Boring...

[SoonToBeDJ]

Hey guys, I have a problem when it comes to approaching girls. A lot of guys from what I have read seem to have trouble getting enough courage to talk to girls and ask them out. Me on the other hand am not scared. Usually when I feel I should ask a girl out I do, but I don't get that opportunity much and when I do, I get turned down.

Now I try to stay as confident as possible, but it just sucks getting turned down each time I ask.

The reason why I say I don't get that opportunity much is because I don't ever get any signals from a girl that she is interested. I am not an ugly guy, I'd say average at least.

Another reason why I don't get many opportunities is because I don't go out much, which really sucks. I don't have any friends or at least friends that I like to hang out with, most of them are lamer than me who I barely had anything in common with from HS that I just talked to so I wouldn't be mute all day.

Then I have the times where I feel the need to say something to girls, but don't know what to say. I am not a funny guy even though I try to be. At school it seems as if all the girls act or come off as not wanting to bothered with anyone. Anyone have any advice to improve my boring life? lol

 

[DJ_in_making]

You're in college right?

Just keep talking to people, join clubs and crap. Observe people with a lot of friends and find out what it is that they're doing so good. Be one of those guys who gets into people's conversations (without appearing creepy mind you) but at the right time.

From what you said, I'm guessing you are asking these girls out without much prior interaction. My friend, you can't really get better at socializing just by hearing tips its like "explaining" how to ride a bike, just gotta keep doing it until you start to get good at it then it becomes like second nature.

If you don't go out its only going to make you feel more loserish. Once you have a few conversations and get into "talk mode" socializing becomes effortless, I'm sure you've experienced that before.

 

[SharinganUser]

1) who cares if they are sending signals. Women are generally reactive, not proactive. You gotta send the signals out first, then they will mimic them and return them. Also it is none of your biz what they think of you, so just ignore them and go in for the close.

2)go out and socialize. You don't need friends to do that, just do it and you'll make them

3)You don't NEED anything. There are many times when I am compelled to say something, but it's just that a compulsion and not a need. And then I say it and it's go time. Besides it's not what you say, but how you say it.

 

[Albion10]

Hey guys, I have a problem when it comes to approaching girls. A lot of guys from what I have read seem to have trouble getting enough courage to talk to girls and ask them out. Me on the other hand am not scared. Usually when I feel I should ask a girl out I do, but I don't get that opportunity much and when I do, I get turned down.

Now I try to stay as confident as possible, but it just sucks getting turned down each time I ask.

The reason why I say I don't get that opportunity much is because I don't ever get any signals from a girl that she is interested. I am not an ugly guy, I'd say average at least.

Another reason why I don't get many opportunities is because I don't go out much, which really sucks. I don't have any friends or at least friends that I like to hang out with, most of them are lamer than me who I barely had anything in common with from HS that I just talked to so I wouldn't be mute all day.

Confidence means doing something without question. You don't do it because you've analysed all the angles, you do it because you're sure of the outcome whether you know the angles or not. With women that means you're sure of two things; first that you don't give a crap if she rejects you. You know that there's another girl right next to her you can approach if she does. Secondly you know what you want and you're willing to do whatever is reasonably necessary to get it.

Don't look at a woman and immediatly assume she's not interested. Maybe she just hasn't noticed you. Maybe you should give her something to notice? The guy who sits and hides in corner shadows is not going to be noticed by anyone. A guy who approaches people and communicates his personality will.

There's only one person responsible for your lack of friends. No offence, but maybe instead of trying to place blame on everyone else you should loosen up a little bit. If the people you meet don't share you're interests maybe you're meeting people in the wrong places and that's not their fault. Either change your interests or change to places you hang out. You're most likely not going to meet a church girl at a strip joint.

Then I have the times where I feel the need to say something to girls, but don't know what to say. I am not a funny guy even though I try to be. At school it seems as if all the girls act or come off as not wanting to bothered with anyone. Anyone have any advice to improve my boring life? lol

So, you got your first glimpse of a signal from a girl. Most sexual signals are subconscious. That means your conscious mind will not usually comprehend them unless you've trained yourself to do so. So, when you feel the need to say something that's most likely your subconscious telling you, "Hey that girl over there is giving you signals, get over there and get that!" Never question your gut, have confidence in it. Sure, it's not always correct, but it is a lot more then it isn't.

Never say never!! If you tell yourself you're not funny, then you won't be. That's called a self fulfilling prophecy. Humor is all about comfort. If you're comfortable with yourself and your surroundings, you can be yourself. When you're being youself, humor will flow.

Stop looking down on yourself. How can you be on the top of the list if you believe you live on the bottom? When you start believing you're the man, you will be the man. There's no ladders to climb or tests to pass. It's as simple as believing in and being sure of yourself.

Good luck

-Al

 

[Delta]

good advice albion,

generally, i was in the camp that if you're the wrong kind of person, if you have ultra confidence even though you are a seething dork, you're gonna be one heckuva an insufferable maniac with an inexplicable delusion of hotness.....

BUT

even though this comes across as insanity to everybody else, it might actually still work for the person....

delta