BPD experience

[Confusedpe]

Hi all, new forum member here with a question

- What's the most extreme BPD woman you guys have ever been with? I mean the one I have had a serious relationship with there have been 3-4 recycles, usual stuff except for self harm, when I go NC I get on average 300-500 missed calls, fake Facebook adds and messages, using other people's phone numbers etc

12 months after break up she's still going stronger then ever begging every day on numerous occasions attempting to Hoover....I know it's all fake and as soon as I commit the usual stuff pops up, in fact normally worse the the other times

Any thoughts?

 

[Billtx49]

The spying using other people's identities and sometimes your own relatives to spy for her is fairly standard once Hoover mode has been triggered.
The higher functioning ones do it somewhat less aggressively and will not make the calls after spying if they know you are in another relationship, but the spying usually doesn't stop. The low functioning ones will call regardless of your current status.
From your description, yours sounds like she is probably low functioning because of her aggressiveness in trying to burrow herself back into your life.

 

[wolf]

Here is some advice for anyone that is committed to dropping a BPD.

Make the break up her fault!

Be sure to trigger her fear of engulfment before balancing it out with her fear of abandonment.

For example.. ask her to Marry you.. then when the initial excitement has died down you will get the inevitable BPD 'kickback'.

This is when she pushes you away/withdraws. Use this to your advantage to state she clearly doesn't want what you do then walk away. Yeah she will stalk you for a couple of months, yeah she will check your trash for used condoms or whatever...

But it gets you off the hook and you get to walk away relatively unscathed!

 

[Confusedpe]

Actually the promise of marriage was there to be honest

There was a warning during the last recycle, any repeated behaviour which lead to me dumping her constantly and I would give her the final dump, as per usual great 5-6 week honeymoon period then the drama begins, I dumped her for the final time. This isn't anything new to me as I've known her for 4 years now and I've been sucked in many times only to be even more disappointed then the first time.

I legit can't live a normal life anymore this person is poison, any normal human would have got the point! I've blocked more people on social media then I hate friends, I get up to 200 new texts a day, if I don't respond the calls start coming via a private number, physical stalking etc

1 year and she goes strong, yes I am to blame as well, she's smokin hot and I met with her maybe 3-4 times over the past year for sex, stupid me

I guess her bad behaviour has been somewhat rewarded by me, just trying to get clarity to see if anyone here has had this happen to them at this extreme level before

 

[wolf]

There are currently a couple of great BPD threads in the DJ section. They are well worth a read!