I screen out women that want too much control in bed (or only get off on top/from oral) and next them without mercy; don't care about how great they look or their personality. If they are not what i want in bed: "NEXT!" This is essential to me. In fact,
If i am in bed with a woman and she starts demanding me to do something. I'll often do the opposite (although sometimes i'll do what she asks.)
So let's take the old cliche "harder!"
Her: HARDER FVCK ME HARDER!
Me: (slowing down) whisper in her ear "nah, i feel like going easy on you right now."
Her: Please do it harder
Me: (doing even slower) "nah, im just going to fvck you like this all night."
After about 5 minutes, I'll pick it up hard and fast and experience the explosion.
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As far as your situation:
I think you handled it poorly.
"I'm tired of taking orders" and then leaving, just comes off very weak to me.
"I'm not taking orders from you" then proceeding to do what you want would have been better.
If she wants to fight you over it - well, that's fun to do in bed too.
Even just stopping. And when she asks why you aren't doing anything, saying "I like women who like to be dominated and this isn't working" would be better.
Either way: Sex conflicts are often bigger than outside the bedroom conflicts. Example: Watch how ruthlessly a lot of women will next or completely degrade a man who is experiencing ED.