Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Boot Camp for The Mature Man

Fallen

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2003
Messages
95
Reaction score
1
Location
Europe
Week 2 Day 1-7

Puddly, great to see you're doing fine so far. Keep up the good work. I finished my 2nd 2nd week so to speak since i had to do it over again.
I chatted up a lot more than 10 strangers but since week 2 took me 2 weeks i thought i had to do more than 10.
Although the results were overall positive, i found most of the conversations somehow to be "forced". Don't get me wrong, i had the feeling that the people i chatted up somehow were glad i did and everyone had something to say but on my part i sometimes felt more than uncomfortable while doing it.
I guess it's just my current situation, just like you, the ghosts of AFC-past and demons of past events haunting me and getting the best of me. A lot of work related stress and a strict diet does the rest to make me insecure, grumpy and somewhat depressed.
But i am still confident that this will go away as time goes by. Anyway: Week 3 started on Thursday, chatted up 2 girls on separate occasions and held a brief conversation. My schedule for the upcoming days is filled pretty good and i don't know how much time i will have to go out and chat up ladies. Might happen that my week 3 will again take me more than a week.
 

combustiont

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2008
Messages
46
Reaction score
0
I'm extremely behind right now but i'm still in it. I did week 2 over again because I didn't feel good about the progress I was making and with the holidays and work i've been putting in nearly 60 hours a week, and it sucks.

I'll be back in a big way.
 

UnoriginalSin

New Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Week 1 day 8

I decided to do this boot camp as an exercise in confidence and releasing my inhibitions. I'm not a virgin and I have had extreme confidence in other areas of life at different times, but still, I have or I feel I have poor game with women. As a result I have burned several hot girls, who frankly wanted to ****, with my AFCness. Time to turn over a new leaf.

So I completed week one last night. Some of it was hard, some of it was easy. I don't quite have the distance down for making eye contact and saying hi, but since week 2's exercises build on week 1's, it will be something that I continue to finesse.

The first couple of days, I procrastinated, which is a real bad idea, because it means that you end up having to do 20 hi's on the last night (I liked saying "hi how are you?" more, just because it seems less weird to me). But on the 3rd day or so, I saw some girls coming down the side walk and decided that now was the time to start. Got a hi back from the cute girl with the low cut top.

Took the bus home and saw this HB6 sat across the isle. She had that bad girl look which intimidates me. I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be pimp if I just stared at her until she looks over and start a conversation." It was hard, but I made myself do it and came off smooth. She was older than I thought.

420 is big in this college town. Did a lot of work that day. So I stopped counting inter gender groups and couples.

Last night I rounded up the week and ran into the "Take Back the Night" protest, wondered how you pick up chicks at something that protests rape/molestation etc. Anyway, ran into some girls I know (HB8s) and walked them back to their bikes. Both are a little taller than me, but I practiced my conversation skills. We talked about psychopaths. Those girls are a little weird, but whatever.

I learned that you can't let fear and anxiety hold you back this week. If I felt that way, I stopped, meditated and prayed until the feeling left and went for it. I find it hilarious that spirituality will help me fvck girls. Hey, anyway to be of service.

On to week 2.
 

UnoriginalSin

New Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Week 2 day 5

I'm way behind in my conversations, which means that I'm really not dedicating the time I need to for this to work. What I wouldn't give to be in college again.

I talked to this girl today at the bus stop. Average looking chick, nothing special. I asked her about the book that she was reading and it turned out I was familiar with it. The conversation flowed well without much problems, though I felt kind of awkward when I asked her what she does for fun. I think the reason that awkward moments are uncomfortable is because you are never more intimate with a person than when you are awkward, because all their fronts, schemes and games are down and you get the whole, uncensored person. I'll have to experiment with that. I didn't ask her for her name until the last 5-10 minutes or so, but her face and her eyes lit up when I shook her hand.

The conversation lasted about 15-20 minutes, but then she had to get off the bus. If I had to do it again, I would have liked to focus on stroking her interest, using language better.

I'm off to the grocery store and then to the coffee house to see what I can do.
 

UnoriginalSin

New Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
Week 2 day 5

that is week 2 day 6

Did 3 more today. Just random people.

First one was a dude on the bus. We talked about the military for about 15 minutes or so. I had started out talking to the girl next to me (nothing special), but she wasn't too talkative. When she left she said bye and the guy told me that she must have liked me because she kept looking over. The power of ignoring women strikes again, but what is the difference between ignoring a girl and not paying attention to her? I'll have to post that on a separate thread.

The next two were people who came into work, which I usually wouldn't count, because random people come into work all the time that I talk to a little bit. But in each case, I shook hands, got names and one or two personal details. One was a woman in her 40s, nice body. Her nipples were getting hard and she was giving me bedroom eyes as we talked. We talked for maybe 5 minutes about the classes that she was taking. She made like she needed to leave but I drew her back for another minute or two. I don't know if that's a good idea with chicks I'm trying to get with. My thinking is yes, because it shows that you're in charge.

The last was a senior citizen. Not much to say about that. Talked about his daughter.

So the question is, can I do six conversations with strangers in one day. I think I can.
 

UnoriginalSin

New Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
5
Reaction score
0
week 3 day 2

I finished week 2 a couple days late. I thought about starting it over, but that sounded like an excuse to avoid week 3.

My main setting for starting conversations was at the bus stop or on the bus, which seems like kind of a cheat to me, because it's not a cold walk up. That's something I can work toward. I tried talking to some girls from the half way house a couple times but choked. I've come to realize that I just can't worry about that. I will fail, but the more I do this, the better I'll get.

I told a friend what I was doing and he said it was creepy, which is a sad way of looking at it. Since when did it become socially unacceptable to be friendly to people? He later said that really, he was just too scared to try something like that.

I'm finding that this whole experience is building my confidence over all. I got my hair cut by a hottie (who was unfortunately married) and I had her wrapped around my finger. She did get my contact information so that I would fix a computer problem for her and I can't decide if that's AFC or not. It's not something I'd do for free and as much as we clicked, it's probably unlikely that I'll get any action from her (though she did let me know that she has poor impulse control). Is hooking up with a hot married chick sleazy or awesome?

I walked home from a doctor's appointment on the bike path and said hello to everyone I could. It's important to maintain those base skills.
 

BudBundi

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 24, 2008
Messages
72
Reaction score
2
Location
Phoenix, AZ
ReBoot

Starting the first of March I'm going to be Boot Camping myself. The delay is so that I can clean my place up a bit first.

I'm a 28 yo poor groundskeeper, not much to work with cash wise. Which means no bars, clubs, or taking them out for ...well, anything. I guess I'll get them to pay her way and mine or else.
 

BeyondCharm

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 14, 2008
Messages
282
Reaction score
11
BudBundi said:
Starting the first of March I'm going to be Boot Camping myself. The delay is so that I can clean my place up a bit first.

I'm a 28 yo poor groundskeeper, not much to work with cash wise. Which means no bars, clubs, or taking them out for ...well, anything. I guess I'll get them to pay her way and mine or else.
There's nothing wrong with doing things that don't cost much, like outdoors activities, bowling (cheap), walks (free), coffee (cheap). The point is you're getting out there!
 

Captain DJ

New Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2010
Messages
1
Reaction score
0
Sup Dj's im new here, and im from Brazil.
Hope to make some friends here and get some new skills in meeting and attracting women !
 

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,784
Reaction score
400
I've always told myself I have to do a bootcamp if I wanna be a DJ but I still haven't...

Still, I do make progress in my own way, most of which is not premeditated but just develops sorta naturally. I just took a decision in general, to be more open to women and try to get in contact with them any which way possible. The exact details on how to do this, is something I just let come to me the moment I see a woman in my vicinity. I'll just do whatever comes to me at that moment.

For example, first I just started to look at every girl I see around me (no matter where I am), just be aware of them. Before, they were just 'other people on the street, who I do not know and have nothing to do with'. So I just decided to be more aware of them, be more connected to them, in any way possible, even if it's just in my head/consciousness. So I just looked at them more: look what they do, what they wear, how they walk, what their facial expression is like, what they talk about to the person they might be with.

From there, I automatically started to make eye contact with them more. From there, I automatically started looking at them in a sexual manner. It's just something I happened to do sometime, to see what her reaction would be like. Some other time, I did it again, and so on, until it became a habit. Over the past months, I've become pretty good at that (finding the right balance between the "neutral" look and the "I need sex right now!" look. Now it seems to them like I just have a naughty look in my eyes and I'm not doing that intentional, I just AM sexual). I never really decided to focuss on this 'technique' and practise it. It just developed into a habit sorta automatically...

Lately, I've been developing some other of these habits. I never really said to myself: "Non verbal communication is going good, but now you have to practise and learn to SAY something to girls!" Instead, I just felt the urge to make more contact everytime I saw women around me. Like the eye contact and stuff was getting boring, I wanted more than that, I just felt the desire to get closer to them than that. So I just started acting on that desire, lol. When I walk on the street and two girls walk past me while they're talking to each other, I just say: "Oh really?" No matter what they talk about, haha. Like, one girl tells the other: "Hey, let's go inside that store for a minute." And I just say: "Oh really?" and walk on. Often I don't even look at their reaction, I don't care. I communicated with them, I made them direct their attention towards me for a second, I made contact with them, I just followed that desire lol. Sometimes they respond with a shy smile, sometimes they literally say: "Huh??" coz they don't understand what I meant or why I said that (and why I just walked on without saying anything else after it). I'm just having fun.

Today, I was driving back from work on my bike... Some girl was standing on the pavement in front of her home, looking at some other person that was parking his/her car in front of her home. I just looked at her as I passed by and when she looked back to me I enthusiastically said: "Ola!" Like Hector says to Tony Montana when he opens the door, hahaha: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-azf71pV5U&feature=related

Again, I don't even care how she reacts, she even wasn't really beautiful. I'm just having fun, playing, and doing what I want: make contact with women, get their attention! Now when I do make a serious attempt to approach a girl, it's much easier (still not easy, but easier) because I feel more "familiar" with women and interacting with them (and interacting with them in a playful manner, which is quite important in pick up).

The reason I'm writing this, is because it might help others who are too 'afraid' to do a bootcamp. I'll admit that I am/was but in a way I'm doing my own kind of boot camp. It's just a lot slower, but it has the big advantage of not doing anything 'forced' and instead just going with your own 'flow'. If I would leave my house and tell myself: "Okay, you're going to say 'hi' to a dozen girls today" I would feel 'forced' (even though it's me myself who's forcing me lol) and at unease. The way it's been going for me, is just unforced. I practise, I repeat certain behaviour towards girls and get better at it, but none of it is really premeditated. The behaviour just comes to me 'out of the blue' there and then. The only thing I do, is remind myself very often that I want to become a DJ, that I want to interact with women and get good at it...I read a lot on here, I think a lot about everything I read and then some. Sometimes when I'm reading and thinking, I realize that I haven't had any significant interaction with women since two weeks ago and I tell myself: "You're not becoming a DJ, you just read and think, sitting behind your computer" and I tell myself I need to 'do something'. I don't specify that 'something', I never make any specific plans to do anything or practise anything. I just feel frustrated that I'm not making any progress with girls, feel a strong desire to do so and make a 'general' vow to myself that I will do so. Then, some few days later, I happen to walk on the street and two girls pass me by..and 'out of the blue' I feel the urge to say something weird/funny to them, to flirt with them...and I just do it. All that time, the repeated thinking and reading and feeling the desire to 'do something' has all been slumbering in my subconscious and suddenly gets released by this 'out of the blue' initiative to interact and flirt with those girls. It just happens, it feels natural and unforced. And it keeps happening, and I keep reading and thinking, etc. etc. etc.

Perhaps this might be helpful to someone else. If not, it was fun to write down my own experiences anyway :p Cheers!
 

bigswifty

New Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2010
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
I like this version of "boot camp". I'm working to undo years of shyness and the resulting frustration (at least I'm not a 50-year-old virgin). It's been a long journey and a lot of work. This "medium-impact" method works best for me too.

Like Die Hard I'm constantly wary of when I might just be spinning my wheels, but OTOH I'm no way the wallflower I used to be! I haven't yet arrived in port, so to speak, but at least I'm underway. I'm no longer in dry dock!


Die Hard said:
I've always told myself I have to do a bootcamp if I wanna be a DJ but I still haven't...

Still, I do make progress in my own way, most of which is not premeditated but just develops sorta naturally. I just took a decision in general, to be more open to women and try to get in contact with them any which way possible. The exact details on how to do this, is something I just let come to me the moment I see a woman in my vicinity. I'll just do whatever comes to me at that moment.

For example, first I just started to look at every girl I see around me (no matter where I am), just be aware of them. Before, they were just 'other people on the street, who I do not know and have nothing to do with'. So I just decided to be more aware of them, be more connected to them, in any way possible, even if it's just in my head/consciousness. So I just looked at them more: look what they do, what they wear, how they walk, what their facial expression is like, what they talk about to the person they might be with.

From there, I automatically started to make eye contact with them more. From there, I automatically started looking at them in a sexual manner. It's just something I happened to do sometime, to see what her reaction would be like. Some other time, I did it again, and so on, until it became a habit. Over the past months, I've become pretty good at that (finding the right balance between the "neutral" look and the "I need sex right now!" look. Now it seems to them like I just have a naughty look in my eyes and I'm not doing that intentional, I just AM sexual). I never really decided to focuss on this 'technique' and practise it. It just developed into a habit sorta automatically...

Lately, I've been developing some other of these habits. I never really said to myself: "Non verbal communication is going good, but now you have to practise and learn to SAY something to girls!" Instead, I just felt the urge to make more contact everytime I saw women around me. Like the eye contact and stuff was getting boring, I wanted more than that, I just felt the desire to get closer to them than that. So I just started acting on that desire, lol. When I walk on the street and two girls walk past me while they're talking to each other, I just say: "Oh really?" No matter what they talk about, haha. Like, one girl tells the other: "Hey, let's go inside that store for a minute." And I just say: "Oh really?" and walk on. Often I don't even look at their reaction, I don't care. I communicated with them, I made them direct their attention towards me for a second, I made contact with them, I just followed that desire lol. Sometimes they respond with a shy smile, sometimes they literally say: "Huh??" coz they don't understand what I meant or why I said that (and why I just walked on without saying anything else after it). I'm just having fun.

Today, I was driving back from work on my bike... Some girl was standing on the pavement in front of her home, looking at some other person that was parking his/her car in front of her home. I just looked at her as I passed by and when she looked back to me I enthusiastically said: "Ola!" Like Hector says to Tony Montana when he opens the door, hahaha: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-azf71pV5U&feature=related

Again, I don't even care how she reacts, she even wasn't really beautiful. I'm just having fun, playing, and doing what I want: make contact with women, get their attention! Now when I do make a serious attempt to approach a girl, it's much easier (still not easy, but easier) because I feel more "familiar" with women and interacting with them (and interacting with them in a playful manner, which is quite important in pick up).

The reason I'm writing this, is because it might help others who are too 'afraid' to do a bootcamp. I'll admit that I am/was but in a way I'm doing my own kind of boot camp. It's just a lot slower, but it has the big advantage of not doing anything 'forced' and instead just going with your own 'flow'. If I would leave my house and tell myself: "Okay, you're going to say 'hi' to a dozen girls today" I would feel 'forced' (even though it's me myself who's forcing me lol) and at unease. The way it's been going for me, is just unforced. I practise, I repeat certain behaviour towards girls and get better at it, but none of it is really premeditated. The behaviour just comes to me 'out of the blue' there and then. The only thing I do, is remind myself very often that I want to become a DJ, that I want to interact with women and get good at it...I read a lot on here, I think a lot about everything I read and then some. Sometimes when I'm reading and thinking, I realize that I haven't had any significant interaction with women since two weeks ago and I tell myself: "You're not becoming a DJ, you just read and think, sitting behind your computer" and I tell myself I need to 'do something'. I don't specify that 'something', I never make any specific plans to do anything or practise anything. I just feel frustrated that I'm not making any progress with girls, feel a strong desire to do so and make a 'general' vow to myself that I will do so. Then, some few days later, I happen to walk on the street and two girls pass me by..and 'out of the blue' I feel the urge to say something weird/funny to them, to flirt with them...and I just do it. All that time, the repeated thinking and reading and feeling the desire to 'do something' has all been slumbering in my subconscious and suddenly gets released by this 'out of the blue' initiative to interact and flirt with those girls. It just happens, it feels natural and unforced. And it keeps happening, and I keep reading and thinking, etc. etc. etc.

Perhaps this might be helpful to someone else. If not, it was fun to write down my own experiences anyway :p Cheers!
 

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,784
Reaction score
400
Nice! And thanks for bumping the thread, it's good to read my own post again. I haven't payed much attention to the game lately. Lotsa stress at work, I get a bit depressed from the onset of Fall/Winter, I don't care a lot about girls and the game. I'm being introverted and simply give it a jerk when I'm horny.

Time to "get out of reverse", be more outgoing, pick things up where I left them. My older post stimulates to do that :)
 

Lateralus

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2009
Messages
109
Reaction score
0
Location
Europe
Hi folks,

I'm in! Actually I started like a week ago...

Last weekend I had a great weekend. Approached a group of blonde HB7 to HB 9 (IMO) at a bar. They didn't reject me, they engaged in a conversation with me that lasted quite long. Funny enough, some people have ever called the bar I was in the 'ugly men bar'. So I just asked them as an opener: 'Can I ask you why you girls are visiting the ugly men bar on a saturday night?' The laughed and it turned out in a very interesting and fun conversation.

But then I ditched them for a my sisters' friend (that I had never seen before), who came in together. She was a really cute (shy) HB7,5 so I, accidentally, forgot about the blondies. After 30 min talking, to her and to my sister. I saw the blondies leaving the building. Looking at me, but not really saying 'goodbye'. Maybe they felt rejected or something?

Another 'mistake' was that I enjoyed the evening so much, that I became completely drunk. I'm affraid I left a bad impression to the cute HB7,5. We had a snow fight with the whole group at 5 o clock at night afterwards, but I was to drunk to make a move so I didn't...I'm not sure whether to get in touch with the cute HB7,5 or not... I feel I could handle her shyness very well and we had a good conversation in the beginning.

After all: it was a great night, but I feel I left empty handed because of the excessive drinking in the end.
 

Lateralus

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2009
Messages
109
Reaction score
0
Location
Europe
Nice! And thanks for bumping the thread, it's good to read my own post again. I haven't payed much attention to the game lately. Lotsa stress at work, I get a bit depressed from the onset of Fall/Winter, I don't care a lot about girls and the game. I'm being introverted and simply give it a jerk when I'm horny.

Time to "get out of reverse", be more outgoing, pick things up where I left them. My older post stimulates to do that
It is funny to see that a few weeks ago I felt exactly the same as you, until I thought: no further! I do not allow myself to live like this anymore. I became more 'active' on sosuave, and took action. Things can turn around very quickly, as long as you just 'make a start'... And I believe it is possible to break cycles, with discipline and a fearless approach.
 

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,784
Reaction score
400
To be honest with you, I didn't manage to get out of reverse after writing that post...

I only managed to do so a few weeks ago, haha. But things are going good now! :up:
 

betheman

Banned
Joined
Nov 4, 2010
Messages
1,859
Reaction score
67
I really ned to do this, been making lots of eye contact with a good degree of success, interestingly younger women return it and smile/second look more than women my own age???

still got afc itus though, keep kicking myself at not following up! grrrrrrr

the biggest frustration for me is not following up seems so anti what Im trying to acheoiev and I have no logical reason not to follow up, its like some effing mental/psychological void
 

coachD

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
157
Reaction score
1
I just found this. I'll start the bootcamp today. I did a few days of Strauss' workbook but got bored with it.
 

BMX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2004
Messages
1,500
Reaction score
423
Location
Everett
MY FR (Of Sorts):12/29/12: Went to a club in DC with 2 friends. I never drank or partied inside city limits before despite growing up outside of their for many years. It was my birthday weekend and I could care less what came of the experience. Approached 12 or 13 women by myself throughout the night. Opened up two seperate groups of 3 and told the first group to get off their damn phones and dance. LOL. 2nd group was just to extract one girl from her sister and a friend which I managed to do for a long time but couldn't hear her retarded questions over the loud music so I egressed. Danced with some of the women I opened. My wings introduced me to a few more girls but nothing spectacular about them or the club's scenery in general.

My friends were impressed with how I can go up to just about anyone and talk about anything that springs to mind whether it was in the club or in the malls during the holidays.

NYE: Cougar former co-worker of mine told me to get to her place cuz she was drunk and watching pornos LMAO. I brought over some alcohol of my own and started drinking after I met her new roommate. I took her roommate back to her room and we started to bang but she was so tight nothing was working and she fell asleep from too much alcohol. She was a smoker and I realized I didn't really feel her at all so I told them I was leaving. Weird NYE but whatever.

1/1: Went out to read, drink coffee and do some daygame. Scene where I was at was unimpressive so nothing. Maybe will try again tonight after I crossfit. Trying to get back into daygame because that's where my success usually always came from before.
 
Top