Starman- This might not be what you're looking to hear, but I've been trying to figure out how one might step up and become on point. Meaning no longer feeling like a wimp, insecure, less than the next man, like you can't get a woman, desparate, infatuated, pathetic, shy or frustrated. Although I'm hesitant to add frustration and I don't add anger because these two can be useful for progression.
Some of these things can be changed immediately, some will happen because of the chain reaction. There aren't any simple answers for this, and it of course requires hard work.
This is an untested personal system not to be confused with important information or mad insight. Just what I'm going to work on to make things better for myself.
1.
Find the root of your problems, then justify them (even if you were the cause). Realize what made you do it. Realize what did it to you. And I mean all of the tributaries that ran into your river of sorrow. Why do you feel depressed, worried, frustrated and just generally down in the dumps? Okay so situation A, B, C or D happened to you and they've stuck like glue. Why did these events occur? In what environment did they occur? Can you see why they happened? Are they physically effecting your today, right now? Is there anything really there now? Or is much of your paranoia created via these earlier circumstances? This poison ivy (paranoia from the past) is effecting the relationships you make today. A
vicious cycle that brings you down even further because you are unable to get control of the situation and people take notice.
>> I've got an idea for this below.
>> People put you down today, yesterday or then.
So improve yourself. Progress is key to your getting better. Even if people don't put you down, you put you down.
2.
Release the heat and let it go. Not an easy step at all. You have to filter out the negative and bring on the positive. Because only with a positive mind can you prevail. So filter out the comments that hit you in the chip you're carrying around. Stop applying everything that is said to your problems, let it go even if it is directed at you. So, if it's not the outside world giving you grief, you have to force-feed your mind with bright, solid and strong thoughts of yourself. Build up your image of you and get some mental strength. If the people around you are *******s, Quickly,
look them in the eye and tell yourself you're strong and get busy with your work. Get into your work and start doing the things that make you feel good inside. It's all about mind power. It's all about controlling your thoughts and doing what it is that makes you happy. Plain and f'ing simple.
3.
Drink Water (6 Cups Every Day)
4.
Exercise (jog, push-ups, sit-ups, walk, lift weights, play sports)
5.
Eat well - No more Capn Crunch for B, Fruit Roll-ups for L and McDonalds for D. Just make sure you take vitamins and eat decently is all I'm trying to say.
Side Note...Get up early, but make sure you have enough sleep.
6.
Listen to music that motivates you to better yourself. (Subjective, but examples- Tribe Called Quest, Stereo MC's, Public Enemy, KRS-ONE, De La Soul, Buster Rhymes, Mos Def, Big Daddy Kane)
> 3, 4, 5 and 6 won't do shyte if you don't keep up with it.
7.
Realize that your problems, 95% of them, are now being caused by you. Don't have so much pride. It's pointless. It's essential to unwind and feel loose. That's letting the negativity go around you instead of right into your head. Besides dammit, you want to be a mover and shaker and you have things to damn do! Your behind even so you don't have time to partake in negativity and people trying to bring you down.
8.
Realize that everyone has problems and everyone is flawed in one form or another. Drop some of that loftiness created by your own insecurities. Have lofty ideas and a creative attitude, but make sure they're in your mind and not translating to other people as stuck up without showing anything. You can only prove that you're that bad ass mofo when you have something to show...And only then. Try to empathize with everyone you meet from hotdog vendor to President. You have something in common because you're people. Remember you won't or shouldn't Always have something to say.
9.
Remember that the Movers and Shakers are doing just that. You respect someone that's changing things in Industry X? Or better yet work outside of the industry on their own terms. If they sense that you are insecure they'll say to you, Go F()ck Yourself Kid...We're busy in here. Then when the door shuts on your face, they'll laugh at you and carry on with their work.
> I have an idea about how to fix that insecurity and being on point- just a second though.
10.
Quit expecting that just because something clicks in your mind with some girl or job- you're going to get it...you must just because. That's not life. Don't get down on yourself and start growing that poison ivy when it doesn't work out. Realize that there is another day, another way, another woman, another friend and so on- and you have your work and your friend - you. Yep, your friends should try to uplift you and be positive, so if you're your own friend you shouldn't be feeling too bad because you like yourself. (This I'm finding a hard lesson to learn, because I get down sometimes when things don't go my way- but I'm working on lessening the effect of any possible downer that comes my way). Be a stand-up guy and don't half-step by retreating to a hole in your mind when you feel pressured. You can do this when you practice the next point.
11. Ok. Now here is the thing I'm most excited about.
Being on point at all times should in theory eliminate the problems you are having. No longer being the guy you don't want to be.
Many times when things don't go your way it's simply because you are not focused. You're not focused! Wake UP! You have trouble remembering things, people think you're weird, you have this light feeling in your chest that you can't do it and you get nervous. Or you feel that poison ivy creeping up when your speaking to someone...Hell NO! Stay focused!
From now on when you speak to other humans, you know girls and friends and family and bosses and you know, anyone make sure that you stay focused and bring something to the table. No matter how long the duration of conversation.
Don't slip into space and don't think about your negative situation. Because just because you think they know what happened to you or you think they know what you're thinking always they Don't! They just sense something is wrong with you. Then they might take a wild guess and grab your chip and spit it out at you. Shrug it off baby- because if you let it slide they'll think they were wrong and you can go and work on it when you're by yourself. The time that you should be thinking of yourself.
Paranoia is a part of everyone to a certain degree? You paranoid yet?
The time you should think about you, your bills, your situations, your problems, your fears/worries, your tiny little light-hearted powder puff demeanor and personality and your work are when you are working, driving, spending time alone/by yourself or are with someone who actually wants to speak with you About you. This is really important. If you are constantly thinking about you and your dilemmas that you're carrying around when speaking to some girl you're screwed. You think to yourself, she knows my past and how I've been such a wuss. No! She doesn't! But she will! I exclaim because it is crucial to your progression as that solid strong mutha f()cka you're trying to be.
Just make sure you know when to think about yourself, and when you do make sure that you take the necessary steps to improve your mental health and wherewithall which has to do with finances.
12.
Become better than you were and try not to compare yourself with the people who have things...like hot women, money and cars. This will get you nowhere and just make you think you aren't worthy of anything. All that it does is slow you down, that's it. Yep, it drags your personality down the tubes and makes you work less. You have to think you'll have those things soon enough through hard work.
13.
Believe that there will be a point in some peoples life where they come to the realization that they gave up and can no longer attain the things they desired. Believe that there will be a point in some peoples life where they realize they have done good things and feel good about their lives. They've seen their dreams come true. Or they are doing things just as good as what they originally intended to do but went off in this great weird ass tangent without knowing it because they put themselves out there. Postive minds will rise and prevail while negative minds will end up with the herd in the back.
14.
Move forward, progress and talk to the hotty you see there. What she gonna do? Bite your penis off? If ya lucky.
15.
Don't be so scared of what you Might say. Just say it but be prepared to handle whatever comes your way. This one will take some practice just like job interviews. It means knowing yourself better and being more confident.
16.
Try hard not to care what others think deep down. Don't let it ruin you day or even a minute. Just stay devoted to your work and be true to yourself. True means be the righteous brotha -
know that you are getting better and will contribute to society and then contribute when things are going well.
Concentrate and Focus in what's happening NOW! NOW! You really HAVE TO work on it.
Knowledge is KEY (read books
)
Better to try at 37 than die at 26.
