"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

BPD Love Story

ullysses59

New Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2012
Messages
8
Reaction score
0
Hello,

I am new to this forum and decided to tell my story and in doing so , I expect a lot of criticism and perhaps a few " I told you so's " but I am not going to pretend I am a victim because the decisions I made were my own and I am living through the consequences. The more detailed I make the story , the better readers can grasp what happened through my eyes but I will just wing it and try to not write War & Peace.

I was 56 years old in my second marriage with 6 kids between them , youngest now 17. My 2nd marriage was 25 years at the time and it was not working. My wife and I had slept apart for years and the love was gone...no sex for many years. We did try but evidently not enough...anyway......I was on facebook where I went to post for political networking and a little humor but nothing more and maybe to read my kids walls. I used an alias name and no pictures of myself at the time. One friend from California messaged me and we began to chat . She was very friendly and I chatted back and soon we began talking about personal issues instead of politics and whatnot. She was 39 at the time and 14 years married with 2 kids in a very nice house with a husband who supported her well. Within 3 weeks of chatting , she told me that she thinks she loves me..without knowing my real name or what I looked like. She did know my age and I even told her at first that I am Too Old for you but she didn't think so. After that , I phoned her anonymously , a huge decision for me , to see if she was really a woman and she most certainly was. We continued to chat and developed a close relationship via Facebook and eventually the phone. This woman was 5 ft 11 and I am 5 ft 8 and she was almost 18 years younger than myself and we both were married , albeit myself very unhappily. She was a 10 on any scale , gorgeous , and a body to match. When she walked into a public place , men would turn heads even if she were wearing no makeup. I fell in love with her not because of her looks but because she was the sweetest woman that I had ever known..or so I thought. She seemed like someone from heaven and loved every single thing I did and placed me on a pedestal beyond belief. She moved out of her home within 1 month and sought a divorce and we met 3 months later . She was far away from me . I lived in a huge 7000 sq ft estate on 7 acres that I built . When we met , it was incredible and after I returned , I filed for divorce. I did so thinking that she had given me back the self confidence of being someone who was wasting his life in a loveless marriage. We chatted everyday , sometimes almost all day and she visited me and I visited her multiple times until both of our divorces were final. She had written 2 books and published them and she was gifted at writing beautiful love letters. I had been with my share of women years prior and was experienced with women and love...or so I thought. She didn't just want to eventually marry me, she wanted to be with me until the day I die and walk hand in hand with me in heaven . That kind of thing .


She was different from any girl that I had ever met and she made pledges and promises that were solemn and believable. Her ex husband dragged out her divorce and she ran out of money and along the way , there were red flags of behavior. I am basically an easy going man and do not react to a woman's words initially for the most part but when prodded enough , I do respond because I was not a wimp but actually more Alpha. To speed this up , the plan was for her to move to my city , I buy a house with her help and she and I would start a new life together . She would sell real estate and when she got financially stable , we would petition the court to gain custody of her 2 girls that she lost in the divorce. I had plenty of money and once we lived in a new house , she would only pay her own expenses at first , nothing more. She got 900 dollars a month spousal support for 3 years. We both endured a lot just getting to this time to finally start our life together. She finally arrives with her ex husbands pension coming about 32k after taxes soon to follow. She buys a small car , starts real estate class and we share a decent apartment and begin the process . Within 3 days of arrival , she throws me out, within 10 days of arrival , she throws me out again and I must take all of my belongings in the pouring rain and give her key back despite the fact that her furniture had not even arrived yet , she had no car and she knew no one. I had just booked a trip for us to Daytona Beach so I managed, not easy , to make amends and take her . In the following weeks , the same pattern continued. She would start an argument or find fault with something insignificant but for some reason very important to her. She pressed each issue until the most petty thing led to the end ! After about 6 weeks of her arriving to start our new life, after waiting 1.5 years to do so , she breaks up with me again and this time she goes on match.com to find another man. She is so incredibly attractive , you can imagine her email inbox. She pursues several men but starts a relationship up with a man with a Harley and lives with him a while . She described her sexual adventure afterward to me and she did it all to him . She is very aggressive sexually and a natural seductress by nature. So....recap....a woman on Facebook seduces an older man with her words and we both divorce our families turning many peoples lives upside down supposedly to follow our hearts of true love. Yet , after 6 weeks of landing and nothing but ridiculous arguments , she is doing a stranger big time and even pursuing another married man at the same time. Back home , her daughters and ex husband do not know this story. They hear how awful of a person I turned out to be and a whole assortment of brainwashing perspective. During this time when she was broke up and doing this other man , she went no contact with me and I did email her with attempts to make her realize what she was doing . It was during this time , that I starting learning about Cluster B personalities and BPD / HPD / NPD and everything related to them. There was no doubt...she was and is a Cluster B. Her mother was murdered when she was 6 and her father didnt take her in. She despises her father to this day , he was an attorney and an airline pilot , and she only relates well to her aunt as far as family.


This is when I compromised my integrity too far. I convinced her of her ailment and decided to take her back ans she didnt want to at first. I bribed her by booking a nice cruise and she only then cut off her other contacts. During the next 8 months or so , we went on 3 cruises and the interim times was strewn with identical behavior of her demeaning me and throwing me out. As a result of all this rollercoaster emotional happenings , it was difficult for me to find a house , although I did make many offers , and it was difficult to love her because the trust was gone and she had been with another man.
She also lied as needed and saw things that didnt happen...and her behavior to other people looked very Sociopathic to go along with her PD's.
As I look back , she had " flipped " me black several months before she even arrived and therefore the Love she once professed to me so dearly , if ever real , was long gone. I was a stable man who became co dependent on her and I knew we could never go back to what I thought was blissful again but I kept trying. We had more Sex than you can imagine..each day..sometimes 3 or 4 times. I am quite fit for my age and she was an animal in bed. She could get any man she wanted and I was lucky to have her from a physical point of view. As things continued , she blamed me for everything and whereas she acknowledged that she had BPD/HPD and even thanked me for loving her enough to point it all out , she became crazy and psychotic at times but only I knew it. She made everyone else think that I was causing her to feel that way. She eventually got her ex husband to come and get her and they drove cross country back to California where she said she wanted to be with her girls. She immediately found another man on the internet , she joined a Millionaire dating site , and went no contact with me. I emailed her and she threatened to prosecute me for harrassment from 3 emails..LOL


I am in another relationship with a normal woman but I do think about her. She turned a lot of lives inside out and moved on very easily while claiming to be a victim . She got inside my head and my heart and is still missed. This woman is a sexual seductress and she can make any man reading this love her if she targets you. She is now 41 and living with a man who doesnt have a clue. I have bought w house . Any comments ?
 
Last edited:

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Purefilth

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 13, 2012
Messages
2,749
Reaction score
73
Location
BEAST MODE [ON]
please edit this into paragraphs my friend, the huge block of words is difficult to concentrate on properly!

Not kidding! the enter button is your friend :) I will read if it's edited -
 

JohnChops

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
2,734
Reaction score
481
Location
No more keyboard jockeying . Action is the place.
Purefilth said:
please edit this into paragraphs my friend, the huge block of words is difficult to concentrate on properly!

Not kidding! the enter button is your friend :) I will read if it's edited -
agreed. i tried reading it and my eyes started to hurt
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
17,585
Reaction score
6,358
Age
50
Location
midwestern cow field 40
Her mother was murdered when she was 6 and her father didnt take her in. She despises her father to this day

There's the traumatic childhood abandonment that always seems to be the cause of the BPD, only she got it twice as badly - abandonment from both parents.

A buddy of mine just married a stripper with five kids, who I think is a borderline, so I was reading up on bpd relationships. They are typically codependent. One side is the 'taker' and the other side is the 'caregiver.' Codependency takes two; for the caregiver, losing yourself in tending to someone else's problems and drama is a way to escape having to deal with your own problems. It's also like an overdose of affection to someone who is starved for it.
 

ullysses59

New Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2012
Messages
8
Reaction score
0
You are absolutely right about WHY she is a Cluster B ..Bible Belt.
The thing is she lies very well and is a natural manipulator so she may be somewhat Sociopathic Plus a Cluster B. She knows she has this now but has only admitted it to me. In fact , she wrote me a lengthy email telling me how much she loved me for caring enough to point all this out and putting up with her. She will never admit to anyone and has demonized me so she can move forward. She is a high functioning BPD but her emotional states are that of an adolescent . She is every single DSMIV diagnosis except cutting herself. Her BPD and Cluster B will not show up during the initial honeymoon or idealization stage...she knows how to fixate and bring ANY man into loving her when she targets them. She lies and mirrors them ....if they were a painter, she would take up painting..if they were florist , she would study that and so on....the man doesn't have a clue and this absolutely tall gorgeous sexual woman with a body to die for is all over him.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

SSBS

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 16, 2012
Messages
74
Reaction score
6
Sounds to me like her ex-husband owes you a great big thank you.
 

ullysses59

New Member
Joined
Oct 5, 2012
Messages
8
Reaction score
0
Bible belt..it is funny you should bring him up......that story is weird as well and a lengthy one. Consider...she demonized him like no other when we met and while she went through her long divorce. He has the best attorney and delayed the whole thing because he still loved her. When looking back , her reasons for divorcing him were so lame yet I believed her for the longest time. As her and I broke up ( due to her emotional nuts ) , she would phone him for support. This is textbook behavior in a Cluster B..she was reaching out to her old caregiver. They texted a lot and he was raising her two girls . He got on his knees with flowers at the end of their divorce to tell her he loved her. She was put out and hated him then. She since has forgave him and she summoned him to fly cross country and he drove the rental truck with her in her car back to California. She stayed in his rental house with their two girls while she cultivated her new care giver which took about a week or so. Her divorcing this man , who has a great job , cost him 1/2 of his pension, 20K in attorney fees, their nice house and all the equity was sent into foreclosure and both of their credits were affected and now he rents a cookie cutter project house. He has virtually no savings now. He still rode to her rescue. This is the kind of power she wields.
 

bluenorther

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2005
Messages
238
Reaction score
4
Location
West Coast
Psychotic women are always the most interesting and entertaining. It's too bad, "normals" can't learn how to be as amazing.
Ulysses-- have you ever read Shrink4men.com?
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,657
Reaction score
6,614
Age
69
Location
The 7th Dimension
Who's gonna read this pile of alphabet soup vomit?

OP, respect your peers by cleaning up your post with paragraphs. When you're solicitng comments from others there's no reason to make them work so hard to read what you're saying.
 
Top