved issues from your childhood that she woke up deep inside you.

Figure out your issues and you will have a better defense system against women with BPD.





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