Bootcamp started May1st, Week #2

[JayCamx23]

0 convos so far. i have to get out in the afternoon this weekend cuz im working friday and sat night :cuss: . wanted to go to the club, as usual, on saturday night. not happenin. i have to try. cant quit. just have to find a way to get out.

 

[evil]

Final Results

15/15 convos completed

as i said before this week seemed easier for me.
either i am a chatter box, or australians are very friendly.

my strategy was to talk to people who were a captive audience, & seemed bored. eg: standing waiting for a lift, standing in the lift, sitting on a park bench , sitting on a bench at the mall, etc.
most people seemed happy that i made an effort to initiate contact.

only 2 were HB's though. 1 was easy because i had been on a roll chatting to people. the other was harder, so i hade to keep telling myself that " i'm not chatting her up, I'm not getting her number, I'm just being friendly!" & that made me able to approach alot easier.

 

[poohead]

2/15 so far

1. Girl who works with me, whom I never see or speak to, standing next to a bunch of empty boxes. Brief 2 min. convo about why she needs the boxes, turns out she's moving, and needs the boxes for packing stuff. She's also married, I found out.

2. Homeless lady on the street asking for change. I talked to her briefly about how she is doing, and how she's looking for a job.

Questions for you guys:

-best places to find people to approach?
-what are your typical opening lines?

 

[poohead]

3/15 convos

3. Short 1-2 convo with a guy in line at the cafeteria in the building where I work. I saw he was putting cream in his tea and I made some comments about how most people don't do that. Basic chit chat.

 

[King Tuz]

3/15

I was at some school ceremony. The guy near me was someone I've seen around, but never have really talked to. It was a short convo about what was going on.

2 Things that I learned from this Conversation

Number One: Always be in a FUN and HAPPY mood.

Number Two: NEVER have the attitude of "I NEED to talk to someone (so I can get Bootcamp done). Instead have the "Who is going to be the next lucky person that gets to talk to me?" & "Who's day am I going to make next?"

 

[Thomas94305]

2/15Questions for you guys:

-best places to find people to approach?
-what are your typical opening lines?

My best places to approach:
Cool coffee shop in my area. There's one area with some couches that face each other.. so anyone sitting down there is already sort of facing you. Convo's natural. This coffee shop also has an open ledge around the roaster where people plug in their laptops.. Or, talking while waiting in line, etc.. Approaching people already at tables is more difficult, since they are already in a somewhat closed group.

I also stay on email lists for various group activities. New peeps there. Again, relaxed sociable environment.

Street approaches are difficult for me, people are on a mission, and I need to gain the courage to break them out of that. I also need to get better at opening groups.. that's probably the biggest skill I wanna pick up, since people travel in packs.

I tend to avoid bars, but lots of people here do well at that. If the club's too loud, which is often true, you have to shout and that's just not friendly. Also, there's this whole dynamic where some women go to be hit on, with no intent of responding, etc... I do some salsa, which leads me to club atmospheres.. but I focus on places where the music is low enough I can talk, and where people are standing around mixing outside of their friends circle anyhow. More advanced DJs might make something of the loud clubs. Then again, I'm not going for an f**k close. I need a venue where I can find out about the person, qualify her.

Bottom line, I look for places where people are more relaxed about meeting new people, more stationary, less threatened by "outsiders".

Convo openers: Hi.. in a coffee shop, I'll ask what you're reading/working on? Usually I start with a friendly hi, then lead to something that's "socially appropriate"... if it's a salsa venue, ask about dancing, what she likes for fun. If it's campus, ask about classes, midterms, plans for spring break, etc.

Art of Approach gives all these opinion openers. PUA stuff gives their games. Dunno, might be worth a try. But the above is what I do.

Tom

 

[Thomas94305]

flippinfreak: maybe you need to raise the difficulty a bit for yourself LOL. Try for example: talking about masturbation within the first minute of an encounter .

OK Migel.. how would your masturbation opener work? Give it a shot.. pun intended :crackup:

.. Hey, how you doing? I just wanted to talk with you because I don't want to paint the ceiling over some stranger....

Opinion opener: Who masturbates more, men or women? Can go into how men do it more frequently, women do it longer.

 

[Migel]

These convos are a hard thing for me. Sometimes it's easy sometimes it is impossible. I need to make a systematic approach without worring about the results. That will make it easier.
I discovered a mind-hack today to overcome fear and do what you want. I didn't test it well because I did it when I was coming back home in a bus. I used it to maintain a really long sexual eye contact with an attractive girl, which I never did before. I'll test it tomorrow and I'll tell you what it is, if it works for starting convos.
My count so far: 11/15.

Thomas94305: Hehe the opener is for flippinfreak not for me, we need to give him more assignments ).
What about something simple: Hey babe, wanna masturbate each other?

 

[poohead]

6/15

4. Guard at the front door to the building where I work. I asked her questions about when the building will be open over the weekend and what I need to do to get in the building.

5. I stopped a lady walking on the street and asked her how do i get to such and such building on such and such street. Stretched the convo out by playing *really* dumb about street names.

6. Big breasted lady in the elevator of my apartment building. I made small talk with her about the lousy weather we've been having in Chicago. This one was close to being a HB/MILF.

 

[yrock181]

i know that i haven't been posting all my bootcamp reports. i haven't had time becuase this is the last week of school. but i have completed all 15/15 convos with people. i have done all my approaches on campus and train mostly.
one convo that sticks out was today, i approached a lady who was reading neil strauss book The game.

Me: what is that book about?
she: is a book thats suppose to help guys pick up women.
me: do you think their methods work?
her: i guess, i still haven't gotten to the part that they talk about that .
me: cool. i know it must be weird having guys reading books on women you should write you own.
her:no i think this one is good enough.

we carried this convo for like 25 minutes. i stiill have alot of sarging to do since i still hesitate a little. My problem is that i think too much before i do something. any of you having the same problem.

 

[King Tuz]

4/15

This is actually two different situations but due to their short lenght, I decided that two of these would equal one.

Anways, the first convo was with one of the school secretary/teacher. I had a short convo with her about scheduling for the following year.

The second was at a B&N. There was a little kid (HB7). HAHAHA :crackup:! Nah, I'm just pulling your chain. So anyway, there is this little kid that is climbing one of the really tall ladders trying to get a book. The ladder was stading on ONE leg! I save the friggen' kid's LIFE! I told him to come down and I'd get the book for him, and yaddy yaddy ya.


Let's Go Fellas! As mentioned before. It takes 21 days to change. All we need to do is make it through Week 3 and WE WILL BE NEW MEN! Of course, we won't stop at Week 3, but how exciting is that? In about a WEEK you will be NEW & IMPROVED!

Let's Finish It Guys!

 

[TheFlyingMan]

i only got about 4 more last night. Been sick the whole week and stayed home mostly, but forced myself to go out with a few friends to a jazz bar. Tried to start a convo with a HB (could be a prostitute there with some rich old men) with a slight neg hit, saying she slouched a little bit at the bar but she just ignored me. Dunno if that counts, so I'm not counting it.

I had 2 convos at with the 2 singers at the bar. They took turns singing and I talked to them during their respective breaks. Simple "great voice" compliment.

Then started a convo with another average looking gal but soon found out she was in a 6 year LTR so I ejected.

 

[TheFlyingMan]

I might need a few days more to finish this week, is that OK guys? Due to my sickness I lost a lot of days!

 

[OceanWindRider]

i know that i haven't been posting all my bootcamp reports. i haven't had time becuase this is the last week of school. but i have completed all 15/15 convos with people. i have done all my approaches on campus and train mostly.
one convo that sticks out was today, i approached a lady who was reading neil strauss book The game.

Me: what is that book about?
she: is a book thats suppose to help guys pick up women.
me: do you think their methods work?
her: i guess, i still haven't gotten to the part that they talk about that .
me: cool. i know it must be weird having guys reading books on women you should write you own.
her:no i think this one is good enough.

we carried this convo for like 25 minutes. i stiill have alot of sarging to do since i still hesitate a little. My problem is that i think too much before i do something. any of you having the same problem.

Hey, congratulations on completing the task!!!
Damn, that was a good talk, you should have gamed her if she was hot.
Actually, when Style was presenting his book in Seattle, there were guys from the Seattle Lair and there was a girl who heard about it and she ended up following us to a restaurant - so she could hang out with guys. I was actually really curious what interests her that much.
That was fun as almost everyone tried to run the game on her and she was the center of attention for some time.

And, on another occassion, my friend docandwriter and me were meeting his friend (HB, but long time LJBF for him). So she was like

HB: WTF is seduction you're talking about?

docandwriter: Let me show you. You know when you think about something it goes in your head, but when you actually feel stuff it goes right from your body .... (spinoff of incredible connection pattern)

HB: Yeah, it's all BS, I don't believe it, i don't think this way, i am not this kind of girl, blah, blah

docandwriter: yeah, this is your mind talking. But when you start feeling, really feeling the connection from your body (continues improvising off incredible connection pattern)

HB (with glazed eyes): Keep going...

Well, she was in trance, she totally did not expect that and it just blew her mind and then she could not let go of docandwriter for the whole night

This is what I usually use for my inspiration

Well, that's in the future - we go through the bootcamp first, learn to talk normally with the girls. Then learn speed seduction or whatever else later )

 

[Thomas94305]

Calling a time out

I'm at my favorite coffee shop this morning to study.. and.. the gay bikers showed up :trouble: I $hyt U not.. you're my favorite tvrds..

I'm in Palo Alto, CA. It's at the northern end of the Silly-Con valley, about 30 miles south of San Francisco. There's this gay bicycling club. About every 6 weeks, they do a "ride".. the double-entendres there, how sick. They stop at this coffee shop after. I forgot about them. The last time this happened, I sat around with some of the regulars and cracked gay jokes. One of them is sucking a popsickle right now.. gross.

A DJ is in control, and knows when NOT to open. I'm calling a time out guys.. Thanks to week 1, I'm in the habit of strong EC with everyone... putting a lid on that for now too..

 

[Blue Dude]

Sign off

Hi, I'm kinda signing off. I just can't seem to get over hi ffs! I got like 3 hi in the last 3 days. The thing is, the whole situation about saying hi seems so unnatular. Anyways, I cant follow you guys atm so I'll be doing my own BC another time.

So a bit of history to explain how lame I am. Just this morning I woke up with a bit of headache after friday night and first thing I did was jeark off, but then I put on Devid DeAngelo's semiars on DVD and started watching again. After a couple of hours I was feeling so hyped I got dressed and started to go out. But on my way out I heard somebody in the kitchen (I live in a student thingy and share kitchen with 10 others) so I decide, I'll start RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW and go say hi the to person. So I went in said hi, some small talk and went off. Now I was feeling like 1 million dollars and was telling my self I'll me haveing 50 hi in no time. So, as SOON AS I GET OUTSIDE OF MY BUILDING there is this cute chick sitting on the wall waiting for somebody or something and I frease! I cant get the words out. And all the way as I walk by her I am thinking "say it say it say it" and thinking about 3 sec rule, and then once I am past her I was thinking "man, I'm a loser. I aint gonna get none of those 50 hi". So, I get downtown, go thru mall, main streets, everywhere and how many do I say hi to? Not one! And the sun is shining and all the girls are in bikings so to speak but I am shiatless scared.

So after a couple of hourse I gave up.

I'm a loser baby and I know it. :crazy:

 

[thefonz]

Blue Dude, just relax and stop trying to percieve every little situation as a 'sign' of your improvement or failure. You aren't going to suddenly realize one day, "I'm a DJ" because it will creep up on you while you're too busy going for your goals, stop being so critical of these minor incidents and just go out there and make a constant EVERYDAY effort to talk to people. I hope you come back to this soon, but loose the self-defeating talk first.

As for me.....

9/15

Shiat....I had none yesterday except for a few failed convos until I called it quits for the day (which I now regret). I had a few convos with people I sort of knew but I"m not counting those either. I'm finding convos with strangers on the street are generally situational and more about being aware of the present scenario.:rock:

As for today I went to barnes and noble and started reading, "The Game" and that got me back the motivation i was looking for. Pissed out of talking to an old lady in line cus I didn't want others to see me failing another convo (need to work here). Tried starting up one with the cashier but mumbled over some of my words in the follow-up response (another area of concern) so it died out. Went to d'angelo's and cracked a joke with cashier to start convo, she laughed but just gave recept and said have a good day. But started a convo with the kid cleaning tables about the Red Sox and that lasted for 10 minutes. Felt good and thuoght I'd get more at the gym but it was closed. So hopefully I'll get some in tonight when I go out. I still got a day and a half to go and don't plan on getting kicked out in week 2:nono:

PROS: Still initiating, not giving up, practicing and preparing
CONS: Still baling on oppurtunies, focusing on too many different areas of self-improvement, must commit to this for the moment, still worrying about bombing convos in front of others, I tend to lie in some of my convos to keep them going, speaking in incoherent manner....am getting too many "What?" for responses.

 

[Thomas94305]

BlueDude.. I agree with theFonz...

The first 10 hi's were about as hard as the last 40 for me. Give yourself warm-ups... Say hi to your Mom, your Dad, your roommate.. Say hi's to sales people.. Say hi's to your neighbors.. friends.. etc etc. Just get your jaw moving. When I started, and felt uncomfortable about saying hi's, if I could not get off a hi, I'd just mouth the word, or maybe mumble it after the person passed.

See where I'm headed with this? Think of this as a muscle. If you are not used to using your Hi muscle, it will be atrophied. Start with the simplest situations, saying hi where you can. Do it with familiar people, or people like sales clerks who are paid to talk with you. Try mumbling it or just mouthing the word inaudibly. Move on to saying hi to that friendly elderly lady, that UG, whomever. And try some eye contact.

No one in their right mind goes to the gym, having never lifted weights, and tries to bench press their own weight. I lift weights regular. If I took a newbie to the gym, and expected him to keep up with me.. it's not shame on him for the result, it's shame on me.. Allow your social muscles some time to strengthen... Don't worry about all 50 hi's. Just worry about the next hi to any person you can manage. Just keep at it, and you'll be in fine shape. Patience and persistence are also DJ skills.

 

[poohead]

7/15

7. Brief convo with a guy in the elevator of my building about what to wear outside and - yet again - the crappy weather we've been having recently.

 

[Migel]

I have 14 or 15 convos. I don't really know. I had some beers today and can't recall some of the approaches. The thing about alcohol for me is that it doesn't do anything for removing the fear it just helps to forget quicker what I've just done. Good for dealing with embarassment but that's all.

Most of my convos are really semiconvos. It's not like there is a real discussion but I'm breaking through my comfort zones constantly. There is a million things to talk about and if you go blank or don't know what to say next it is just because you are not feeling COMFORTABLE talking to a stranger. If I approach a person and he catches on my vibe and is friendly we can talk for hours because we are comfortable. Also you are comfortable with friends and family that's why you can talk to them easily about anything. So my point is: don't worry about having good or long conversations, completing this bootcamp is just a process which makes you more and more comfortable. I don't see any short-cut, just approach people constantly and have the most awkward conversations in the world but it is worth it, you will look one day back at this and laugh because you will know that you've done good.