"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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BPD or Just like my own company?

:-)

Master Don Juan
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I read on a recent thread how potential LTR's with few friends was a HUGE red flag as well as being estranged from the family.

Thing is, I'm a bit of a loner myself, have a few friends dotted around but no real friends in the sense of the word. I've pretty much always liked my own company since I was a kid so have never really sought the company of others out.

My upbringing though stable in the sense my parents stayed together and there were no arguments or fights is somewhat odd. Everybody gets on for the sake of it but there are issues. Father is emotionally retarded and we think either mildly autistic or has Asperger's syndrome, and there is an undercurrent of rage in every one of us that is sparked off by the silliest thing. My big brother turned his back on the family years ago and we're not sure why. Nobody tells anyone anything.

Is this normal or do I come from a family of BPD's. I considered us normal until I came to this site. On reflection I've always been hesitant to introduce people to my family for the above reasons.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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iamnobody

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If you're asking yourself if you suffer from BPD or not, you're most certainly NOT. Relax, mate.
 

Johnny Alias

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Exactly. BPDs are usually incapable of self introspection. Other symptoms include substance abuse, inability to take blame for wrongdoings, depression, lack of empathy, and so on.

I understand your concern. As I'm in therapy for self absorption issues I realized that my mom was a histrionic and my dad is a narcissist. But I do feel empathy for people's problems making me a codependent and putting up with shvt I never should from chicks.

Family dynamics are a trip. I don't have much left. If you're genuinely concerned see a therapist and talk it out. Sounds like it might be a good idea for you. I know it has been for me.
 
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