"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Bootcamp started May1st, Week #2
- Thread starter OceanWindRider
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
10/15
WOW! BC is AWESOME! Things are going great. Week 1's challenge has changed me! WEEK 1! I'm still saying hi to people and I'm more relaxed. I know initially Week 1 was somewhat challenging. Now, it is so much easier.
I even GOT OUT OF A TICKET, because I was so friendly.
WOW! BC is AWESOME! Things are going great. Week 1's challenge has changed me! WEEK 1! I'm still saying hi to people and I'm more relaxed. I know initially Week 1 was somewhat challenging. Now, it is so much easier.
I even GOT OUT OF A TICKET, because I was so friendly.
Thomas94305
Senior Don Juan
K King Tuz.. spill it. I've been getting traffic tickets about one a year. I'm courteous when I get pulled over, and never got out of a ticket. What happened??King Tuz said:
poohead
Senior Don Juan
9/15 convos
8. Brief convo with a barista at my neighborhood coffee shop about the relative merits of the light and dark roasts. He even stopped by later on and gave me some free baked goods that they were going to throw out at the end of the night, still good.
9. Brief convo - again in the elevator of the building where I live. This time with an older lady - 40ish, cute for an older lady I guess, probably married with kids though - about restaurants. She was carrying this doggy bag from a restaurant downtown I had been meaning to try, and I asked her if she enjoyed her meal there. I'm really good in the elevator situation. There are some hot girls in my building, one of these days I'm gonna game em.
8. Brief convo with a barista at my neighborhood coffee shop about the relative merits of the light and dark roasts. He even stopped by later on and gave me some free baked goods that they were going to throw out at the end of the night, still good.
9. Brief convo - again in the elevator of the building where I live. This time with an older lady - 40ish, cute for an older lady I guess, probably married with kids though - about restaurants. She was carrying this doggy bag from a restaurant downtown I had been meaning to try, and I asked her if she enjoyed her meal there. I'm really good in the elevator situation. There are some hot girls in my building, one of these days I'm gonna game em.
Alright well its been mad ****ty weather all week long so unfortunatly i havent had as many oppurtunitys but i didnt let that stop me!
So I had to go back to my rents place to visit for an early m-day. I went ot the mall with a homie of mine to get a gift. While in bath an body works i swear i opened convos with like 6 females there (none of which worked there), it was basically just asking opinions on the different products etc. 3 of the approaches were 1 minute convos, the other 3 were about 2 min each id estimate.
Earlier in subway i talked to this old lady next to me about general fluff. the weather, the crowd blablablabla. She was nice. convo was about 4 minutes.
I walked into a sunglass place and saw a girl trying some on. I opened up about different styles and she seemed cool enough..i would have gotton the digits but she mentioned where she lived and it was far away so i said F it.
Literally 30 seconds later i left the store and saw this beautiful blonde chick like 15 feet away, while i was looking at her i accidently bumped into this OTHER chick who was like a hb 7.5 and i knocked her bag on the floor. I was stunned but apologized and picked it up, Then i looked up a there and kinda smirked and said "you should watch where your going".
her jaw dropped haha. She was with her friend and i introduced myself and asked them if they were m-day shopping. My friend was in an adjecent store and he came out and we all walked around for awhile. I wasnt really interested in this chick she was too emo but she was cute nonetheless. Convo time was like 20 minutes.
so thats 15/15. I count the bath an body works a 2 convos even tho its techincally like 4. Either way i got 1 more day left, tomorrow and im gona try and do 5 more convos. i just hope the weather clears up.
So I had to go back to my rents place to visit for an early m-day. I went ot the mall with a homie of mine to get a gift. While in bath an body works i swear i opened convos with like 6 females there (none of which worked there), it was basically just asking opinions on the different products etc. 3 of the approaches were 1 minute convos, the other 3 were about 2 min each id estimate.
Earlier in subway i talked to this old lady next to me about general fluff. the weather, the crowd blablablabla. She was nice. convo was about 4 minutes.
I walked into a sunglass place and saw a girl trying some on. I opened up about different styles and she seemed cool enough..i would have gotton the digits but she mentioned where she lived and it was far away so i said F it.
Literally 30 seconds later i left the store and saw this beautiful blonde chick like 15 feet away, while i was looking at her i accidently bumped into this OTHER chick who was like a hb 7.5 and i knocked her bag on the floor. I was stunned but apologized and picked it up, Then i looked up a there and kinda smirked and said "you should watch where your going".
her jaw dropped haha. She was with her friend and i introduced myself and asked them if they were m-day shopping. My friend was in an adjecent store and he came out and we all walked around for awhile. I wasnt really interested in this chick she was too emo but she was cute nonetheless. Convo time was like 20 minutes.
so thats 15/15. I count the bath an body works a 2 convos even tho its techincally like 4. Either way i got 1 more day left, tomorrow and im gona try and do 5 more convos. i just hope the weather clears up.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
HAHA...Alright Playboy. Here it is:Thomas94305 said:
Getting out of a Ticket (un-revised version)
by: King Tuz
Believe it or not, I even managed to get away with JUST a ticket instead of being ARRESTED, on one occasion.
In my experience, it is best to just be friendly. DO NOT CALL THEM "officer", "sir", or any other name that makes your status lower and theirs higher.
Just treat them like anyone else. Even try to crack a few jokes.
It's really not that difficult. O, and another thing. NEVER EVER ADMIT YOUR FAULT.
How did I got out of the ticket?
Popo: (walks to my car)
KT: Heeey! How's it going?
Popo: (mumbles) How's it goin? (Actually, I'm not sure what he said because he was just mumbling it. All I know is that he greeted me in a somewhat cold manner. He still looked like an AFC to me.)
I can't remember who mentioned this (and if you do please let me know), but the person with the HIGHER STATUS always initiates. If you think about it, who first puts their hand out to shake your hand? Bosses do. Well I hope you get the jist of what I'm saying. BE THE FIRST TO GREET HIM.
Popo: Do you know why I pulled you over?
KT: (me thinking because I just rolled through the STOP sign) No, not really.
Popo: I pulled you over for tailgating.
KT: (me thinking, thank goodness I didn't tell him about the STOP sign...haha)
Popo: Let me see you liscence and registration.
KT: O yeah, sure! Here it is.
Popo: And your liscence.
KT: :-D o yeah. Here you go.
And basically that's how it went. I was just being a cool friendly guy.
He came back and let me off with a warning. That's all. On the other situation where I almost got arrested for driving a rental that wasn't under my name, I just treated him the same friendly manner. He told me that he could have arrested me, but he decided to give me a warning.
If you think about it, when was the last time you had a Police Officer CRACKING UP at your jokes, when he pulled you over. If he likes you, there is no reason for him to want to give you a ticket.
Whatever you do, DO NOT SUPPLICATE OR MAKE ANY EXCUSES. "But I'm late for work..." He could care less. He is doing his job and you should just let it be. However, do not give them too much RESPECT for they didn't do anything to deserve it. Treat them in a friendly manner like anyone else.
One of my friends did get away by using the "Look man, I've got to go. My girlfriend is just about to give birth do our triplets in a motel room." line. Howerver, he was VERY CONVINCING.
And that should be about it. If anything is unclear, let me know.
OceanWindRider
Don Juan
Ok, guys
10 convos is enough
We need to get through week#2 and the next week it's gonna be more fun!!
10 convos is enough
We need to get through week#2 and the next week it's gonna be more fun!!
poohead
Senior Don Juan
11/15 - so I guess I'm done :woo:
10. Lady in the elevator of my building - another discussion about the weather. She mentioned that she was sailing on the lake the other day. She seemed shocked initially that I started talking to her.
11. Guy in the laundry room of my building. I asked him questions about the new 'card system' that they recently replaced the coin changer with.
Some comments: I can't believe this seemed so intimidating at the start of the week. I would have finished easily I think, today, and I didn't even go out this weekend or deviate in any way from my regular routine (i.e., making trips to the mall or something just to talk to people). I'd still really like to develop a healthy social group whom I could party with in the bars and clubs on a regular basis, though.
I'm still a little skeptical re: whether or not the BC will actually produce HB's in my life. I do feel more confident, though. I'm beginning to realize that it's a lot easier to meet people than I originally thought - however, meeting people and being able to sustain a friendship/relationship with them without them pissing you off or vice versa is an entirely different story.
My approaches have been lame so far. I've only approached a couple of women that were even close to HB status.
On a personal note: I am quitting smoking weed today. At least for a long time - several years. I've been a daily smoker for a long time and it's time I clear my head a little and focus on getting my life together. I hope I don't have any withdrawls.
onto week 3 ...
10. Lady in the elevator of my building - another discussion about the weather. She mentioned that she was sailing on the lake the other day. She seemed shocked initially that I started talking to her.
11. Guy in the laundry room of my building. I asked him questions about the new 'card system' that they recently replaced the coin changer with.
Some comments: I can't believe this seemed so intimidating at the start of the week. I would have finished easily I think, today, and I didn't even go out this weekend or deviate in any way from my regular routine (i.e., making trips to the mall or something just to talk to people). I'd still really like to develop a healthy social group whom I could party with in the bars and clubs on a regular basis, though.
I'm still a little skeptical re: whether or not the BC will actually produce HB's in my life. I do feel more confident, though. I'm beginning to realize that it's a lot easier to meet people than I originally thought - however, meeting people and being able to sustain a friendship/relationship with them without them pissing you off or vice versa is an entirely different story.
My approaches have been lame so far. I've only approached a couple of women that were even close to HB status.
On a personal note: I am quitting smoking weed today. At least for a long time - several years. I've been a daily smoker for a long time and it's time I clear my head a little and focus on getting my life together. I hope I don't have any withdrawls.
onto week 3 ...
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
OceanWindRider said:Ok, guys
10 convos is enough
We need to get through week#2 and the next week it's gonna be more fun!!
Why only 10?
There is ONLY 5 more. Why stop short?
Also, let's see the list of who makes it on to Week 3. I have a feeling that the list got cut even shorter...
How many people have you met in your life and how many of them are your close friends? For example school. I've probably met hundreds of people through these institutions but I've got a couple of good friends out of all these people. A realistic point of view is that you're gonna end up with a couple of HB's after hundreds of approaches. That is why we are doing this bootcamp to make it a habit. If it's a habit you won't have to think about it consciously and you'll approach people on a daily basis and there is no way of not meeting somebody special out of thousands of girls.
thefonz
Master Don Juan
Ok I'm at 11/15 but I still feel obligated to find the extra 4 convos at some point so I'll post them in this thread as it happens
Holy **** I feel like ****. I was at this party last night with a few people and there was this really cute girl giving me IOI's all night. I was flirting with her/ paying attention to my friend's gf (Mystery Method) and I could tell she was diggin me, but cus of my past insecurities I still had my doubts. I was getting great social proof from my friends but I was having the hardest time coming up with convo between the 2 of us (I smoked weed earlier, BIG MISTAKE). Most of our talk was light flirting. My body language was perfect like giving her sustained eye contact (MAVEC). I wanted to # close sooo bad cus she had the type of body I love 18, light fat, perfect curves. But I couldn't think of a way to isolate her and was too scared to close in front of the 3 other people at the table so I bailed before I got the chance. This is why I"m really looking forward to week 3 so I can get this off my mind. ****. I obviously need more time to commit to this week so I'm gonna keep trying until I get comfortable with this ****. She was so into me, I just need to do that one thing.
Convo #10 - Girl at McDonald's. I never go to Mc****s but I was desperate. This girl working behind the counter was dumb as rocks. She was asking manager why DB cheesburgs were only 5cents more than regular CB's. I jumped in an said "It's cheap mcdonalds ingredients you get more for it." She proceeded to act completely retarded saying, "Ya I know...riiight." to everything I said. Whatever, I'm not judging I just thought it was funny.
Convo #11 - The first paragraph....
Not to beat a dead horse but....Intiating going well, sustaining needs more work.
Holy **** I feel like ****. I was at this party last night with a few people and there was this really cute girl giving me IOI's all night. I was flirting with her/ paying attention to my friend's gf (Mystery Method) and I could tell she was diggin me, but cus of my past insecurities I still had my doubts. I was getting great social proof from my friends but I was having the hardest time coming up with convo between the 2 of us (I smoked weed earlier, BIG MISTAKE). Most of our talk was light flirting. My body language was perfect like giving her sustained eye contact (MAVEC). I wanted to # close sooo bad cus she had the type of body I love 18, light fat, perfect curves. But I couldn't think of a way to isolate her and was too scared to close in front of the 3 other people at the table so I bailed before I got the chance. This is why I"m really looking forward to week 3 so I can get this off my mind. ****. I obviously need more time to commit to this week so I'm gonna keep trying until I get comfortable with this ****. She was so into me, I just need to do that one thing.
Convo #10 - Girl at McDonald's. I never go to Mc****s but I was desperate. This girl working behind the counter was dumb as rocks. She was asking manager why DB cheesburgs were only 5cents more than regular CB's. I jumped in an said "It's cheap mcdonalds ingredients you get more for it." She proceeded to act completely retarded saying, "Ya I know...riiight." to everything I said. Whatever, I'm not judging I just thought it was funny.
Convo #11 - The first paragraph....
Not to beat a dead horse but....Intiating going well, sustaining needs more work.
Ok, this afternoon was HARD, may it be a lesson for everyone giving up. It can be done, but it will not be easy.
So, I had 2 convos, and this morning I read 10 is enough.
Background:
This week was hell, there was a festival in my city.
I had tryed to talk with some strangers a couple times and got some bad reactions in row.
I had talked with some strangers while drunk, some girls were really into me (I was not visibly drunk), but I don't want to count those.
I didn't have a car during the week, so I couldn't go and do it when every I could.
So today, I had to do 8 convos. I really wanted to do 13 (to make 15), but that's another story.
Time: 15h I went out to the park
#3
I see a familly watching a remote car race, go near them with a loud "Hello". No one says anything. I ask some questions about the race, the father starts getting more talkative. But still nothing special. I hold a bit longer look at the race. Ask a few more questions. They're just watching the race, thei'r not rude, but not in the mood for convo. Done.
#4
Now I go for a walk in the park, my inner game is ****ed. I can say hi to people, but I can't talk to them. I decide to change venue.
When going back to my car, I see a bus stoped with door open. Say hi to the driver, he replies. I keep moving, but then turn back. Ask something about is job we chat a bit.
#5
Go to another place with lot's of bus stations near each other. Get near one, ask directions. They are nice, but I just want to get this done. People are nice, 2 old ladies and an old man. I can't get past the info stage. When I'm going out they're still calling me for extra info. I go back, chat a bit, and leave.
#6
I see another lady sitting on the bus stop, sit by her saying hello. Ask somehting, and we start chating. Notice she has an accent, and we begin chating about traveling and such.
#7
After that I go to a bar, before I get in, some guy asks me for a ciggar. I say I don't smoke, but ask him if I know him from somewhere (LOL ok...). But it was cool, we talked for like half an hour. Really smart guy.
#8
I change venue again. Pass by the stadium and the big door is open. I try to chat with one of the guys in there, but he says he is working. I get inside the stadium, chat a bit with a guy wich is preparing some sound stuph. Ask him, what's all about. He says those people should know better. Some girls arrive. I ask what's all about. They ask who am I. I say I'm just a guy passing by. They laugh, I ask if I can go inside the field and take some pictures. And there I go, in the grass, inside a stadium taking pictures.
After that I'm feeling great, see an old man eating something alone. Ask him if I can join, since I don't want to eat alone. He says he doesn't know me, so no. But he is nice, so it's cool. It's getting late and I'm getting tired, loss of energy.
#9
Change venue again. Go to another bus stop, try to chat with a lady. She's not very receptive. Luckly some old guy comes in, and we chat.
#10
Go to eat something. A soccer game as just finished on the TV, ask how it went and end up chatting for half an hour or so.
I felt really creppy and needy sometimes, but to the end I was more at ease. I think the fact I procastinated to far made things worst.
Next week I'll have more discipline. But I miss having my own car so much...
So, I had 2 convos, and this morning I read 10 is enough.
Background:
This week was hell, there was a festival in my city.
I had tryed to talk with some strangers a couple times and got some bad reactions in row.
I had talked with some strangers while drunk, some girls were really into me (I was not visibly drunk), but I don't want to count those.
I didn't have a car during the week, so I couldn't go and do it when every I could.
So today, I had to do 8 convos. I really wanted to do 13 (to make 15), but that's another story.
Time: 15h I went out to the park
#3
I see a familly watching a remote car race, go near them with a loud "Hello". No one says anything. I ask some questions about the race, the father starts getting more talkative. But still nothing special. I hold a bit longer look at the race. Ask a few more questions. They're just watching the race, thei'r not rude, but not in the mood for convo. Done.
#4
Now I go for a walk in the park, my inner game is ****ed. I can say hi to people, but I can't talk to them. I decide to change venue.
When going back to my car, I see a bus stoped with door open. Say hi to the driver, he replies. I keep moving, but then turn back. Ask something about is job we chat a bit.
#5
Go to another place with lot's of bus stations near each other. Get near one, ask directions. They are nice, but I just want to get this done. People are nice, 2 old ladies and an old man. I can't get past the info stage. When I'm going out they're still calling me for extra info. I go back, chat a bit, and leave.
#6
I see another lady sitting on the bus stop, sit by her saying hello. Ask somehting, and we start chating. Notice she has an accent, and we begin chating about traveling and such.
#7
After that I go to a bar, before I get in, some guy asks me for a ciggar. I say I don't smoke, but ask him if I know him from somewhere (LOL ok...). But it was cool, we talked for like half an hour. Really smart guy.
#8
I change venue again. Pass by the stadium and the big door is open. I try to chat with one of the guys in there, but he says he is working. I get inside the stadium, chat a bit with a guy wich is preparing some sound stuph. Ask him, what's all about. He says those people should know better. Some girls arrive. I ask what's all about. They ask who am I. I say I'm just a guy passing by. They laugh, I ask if I can go inside the field and take some pictures. And there I go, in the grass, inside a stadium taking pictures.
After that I'm feeling great, see an old man eating something alone. Ask him if I can join, since I don't want to eat alone. He says he doesn't know me, so no. But he is nice, so it's cool. It's getting late and I'm getting tired, loss of energy.
#9
Change venue again. Go to another bus stop, try to chat with a lady. She's not very receptive. Luckly some old guy comes in, and we chat.
#10
Go to eat something. A soccer game as just finished on the TV, ask how it went and end up chatting for half an hour or so.
I felt really creppy and needy sometimes, but to the end I was more at ease. I think the fact I procastinated to far made things worst.
Next week I'll have more discipline. But I miss having my own car so much...
Vacaason
New Member
FINAL REPORT:
I finished the assigment of week 2 and had about 17 conversations this week. I started almost all conversations with a "Hi" and did some other "Hi's" as well so this also means that I finished the 20 Hi's that I still had to do from week 1.
As with the Hi's I noticed that in some settings I have little trouble starting a conversation. For example, I am taking dancing lessons and 8 of my conversations I did there. I just walked up to a girl, asked if she wanted to dance and while dancing had a nice conversation with her. Only 1 of those conversations was a bit awkward because the girl just wasn't very talkative.
Conversations in other public and crowded places remain more difficult for me, but I tried some anyway. 5 of my conversations where in the train on my way to work or back home, four of them with older people (for some reason older people in the train are more responsive than young people).
Had one convo with a lady in the supermarket, 2 with people walking their dog and tried 1 on a busy street but this failed (the girl just blew me off and walked on). I am not sure if I reached the 2 minute time limit on all conversations, most conversations were rather short. I had planned to do some longer convo's this weekend, but I didn't do them. The thing is that I haven't been feeling very well the last couple of days. I have very little energy and feel like I can sleep day and night. Unless things improve in the next few days I don't think I will continue with week 3 just yet. I will make my final decision on this in a couple of days.
I finished the assigment of week 2 and had about 17 conversations this week. I started almost all conversations with a "Hi" and did some other "Hi's" as well so this also means that I finished the 20 Hi's that I still had to do from week 1.
As with the Hi's I noticed that in some settings I have little trouble starting a conversation. For example, I am taking dancing lessons and 8 of my conversations I did there. I just walked up to a girl, asked if she wanted to dance and while dancing had a nice conversation with her. Only 1 of those conversations was a bit awkward because the girl just wasn't very talkative.
Conversations in other public and crowded places remain more difficult for me, but I tried some anyway. 5 of my conversations where in the train on my way to work or back home, four of them with older people (for some reason older people in the train are more responsive than young people).
Had one convo with a lady in the supermarket, 2 with people walking their dog and tried 1 on a busy street but this failed (the girl just blew me off and walked on). I am not sure if I reached the 2 minute time limit on all conversations, most conversations were rather short. I had planned to do some longer convo's this weekend, but I didn't do them. The thing is that I haven't been feeling very well the last couple of days. I have very little energy and feel like I can sleep day and night. Unless things improve in the next few days I don't think I will continue with week 3 just yet. I will make my final decision on this in a couple of days.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Oh man this was a bad week for me, I only had 1 conversation with a stranger totally random off the street. I talk to lots of people at work (bartending) but I don't think that counts because it is part of my job. I am going to try and tie weeks 2 and 3 together and hope for about 15 random convos.
--Mission
--Mission
Thomas94305
Senior Don Juan
Final Report
18/15 convos done..
Posted about first 7 previously.
Thursday, convo 8/15, Guy at coffee shop. I do research in wireless. He saw technical papers I had scattered about. He's a programmer. We chatted about wireless stuff, kinda dry guy convo. Lasted about 8 minutes
Thursday, convo 9/15, Gal at coffee shop. Opened with "what's in the paper", she was reading a newspaper. Discussed a few things there. Told a story about a professor I knew, who saved time reading the paper by asking his wife every morning the same question.
Friday, 10-12/15, out with friends, met some new people. Just general fluff about what's going on lately, weekend plans, etc. Lasted around 10 minutes each.
Saturday, 13-18/15.
13/15 Walking along a sidewalk in the daytime. Saw a woman at SBUX with a dog. Walked over to her and talked about the dog. Mixed breed. I love dogs, so was a natural thing. Felt good about this one. It was more of a street approach. Most of my convos are at a coffee shop, or some social activity where people are there to mix. 2 minutes.
Sat eve, did salsa in San Francisco, a place just south of Golden Gate park.. as if you guys would know it.
14, 15/15 Spoke with two guys at different times. Talked about salsa, what each does for fun, asking women to dance, etc. Lasted 5-10 minutes each.
16-18/15 Spoke with 3 different gals. Convo's were more like.. how long you been doing salsa, what you do for fun, where you from, where were you born, etc etc. One gal and I ended up sitting on a couch for half an hour or more. We went into many different topics about life in the city, moving around, she was born in Indonesia, etc. Number closed on her.
Hi'd many others at the salsa. Opened many others too.. guessing around 7, but little follow up convo. Danced with many others. But, convo before and during dancing was not flowing, just comments here and there; we weren't vibing.
18/15 convos done..
Posted about first 7 previously.
Thursday, convo 8/15, Guy at coffee shop. I do research in wireless. He saw technical papers I had scattered about. He's a programmer. We chatted about wireless stuff, kinda dry guy convo. Lasted about 8 minutes
Thursday, convo 9/15, Gal at coffee shop. Opened with "what's in the paper", she was reading a newspaper. Discussed a few things there. Told a story about a professor I knew, who saved time reading the paper by asking his wife every morning the same question.
Friday, 10-12/15, out with friends, met some new people. Just general fluff about what's going on lately, weekend plans, etc. Lasted around 10 minutes each.
Saturday, 13-18/15.
13/15 Walking along a sidewalk in the daytime. Saw a woman at SBUX with a dog. Walked over to her and talked about the dog. Mixed breed. I love dogs, so was a natural thing. Felt good about this one. It was more of a street approach. Most of my convos are at a coffee shop, or some social activity where people are there to mix. 2 minutes.
Sat eve, did salsa in San Francisco, a place just south of Golden Gate park.. as if you guys would know it.
14, 15/15 Spoke with two guys at different times. Talked about salsa, what each does for fun, asking women to dance, etc. Lasted 5-10 minutes each.
16-18/15 Spoke with 3 different gals. Convo's were more like.. how long you been doing salsa, what you do for fun, where you from, where were you born, etc etc. One gal and I ended up sitting on a couch for half an hour or more. We went into many different topics about life in the city, moving around, she was born in Indonesia, etc. Number closed on her.
Hi'd many others at the salsa. Opened many others too.. guessing around 7, but little follow up convo. Danced with many others. But, convo before and during dancing was not flowing, just comments here and there; we weren't vibing.
Thomas94305
Senior Don Juan
Reflections and questions on the convos/socializing
Agree strongly with Migel about just relaxing.. There's all this stuff posted at this website about C&F, telling stories, etc. But, just getting into a convo, and making each other relaxed is the key for now. When I talk with even the more attractive gals, I've never gotten a rude response. Interest isn't lost because I'm not using C&F. I just feel kinda uptight, and am not vibing with her. So, the convo is just awkward, and I eject. If I was more relaxed, I'd be able to walk away, and come back later to continue, like at parties, etc.
Continuing with the hi's has been great. So, will continue having convo's with anyone in the coming weeks. Gotta build up those socializing muscles.
Personally I want to open groups more, and HBs. Hi's are my starting point for now on this.
Most of our convo's here are about this and that, just chit chat. We're not hitting the C&F or trying to evoke emotions by telling interesting stories, etc. Just an observation. I think the most important thing is to get out there and do "almost anything". Deal with the charm and poise later.
As I create more opportunities, I see many more opportunities that I'm missing. How do you guys deal with this mentally? I said in an earlier post, that patience and persistence are skills of a DJ. But, I'm not good at taking my own advice. I tend to kick myself, and I am not sure how to let go of that; it's not constructive. For example, at my salsa outing, the gal I talked with for half an hour was not the one I was most attracted to. There was another gal that I talked with for several minutes, and would loved to have talked more, number closed her, etc. But, I choked. I'm seeing gals I want to talk with, that are sitting near me, at common social events, etc; and I can't seem to go and say hi.
Agree strongly with Migel about just relaxing.. There's all this stuff posted at this website about C&F, telling stories, etc. But, just getting into a convo, and making each other relaxed is the key for now. When I talk with even the more attractive gals, I've never gotten a rude response. Interest isn't lost because I'm not using C&F. I just feel kinda uptight, and am not vibing with her. So, the convo is just awkward, and I eject. If I was more relaxed, I'd be able to walk away, and come back later to continue, like at parties, etc.
Continuing with the hi's has been great. So, will continue having convo's with anyone in the coming weeks. Gotta build up those socializing muscles.
Personally I want to open groups more, and HBs. Hi's are my starting point for now on this.
Most of our convo's here are about this and that, just chit chat. We're not hitting the C&F or trying to evoke emotions by telling interesting stories, etc. Just an observation. I think the most important thing is to get out there and do "almost anything". Deal with the charm and poise later.
As I create more opportunities, I see many more opportunities that I'm missing. How do you guys deal with this mentally? I said in an earlier post, that patience and persistence are skills of a DJ. But, I'm not good at taking my own advice. I tend to kick myself, and I am not sure how to let go of that; it's not constructive. For example, at my salsa outing, the gal I talked with for half an hour was not the one I was most attracted to. There was another gal that I talked with for several minutes, and would loved to have talked more, number closed her, etc. But, I choked. I'm seeing gals I want to talk with, that are sitting near me, at common social events, etc; and I can't seem to go and say hi.
OceanWindRider
Don Juan
Ok, recruits, the time is coming up!
How have you all been doing?
How have you all been doing?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.