Bootcamp started May1st, Week #1 - Developing / Conveying Confidence

[Bourne]

EC is complete!

 

[PrEcIsIoN22]

Completed all my EC since it was within my comfort zone.
Final Result on EC 50/50

Went for what turned out to be a long walk, 80 some odd blocks. Didn't seem like it though, I was having a good time. At first I was saying Hi under my breath as a I passed girls, then it gradually got louder as I got further out of my neighborhood. Hi really is harder than I'd think, cause you just say it and keep on going. In any case it seems like whoevers started has done a good job so far, gave me that little push to get out there. I tried yesterday unsuccessfully, didn't let it get me down. Went out today and I stand at 29/50 Hi's

I'll get it done tmrw for sure. Feels good to have a spring in my step. Facing fear:woo: and :boxknocking) it out:trouble:
-Precision

 

[Migel]

Great, keep it going guys! We've got little time left so just say the Hi's to whoever you see. I had a problem with my final Hi's because I was trying to raise my bar and ran out of targets. So finish it and lets get to week 2!

For the record:
FINAL RESULT:
ECs - a lot, didn't count,
50/50 Hi's

"We are the sum of our habits"
Aristotle

 

[Thomas94305]

FlippinFreak, OceanWindRider, Migel.. Thanks for the input on the self-talk. I dunno.. After I did that post (#105 of this thread), I went out to do some more hi's. I was in MUCH better form. I'll post the details below, but dang, the talk did help <shrug>.

FlippinFreak, I acknowledge when I'm talking with someone, I can't have my mind divided between just being with her, and psyching myself up. I need to be there. I'm not there yet. This self talk is something to help me along until my confidence is stronger. We'd all agree crawling is VERY poor form for an olympic runner. But, the last thing I'd do is put a 2 year old in a sprinter's block. S/he needs to crawl, then walk and learn balance, etc.

You (FlippinFreak) and I face two very different boot camps. You're facing it.. having.. already.. done.. over.. 10.. bootcamps. I'm facing it.. having..already.. done.. 0. I don't have the resource that you've earned.

What do you use when you found approaching, or opening your mouth difficult? I know.. practice, practice, practice. But you gotta grow the nads to even just practice... proof of that is the boot camp drop out rate. Can you give me something more than "practice"?

BTW FlippinFreak, my SN is just my first name plus my zip code. I just grabbed that last September to get me signed into SoSuave. I'm considering other screen names, need one with more personality.

Hi's Friday... 8 that I remember, several others, but not counting. Some more memorable ones: Just after writing my post on self talk, I felt more comfortable with the situation. I had to get to a meeting early in the morning on my campus, and so did not have time to shower.. looked like crap. Anyhow, I gave a very strong hi to 4 different HB8+'s.. with good outcome. One was a *VERY* attractive woman of color, dressed quite wel, around 20.. da bling bling black girl. She was walking the other way.. stopped, turned, and gave me a "haaayyy". A couple of others just gave me solid hi's. A fourth gave me the warm smile and EC. Feels good. Lesson: Even when I look crappy, give 'em a "without a doubt" strong hello, and they take you seriously.. with the hi back. It feels quite male to do something I want, regardless of how I look.. give me a moment to adjust the underwear, I feel my huevos growing.

Hi'd another woman.. she had dark glasses on. As I was walking by, she gave me one of those sideways glares.. keeping her head forward, I could see her eyes under the dark glasses staring at me.. Man, some women have issues. After I passed her, I felt awkward.. I went through my self talk of how I haven't been harmed. I shook it off easier then. Now, I feel a little wierd about her, but just think some women don't know how to act around a happy guy...

WTF.. An observation.. I'm EC'ing people out of habit. As I'm writing this, I'm at a coffee shop, and have been looking up from time to time into women's eyes. I'm doing it unapologetically..just wanting to look at a woman's face.. and they just naturally EC me back, often smiling... This is cool!

Hi's.. 43/50 so far.. EC's combined with Hi's.. so that's done.

 

[yoMaxPower]

I have just gotten started on the assignment for this week. Finals started this morning with a Math test in the morning. I put in about 80 hours working on various research projects due throughout the past week, blah blah no-one should care.
Anyways I have today and tomorrow to complete the assignment. I spent an hour walking around campus, and a local mall getting EC. There was nothing too special about it. By the end of the hour I think I could out stare a fish. What scared me the most is that I was way too scared to say hi to anyone. I thought this was weird, and I was totally humbled by the assignment. Hopefully tomorrow I can crank out 50 hellos.

 

[JayCamx23]

done...>50 out of 50. got about 10 at church today plus about 6 or 7 at the restaurant. prolly about 60 overall for the week. week 2 begin today or monday??

 

[TheFlyingMan]

I got in another 10-15 at the club on friday, and also managed to number close the coutner girl at burger king afterwards...she was just average, about a 5, but hey who cares.

Went to the mall today and sure enough I had to build up my courage again, but it was a lot easier, got in around 4 or 5 more before it closed. I might have to go out again tonight to fulfill the 50 quota. I think I'm at 25-30, hard to remember when I'm drunk haha.

 

[OceanWindRider]

Team final results for week #1: (To be edited as more and more people complete the bootcamp)

Team's FINAL RESULTS moved here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=99936

For all who completed week#1 assignment, you can start week #2.
Read all the articles for week #1 and for week#2.
Then go out and complete the assignments as described in the DJ Bootcamp PDF!
I won't make a thread with the new assignments until late Monday PST most probably.

... and for the rest of you who has not finished yet..
Get off your BUT, go out and do the task, recruits!!!

 

[don juan jr]

Ec count: 18
Hi count: 10

Where i live i never see people saying "hi" to each other, which is not to say that it doesn't happen, just not very often. its kind of tough in this kind of environment. Today i had the perfect opportunity to get a lot of "hi's." I dropped off my mom at work at santa monica. after i dropped her off i cruised the beach streets for about an hour. i just couldn't force myself out of the car to walk on foot. i know that if i did that i would have gotten some hi's. tomorrow i have to work so i don't think i can finish the assignment.

 

[Migel]

did not have time to shower.. looked like crap. Anyhow, I gave a very strong hi to 4 different HB8+'s.. with good outcome.

I think you gave yourself the answer. You didn't care about anything so you did it. I bet that if you dressed up like a homeless man and grew a 2 feet long beard you would have no problem with saying hi. The resisitance is created because of our illusion of perfection. There is a great post about this here from icepick: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=21189.
I hope this is gonna work for week 2. This is my first bootcamp too so it will be hard!

 

[evil]

Final Results

EC: pretty much everyone i walk pass

Hi: 50/50

as migel said "HABIT IS ALL".
it seems to be almost a habit now to just be happy & nice to people when I'm walking around on the street!

 

[thefonz]

Alright, I went to the mall this morning and finished up.....

53/50 Hi's/Hey what's up/How's it goin'/What's goin on
I wasn't even keeping count of EC's....too many

The extra 3 were because I said hi to one girls who was talking on her phone and 2 store employees (which I said I wasn't going to count so I banged out a few more. I still don't feel like I've MASTERED this yet so I'm gonna keep doing 5 a day until it becomes damn near second nature

My favorite moment from this exercise was when I was in the mall and I saw 2 HB's walking towards me.....I told myself I was gonna throw out a "hi' and JUST as I was gonna blurt it out some guy comes out of a store by our side and goes, "Heeeey!"(to the girls) and they giggled and walked away from him. Sonofa***** stole my hi, lol. It just goes to show that the competition is fierce out there and this bootcamp is gonna help all of us in the long run.

To everyone having trouble racking up numbers.....just concerntrate on getting at least 5 hi's in rather than 50, once you get through those 5 it gets much much easier. Just do it. Even if you don't get 50 don't fret about it, my first bootcamp I only got about 34 in week 1. Don't give up. Just because no one else says hi don't feel like you have to conform, I walked through some pretty shady negihborhoods myself and gave out hi's, there's a mixture of friendly and unfriendly people so don't stereotype where you live as an excuse

Congrat's to flip, migel, jay, evil, thomas, and everyone else who completed week 1.....I'll meet you on the other side.

 

[varius]

hi ppl. i see things get going nicely

i completed EC... not much of a problem.

but didnt have time for Hi's. managed to go out once, on friday's night... 1 hi:/ but I've grinded HB6.5 from my dorm in front of her boyfriend(also from my dorm, even from my group in school)

no time next week either to much projects and tests:/ i'll have some time on friday... i'll try to catch up with you guys or just go bc for myself.

 

[Genji]

All right! Some of you are starting to complete the assignment! Good job guys! I'm up to 36 hi's and a butt load of EC! I'm going out now to knock out the last 14 hi's! I'm in a terrific mood, so this shouldn't take long!

 

[Thomas94305]

Final Results, week 1

Completed my Hi's yesterday (May 6).

Final results:
50/50 Hi's
EC's combined with Hi's, so numerous, DONE.

Will continue the Hi's this week. Our biggest obstacle here is FEAR, not skill. I have the skill to say hi, I've been speaking English long enough. This exercise avoids the skill questions, and simply addresses the fear question.

Started the convo's. Was at church this morning. Had a lengthy one with one older, married woman. Got into her kids and driving. She doesn't like teenagers driving at 16. Said I started at age 13. She went through the normal stuff about people not being responsible these days. I redirected, and talked about people I knew having their teenagers chip in for gas, tires, insurance, etc on the car. Getting a summer job and a limited/reasonable amount of responsibility worked there. Cleaned up stuff like abusing the car.

Kind of stuffy convo. Not the thing for attraction. I don't like being preachy either.. but "she started it" :box: . Attraction's not the point this week, tho. I'm just worrying about loosening up my jaws and talking.

Initiated with a couple other people, didn't have it go far. I had a friendly approach. Got little more than a grunt in response. Guess I could ask for opinions, etc to get more from them. But, before that, I don't want to be rattled by a weak response.. just let go of the anxiety, and I'll see clearer what to do.

I've read through all this stuff on making good convo's. The basics are things like asking open ended questions, paying attention and taking advantage of free info the other person gives, asking opinions, getting into good feelings, etc. This week, I'm not going to worry too much about that. I'm going to focus on relaxing, and opening up convo's. I seem to do well with friends, so I'll pay attention to those convo's too for what makes those convo's longer.

Please comment away on your mindsets going into convo's. Is it more of the friendly drunken guy that worked in the hi's? I'm thinking honestly wanting to know something of the other person, and no demands on outcome, helps.

Week 2 convo's: 1/10

 

[Julian]

Honestly guys i havent kept count of my hi's. Over the last 2 weeks It could be anywhere from 35 hi's, to 75 hi's. All i know is that i greet people on the daily so i feel like the mission is accomplished.

Its sunday so post up the bootcamp for week 2! Im ready to go.

heres a quick lession i learned again (for the 10th time). NEVER FREEZE UP. Today i was in a coffee shop getting some ice cream and this chick kind of butted in and asked for something from the barista girl. So she's friendly right away and actually calls me a BRAT! So im like "wow ur rude" and we are just busting eachhothers balls you know some flirty convo.

Well she looks latina, kinda like eva mendes, she had a nice big rack and ass and nice feet too. So anyway she goes and sits down, i sit down adjacent to her and this is where my situation goes bad.

After about 30 second of fumbling thru my bag organizing my **** im like "can u watch my stuff for like 30 seconds" and went outside to make a quick phonecall and make a gameplan.

So i return and she is looking thru her cell phone, i just say thanks and she says no prob. Then she gets on her cell and like 3 seconds later i getup and go.

Wack as hell i know. The quote i was thinking afterwards was "it feels worse to not approach then it does to be rejected".

So remember fellas always go for it. Be bold for real.

 

[DJnoobie420]

Hey, i managed to get 31 hi's, and 50/50 Eye contacts...i wont be able to finish probably till tomorrow, is every one alright with it?
Reason: school/work

 

[Vacaason]

FINAL RESULTS

EC count: >100
staring battles lost: about 15
staring battles won: also around 15
Hi's count: about 30

Even though I did not got the required 50 Hi's I still consider this first week to be a success. I will explain why.

ECs: I started on Wednesday with the ECs on my way to and from work. I use the train to get there, so plenty of opportunity to establish EC. I had no problem establishing eye contact with women, men on the other hand were slightly more difficult. I guess I didn't want them to think I was interested in them or something. After a while this got better even though I still find women easier than men. Another problem was that at first I couldn't get myself to keep looking at someone when they would return my gaze for more than 2 seconds. I would automatically look away when this happened, so I decided to work on this. On Friday I went downtown to some busy shopping streets filled with people. This turned out not to be a good choice because almost everybody is looking at the store windows. I tried to do some Hi's instead, but this didn't work either (more on this later). So in the end, I decided to go the the railway station. I posted myself near the exit and pretended to be waiting for someone. This worked perfectly! Lots of ECs from people leaving the station and I reached 50 in no time! Unfortunately only 2 staring battles, but this time I did win them! On Saturday I went out and walked around a few shops again. I now noticed that occasionally EC was automatic. For the longer stares I still need to be sharp and focused though.

Hi's: At first all my attention was on the EC. I did get about 4 or 5 relatively easy Hi's at work (I recently started to work in an office building that contains a number of other companies, so plenty of strangers) and a few near the place where I live. Since these first few Hi's were so easy, I decided to make it more difficult for myself. So when I was downtown on Friday, I tried to do the Hi's on a busy street. I failed miserably! I totally chickend out and could not get a single Hi out of my mouth. Asking a stranger for directions, no problem, but only saying Hi and then nothing, I just couldn't do it. The next day, I decided to try again. This time I chose a slightly less crowded street. At first I chickened out again. I walked around for about 15 minutes and started to get frustrated. Finally, I really pushed myself and managed to squeeze out a small "hi" to an old woman. I'm not sure if she heard it, but it certainly was a victory for me! Unfortunately a had no time to continue as I was already late for an appointment.
Today I walked around near my home to try to get more Hi's. Got several, but stopped after 10 minutes, because it was too easy. I'm sure I would have gotten more if I would have continued, but in this setting the Hi's were no challenge at all. For some reason, Hi's are either easy in some settings, or almost impossible in others. I guess it has something to do with territory or something, because at work, familiar clubs, or near my home I have no trouble saying Hi, but in other locations such as public places something keeps holding me back.

Conclusions:
- I need more EC practice to make it more of an automatic thing. Guess this will also help me to keep winning the longer ECs
- Hi's are either no problem, or almost undoable depending on the setting. Still thinking about how to solve this, so I'm open for suggestions.


Oh, almost forgot. On two occasions, when I made EC with a girl she started a short conversation with me. This almost never happens to me! I'm guessing people are already starting to perceive me differently and I appear to be more open or something.

 

[SiL]

Week One - Final Results

EC count: >60
staring battles lost: ~25
staring battles won: ~20
Hi's count: ~60

Explination...

EC: Early in the week I was actively trying to have eye contact with anyone who I passed by, but of the few who did actually look me in the eye's I happened to look away first.

It wasnt until Wednesday or so that I actively started to win these battles, although I still need some more practice on this and will carry it over into the week .

Hi's: Monday and Tuesday only accounted for about 10 of my 60 "Hi's"... I wasnt in the right mindset.

Wednesday I went to the mall for lunch and got 15 alone in a half-hour, this boosted my confidence way up and gave me the jump I needed to complete this assignment. I did the same on Thursday, but there were not as many people in the mall.

Saturday morning I was grocercy shopping, and this was my prime. I probably said Hi to at least 30+ people in the 20 minutes I was there. It was great! I tried changing how I was saying Hi as well to see if this made a difference... It seems when I said it really quickly people were more cold and would not respond rather when I said it a bit slower and more loudly to make sure they heard me.

All in all a great assignment, and i'm going to work more on EC and Hi's with HB's for week 2 in addition to the assignment.

 

[Genji]

Finally finished the assignment! I feel a lot more confident interacting with people in general after doing it! You know, the whole thing actually made me feel a bit like an extravert (I'd always figured I was an intravert). I found myself eagerly hunting down people to say hello to and it made me feel good!

I think I'll keep saying hello to people in general from here on out. It's a good way to keep those social skills from atrophying too much!

I'm ready for week 2!

Hi Count : 50/50