Bored with FB?

[disfunktional]

Do you guys get bored with FB's? Someone you are attracted to sexually but have no interest in developing a relationship with. I've only had a couple, so my experience is not major, but I'd say after about 3 -5 times fvcking I have just lost interest. I feel it is at this point that I need something more out of the relationship than just sex. For me, sex only goes so far. Sure, its great but its not everything. Sometimes I read this forum and a lot of guys are all about sex, non-stop. Just wondering your views...

 

[Vulpine]

FB's are more like "maintenance sex". I use them instead of masturbating. I guess I'm just too lazy to do it myself. I mean, why should I when someone else is more than happy to do it for me?

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops!


I've only recently indulged in this whole FUKK BUDDY thing. And to me, it's like playing with a timebomb. To me, since I'm more of a one-woman-for-me-type of guy at heart, as opposed to a Multiple-Women-For-Me-type of ****ksman, it becomes morally and emotionally hard for ME to maintain that type of "relationship".

I understand that this type of lifestyle is fine for many, and EVEN preferable. But I only think it can work LONG term if YOU can think of the girl as a SEX TOY only.

I think Vulpine is correct when he intimated:

Fukk Buddies are really the equivalent to using a person as a tool for masturbation.

My conscience has only let me indulge in this under two circumstances:

1. The girl has to be a confirmed FREAK (sexually promiscuous girl) or a confirmed HO (emotionally promiscuous girl who's always out to better her station in life by using various guys' money or status to do so). If I pretty much KNOW and can ACCEPT this about them up front, then I can justify sexing them in my mind more easily.

2. There has to be some kind of pre-agreed upon time limit to how long I'll be having casual sex with the girl. Examples: a girl who's leaving town soon, a girl who's inbetween guys and you KNOW her ass will be going back to her old boyfriend eventually, or a girl "friend" who's always wanted to TRY something and you make yourself available to "help her out", or OTHER girls that you pretty much KNOW are generally emotionally unavailable to YOU. LOL

These are what many call "Friends with Benefits". This is where things can get very complicated for ME at least. Because of my repeated non-sexual exposures to these women, it becomes almost impossible for me to TOTALLY divest myself emotonally from them. So as a result, I find it hard to continually sex a chick AND still manage think of her as just a comme dumpster. Which is the mentality I find I must have to maintain the purely Fukk Buddy "relationships" that I mentioned earlier.

No matter how much macho shiitt I read on this site, I KNOW that despite their bytchiness, women are PEOPLE too. (WTF???? lol) They have feelings and so do I.

I personally believe sex was designed by God to be a BONDING experience between a man and a woman----not JUST a good time had by all. LOL

So having said that, I feel like I'm playing Russian Roulette with my heart/emotional health every time I dabble in the Fukk Buddy/Friends with Benefits system.

Most times I've found that unless it ends quickly, the risk of it ending BADLY grows astronomically----especially if the girl is GOOD GIRL, and not a FREAK or a HO. If the fukking continues long enough with GOOD GIRLS, SOMEBODY, either you or HER is usually gonna start "catching" feelings...

Since I've been doing this FB/FWB thing, I see the pros as well as the cons. And the overall conclusion I've reached is that this is a lifestyle that, for ME, is a piss-poor imitation of what I ultimately want with a woman.


...And I hope to escape both the need AND the temptation to gravitate towards these types of "relationships" in the very near future...




Peace...one day.

 

[joekerr31]

VU, i always love your responses. Really like the way you think dude. Keep living the good life - you've got a lot of it figured out.

now, as for the FB issue, here are my simple views on it

- Mature women (over 35) = great FBs
- young woman (under 30) = bad FBs
- women between 30-35 = could go either way

the comment about its easier to have a FB rather than masturbate is retarded. Spanking one off takes 5 minutes. slamming some chic takes an hour (even more if she sticks around after).

FB Pros
- you're banging a chic you think is hot
- total disregard for what she thinks about some sex idea you have ("so babe, how about we squirt water in your p*ssy then you can squirt when you ***)
- you can disengage any time and have a ligite excuse "we always know this wasn't forever'
- FBs are always a resource that can be tapped in the future (unless they are taken at some point or unless you break the FB rules)

FB Cons
- either you respect the woman your f*cking, in which case you're fooling yourself that its just a FB situation OR you don't respect her (in which case it could be questioned why you're f*cking a chic you don't respect).

the con is well expressed in VU's post.

The Exception
- it IS possible, although rare, that you totally jive with a chic, but some reason you both know there's no "relationship" potential there. You might totally respect her, totally love her personality, but something makes a relationship impossible - maybe your job has you travelling 250 days a year, or she's bisexual and you can't be with someone that needs to lick carpet now and then to be happy. but this "exception" scenario is pretty rare.


I do contend though that older women are PERFECT FBs. they know what they are doing and are able to have a mature, caring "friendship" that includes some hot sex. haha. As long as there's 10 years difference between you, she might actually be great for your life. she'll tell ya what kind of woman you actually need, she'll be happy for you when you find a great girl, etc.

mature women aren't delusional as to the "realistic" potential between the two of you. they know its a 'good thing' while it lasts. and after its done, you'll go back to being friends and stay friends.

so anyway, thumbs down on the FB thing unless its with a mature older woman (not, mature as in emotionally mature).

 

[ElChoclo]

FB or otherwise, interest levels will always drop. FB is a poorly defined concept. In one sense a mistress is an FB, at one end of the spectrum. At the other end a ONS is an FB.

Which is why this descriptive term is not such a useful label. Likewise assuming that an FB relationship is not sexually satisfying because there is no other component is probably phallacious thinking (yes I spelt it incorrectly for my own amusement). Novelty adds to any sexual encounter. People become bored with any regular sex partner, and it happens quickly.

 

[disfunktional]

Some interesting replies I've enjoyed reading. VU, I like your post, and I'm very much with your views on this one.

 

[Vulpine]

You guys are far too literal. Grow a sense of humor.

Spanking one off does, indeed, only take a couple of minutes.

But making dinner, talking to yourself over coffee, throwing in a porno while enjoying a ****tail, and climbing into the shower with yourself takes well over an hour.

Do I really need to point out the ridiculously obvious stuff like "a warm, wet hole trumps a clenched fist any day of the week"? "Talking to someone is more interesting than talking to yourself"? "Queens beat a Jack"? Please read between the lines and smile.

Why does everyone have to be so angsty?

 

[resilient]

Do I really need to point out the ridiculously obvious stuff like "a warm, wet hole trumps a clenched fist any day of the week"? "Talking to someone is more interesting than talking to yourself"? "Queens beat a Jack"? Please read between the lines and smile.

Why does everyone have to be so angsty?

Vulpine, you keep our sanity in check. Your original humor is always welcome at sosuave

But, back on topic, if you're bored with the FB than simply stop meeting up with her and pursuit something else. That simple.

 

[Heretolearn]

May I suggest that you are perhaps chasing the wrong goal in this instance.

I understand completely the phenomenon you describe but have personally found it meant I had something unfulfilled or an unnoticed desire or a subconcious awareness that I was not living the way I truly wanted to at the time and was merely distracting myself from this greater confusion or frustration of either not being able to scratch the itch or worse still, feeling funny and itchy but not knowing why.

It can also be a way of ticking the boxes so to speak on being with different girls/experiences. You never seriously want to have anything past just a taste.

I know you are obviously very accomplished in many realms so can truly review yourself and your path. Perhaps you chase girls that you do not competely respect or look up to, just to conquer and build yourself up to the time when you can finally seek or receive the woman or thing in your life that would keep you interested.

I find interest is generated by the following things: *not an exclusive list, a lot more categories I am sure.

curiosity/mystery. Thus shortlived when you discover/unravel the woman (get her)

Conquest/ego. The hunt. Prove something, perhaps to yourself or to others. Shortlived.

Boredom/distraction/loneliness: Allows you to fill in time in this life so you feel like you are accomplishing/doing something

Genuine respect/passion/love/common values and goals: When you are both on the same team trying to accomplish the same journey and having a lot of fun on the way

etc.


IN summary - being bored with a FB is a good thing as it means you want something more from your partner and for your life

 

[disfunktional]

yendor28, thanks for your post it hit the nail on the head.

curiosity/mystery. Thus shortlived when you discover/unravel the woman (get her)

Conquest/ego. The hunt. Prove something, perhaps to yourself or to others. Shortlived.

Genuine respect/passion/love/common values and goals: When you are both on the same team trying to accomplish the same journey and having a lot of fun on the way

This is what I am not getting. In fact I've hardly had to do anything with these last couple of FB's. They have arranged most of the dates and are quite persistent - I've been pretty slack about the whole thing.

I obviously need more of what you have quoted above.