I met my exBPDgf at work (we still work together) back in September of 2015. I was in a good place in my life back then. At the time I was dating two other chicks, and both were keeping me satisfied, with little to no complications. I wasn't looking to add a third, but in typical BPD style she wouldn't let up. She morphed into exactly what I was looking for, and before long, she was all I could think about. I actually thought this was the one.
Began dating her, and cut the other two out of my life. First two dates with her, were dream dates. She was sexy, funny, attentive, cooked for me and ultimately gave me the most amazing sex I've ever had in my life. Nothing was off limits. I could bang her anytime I wanted. I was hooked, and she knew it. This is when the red flags started to appear;
* Left her home the day she turned 18
* First live in boyfriend was abusive
* Strange relationship with her Dad. Almost incestuous. Told me once not to tickle her there (side of stomach) only her dad could?? Also mentioned they use to ''play'' wrestle? She accompanied him to work events, almost like she was his wife and not her daughter .
* Slept with her after second date
* Told me she loved me after three weeks together
* talked about kids and buying a home
I didn't let that stuff bother me On a normal weekend together I would bang her 8 to 10 times. She was insatiable. Shortly after, she became controlling and moody. Broke up with her the first time after 3 weeks (probably 10 times over a 10 month period) The longest we had been apart was a little over a month. She point blan asked me if I thought I could do better then her, and I said yes. She freaked and stopped talking to me. That breakup had me looking into her quirks, and finding out she met 8 out of the 9 criteria for BPD.
Here are some examples;
* First time I met her friends (dinner party) she flirted with her best friends boyfriend right in front of me ... and her. didn't seem to bother her friend, bothered me and I dropped her off at her place, and dumped her. (got back with her shortly after)
* Drank and smoked like a sailor. Started using pot again. Suspicion that she's done (does) other drugs.
* Would be best friends with someone one day, and enemies the next.
* EXTREME ATTENTION ***** Would flirt with anything that breathed.
* Orbiters and exes would appear. Now realized that she would use me to triangulate with these people.
* Found out she can't stand to be alone. Now realize that her bed is never cold. She's now 30, which means she's seen miles and miles of ****.
Happened on a few occasions where we would be out on a what I thought was a spontaneous date, and she would run into some random guy she called a ''friend'' I think she knew these guys would be there.
Despite all this, I kept on hanging around because of the amazing sex. I knew she was disordered, and felt that if I could detach from her emotionally, I could still have my cake and eat it. This is when she began to accuse me of cheating. I had slept with one of my exes, when we were broken up. It's like she knew. As of that point she took crazy to a whole other level. I learned at this point, that her worse nightmare was being replaced and abandoned for another woman. Despite the facade she was extremely insecure with low self-esteem. Daily she would accuse me of flirting and cheating with other women, including a coworker that she can't stand. She was convinced I did her, when she ''caught'' me talking to her (she forbid me to) Meanwhile I'm certain she was doing God knows how many guys (and possibly girls)
From this point I had become an enemy. That's when the mind f'ng began. Push/Pull increased. She kept me around just to punish me. She began to recreate reality to fit her needs. I thought I was strong enough to withstand her attempts to purposely hurt me. I was treated to her obvious ridiculous lies. Extreme flirting, attention whoring. I was hurting and broke up again. She would re initiate contact a few days after, we would have sex, and her behavior would only get worse. I had to see her everyday at work, and it was hell. Despite knowing she was poison for me, I couldn't stay away. I was hooked. Friends and family told me to run, change jobs if I had to, but stay the F away. I didn't listen. Instead like a fool, I set out to change her. I let her know that she was abusive and disordered, that I thought she was a cheater and a liar, and this stuff would have to stop. She would pretend to listen, and be 10 times worse the next day.
Fast forward to a week ago. I was keeping my distance and went an entire day not speaking to her. Called me that night,had a long conversation. Next thing I know she's at my door. Slept with her that night. Not going to lie, it was mind blowing sex. Next day she was being cold. At lunch she asked if I had plans for the evening, and I told her I was planning on taking it easy. Later that day, I see her flirting with a coworker, and I flipped a switch. Near the end of the day, she asked me again if I had plans for the evening, and this time I told her I might be going out for dinner. I saw the expression on her face change, she became flushed, and said, ''you're seeing somebody else aren't you?'' I said I was just going out for supper and walked away. 5 minutes later I see her packing up her stuff, and rushing out of the office. She wasn't at work the next day, and found out she'll be out for at least a week on sick leave. She had been complaining about feeling sick, the whole week, but I still think I triggered her worst fears. Haven't spoken to her since.
I now realize that I've been devalued and eventually painted black (for calling her out) She still reached out wanting to keep me close, so that she could play her role of victim, and me the abuser to our coworkers. She began running to the washroom, after I spoke to her, to make it seem I was abusive. I'm now scared about losing my job. I think she has been smearing me, and I'm scared of what else she could do.
The longer you are exposed to these people the more damage they will do. I had plenty of opportunities to leave early on, but never did. I have a feeling she isn't done with me.
Began dating her, and cut the other two out of my life. First two dates with her, were dream dates. She was sexy, funny, attentive, cooked for me and ultimately gave me the most amazing sex I've ever had in my life. Nothing was off limits. I could bang her anytime I wanted. I was hooked, and she knew it. This is when the red flags started to appear;
* Left her home the day she turned 18
* First live in boyfriend was abusive
* Strange relationship with her Dad. Almost incestuous. Told me once not to tickle her there (side of stomach) only her dad could?? Also mentioned they use to ''play'' wrestle? She accompanied him to work events, almost like she was his wife and not her daughter .
* Slept with her after second date
* Told me she loved me after three weeks together
* talked about kids and buying a home
I didn't let that stuff bother me On a normal weekend together I would bang her 8 to 10 times. She was insatiable. Shortly after, she became controlling and moody. Broke up with her the first time after 3 weeks (probably 10 times over a 10 month period) The longest we had been apart was a little over a month. She point blan asked me if I thought I could do better then her, and I said yes. She freaked and stopped talking to me. That breakup had me looking into her quirks, and finding out she met 8 out of the 9 criteria for BPD.
Here are some examples;
* First time I met her friends (dinner party) she flirted with her best friends boyfriend right in front of me ... and her. didn't seem to bother her friend, bothered me and I dropped her off at her place, and dumped her. (got back with her shortly after)
* Drank and smoked like a sailor. Started using pot again. Suspicion that she's done (does) other drugs.
* Would be best friends with someone one day, and enemies the next.
* EXTREME ATTENTION ***** Would flirt with anything that breathed.
* Orbiters and exes would appear. Now realized that she would use me to triangulate with these people.
* Found out she can't stand to be alone. Now realize that her bed is never cold. She's now 30, which means she's seen miles and miles of ****.
Happened on a few occasions where we would be out on a what I thought was a spontaneous date, and she would run into some random guy she called a ''friend'' I think she knew these guys would be there.
Despite all this, I kept on hanging around because of the amazing sex. I knew she was disordered, and felt that if I could detach from her emotionally, I could still have my cake and eat it. This is when she began to accuse me of cheating. I had slept with one of my exes, when we were broken up. It's like she knew. As of that point she took crazy to a whole other level. I learned at this point, that her worse nightmare was being replaced and abandoned for another woman. Despite the facade she was extremely insecure with low self-esteem. Daily she would accuse me of flirting and cheating with other women, including a coworker that she can't stand. She was convinced I did her, when she ''caught'' me talking to her (she forbid me to) Meanwhile I'm certain she was doing God knows how many guys (and possibly girls)
From this point I had become an enemy. That's when the mind f'ng began. Push/Pull increased. She kept me around just to punish me. She began to recreate reality to fit her needs. I thought I was strong enough to withstand her attempts to purposely hurt me. I was treated to her obvious ridiculous lies. Extreme flirting, attention whoring. I was hurting and broke up again. She would re initiate contact a few days after, we would have sex, and her behavior would only get worse. I had to see her everyday at work, and it was hell. Despite knowing she was poison for me, I couldn't stay away. I was hooked. Friends and family told me to run, change jobs if I had to, but stay the F away. I didn't listen. Instead like a fool, I set out to change her. I let her know that she was abusive and disordered, that I thought she was a cheater and a liar, and this stuff would have to stop. She would pretend to listen, and be 10 times worse the next day.
Fast forward to a week ago. I was keeping my distance and went an entire day not speaking to her. Called me that night,had a long conversation. Next thing I know she's at my door. Slept with her that night. Not going to lie, it was mind blowing sex. Next day she was being cold. At lunch she asked if I had plans for the evening, and I told her I was planning on taking it easy. Later that day, I see her flirting with a coworker, and I flipped a switch. Near the end of the day, she asked me again if I had plans for the evening, and this time I told her I might be going out for dinner. I saw the expression on her face change, she became flushed, and said, ''you're seeing somebody else aren't you?'' I said I was just going out for supper and walked away. 5 minutes later I see her packing up her stuff, and rushing out of the office. She wasn't at work the next day, and found out she'll be out for at least a week on sick leave. She had been complaining about feeling sick, the whole week, but I still think I triggered her worst fears. Haven't spoken to her since.
I now realize that I've been devalued and eventually painted black (for calling her out) She still reached out wanting to keep me close, so that she could play her role of victim, and me the abuser to our coworkers. She began running to the washroom, after I spoke to her, to make it seem I was abusive. I'm now scared about losing my job. I think she has been smearing me, and I'm scared of what else she could do.
The longer you are exposed to these people the more damage they will do. I had plenty of opportunities to leave early on, but never did. I have a feeling she isn't done with me.