I'm wondering if my ex might have had bpd tendencies but seeing as she was my first real relationship I can't be sure as i've nothing to judge her against.
I'll run through some of the things I think might make her a candidate:
On our first date she was in a petrol station buying cigs, when she got back in the taxi she said some guy hit on her and she told him her boyfriend (me) was in the car.
She was all over me and I could do nothing wrong in the first few months. Was extremely easy to get on with and no resistance to things I'd ask her to do.
She has a thing about food...she won't eat meat but if it's unrecognisable she'll eat it. Very, very picky about what she'll eat...on our 3rd date we went out for a roast dinner and she sat there watching me eat a full meal while she had a glass of wine because there was nothing she wanted.
She got blindingly drunk every single night I was with her and usually ended up falling asleep on me on the sofa. Then in the morning she'd be like a different person and wouldn't even hug me or kiss me properly.
After a few months she started picking fights with me for no reason. One minute she'd be cuddled up to me the next she'd say: (example) "you never get excited about anything" when we were just sat there watching a film...I'd ask her what she means and she would just repeat it over and over while looking at me like I'd just shat on the carpet.
She would say things that made absolutely no sense and didn't fit into anything we were doing while drunk.
She told me she'd love to see me in a an argument because i'm too laid back.
She told me things couldn't work between us unless I was harder on her and if not then she'd walk all over me (was crying while telling me this)
Nearly every time I'd see her she'd end up telling me it's not working out and then look at me to try and win her round again and make her feel ok. She told me i had no fight in me one time and said just sleep on the sofa and leave in the morning...this is after no argument at all she was just sat there looking at me.
If I ignored her attempts at getting attention sometimes she'd just roll over and start crying so I could hear her whimpering.
She would constantly flirt with other guys wether it be on facebook or on the dating site I met her on (which is the reason I finally broke up with her). When I confronted her about it she said "so I talk to guys on there big deal."
She never admits responsibility for her actions...though she did used to admit she had mood swings and said it wasn't fair on me...she said "maybe you should find someone who will treat you better"
Refused to go to the doctors about her smear test that showed abnormal results because she was sure she had cancer so didn't want it to be confirmed in her mind. she'd rather just ignore it.
We stayed up all night with me telling her she needed to do it but she would promise me one minute then the next say she wasn't going.
On new years eve she told me things aren't going to work out because she was too old for me and started crying. she wouldn't listen to anything I said until I started crying myself then she did a 180 and hugged me and said she was sorry for being silly and after that she was all over me like when we first started going out. She would just sit there in bed staring at me wide-eyed smiling.
She'd constantly tell me her back is hurting and how she feels like she's falling apart to try get sympathy from me.
Her dad lives just a couple miles away but her and her siblings haven't seen him in 10 years. I didn't ask why.
Does any of this sound familiar to you guys who have experience with an actual bpd?
Thanks
I'll run through some of the things I think might make her a candidate:
On our first date she was in a petrol station buying cigs, when she got back in the taxi she said some guy hit on her and she told him her boyfriend (me) was in the car.
She was all over me and I could do nothing wrong in the first few months. Was extremely easy to get on with and no resistance to things I'd ask her to do.
She has a thing about food...she won't eat meat but if it's unrecognisable she'll eat it. Very, very picky about what she'll eat...on our 3rd date we went out for a roast dinner and she sat there watching me eat a full meal while she had a glass of wine because there was nothing she wanted.
She got blindingly drunk every single night I was with her and usually ended up falling asleep on me on the sofa. Then in the morning she'd be like a different person and wouldn't even hug me or kiss me properly.
After a few months she started picking fights with me for no reason. One minute she'd be cuddled up to me the next she'd say: (example) "you never get excited about anything" when we were just sat there watching a film...I'd ask her what she means and she would just repeat it over and over while looking at me like I'd just shat on the carpet.
She would say things that made absolutely no sense and didn't fit into anything we were doing while drunk.
She told me she'd love to see me in a an argument because i'm too laid back.
She told me things couldn't work between us unless I was harder on her and if not then she'd walk all over me (was crying while telling me this)
Nearly every time I'd see her she'd end up telling me it's not working out and then look at me to try and win her round again and make her feel ok. She told me i had no fight in me one time and said just sleep on the sofa and leave in the morning...this is after no argument at all she was just sat there looking at me.
If I ignored her attempts at getting attention sometimes she'd just roll over and start crying so I could hear her whimpering.
She would constantly flirt with other guys wether it be on facebook or on the dating site I met her on (which is the reason I finally broke up with her). When I confronted her about it she said "so I talk to guys on there big deal."
She never admits responsibility for her actions...though she did used to admit she had mood swings and said it wasn't fair on me...she said "maybe you should find someone who will treat you better"
Refused to go to the doctors about her smear test that showed abnormal results because she was sure she had cancer so didn't want it to be confirmed in her mind. she'd rather just ignore it.
We stayed up all night with me telling her she needed to do it but she would promise me one minute then the next say she wasn't going.
On new years eve she told me things aren't going to work out because she was too old for me and started crying. she wouldn't listen to anything I said until I started crying myself then she did a 180 and hugged me and said she was sorry for being silly and after that she was all over me like when we first started going out. She would just sit there in bed staring at me wide-eyed smiling.
She'd constantly tell me her back is hurting and how she feels like she's falling apart to try get sympathy from me.
Her dad lives just a couple miles away but her and her siblings haven't seen him in 10 years. I didn't ask why.
Does any of this sound familiar to you guys who have experience with an actual bpd?
Thanks
