"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Boom. Done. Just like that.

dashiznick

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Thanks guys. Needed the gut-check. Was getting mixed advice about "confident persistence."
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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floydb25

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Yea... WAY too much pursuing on your part. When they start flaking, not responding, and making up excuses - it's because they lost interest. And when they go from very high to extremely low interest in a short amount of time like this - it's almost guaranteed that you're coming on too strong and pushing too hard; setting up too many dates, revealing too much interest, becoming too predictable, etc.

Used to have the same problem. Attracted bishes everywhere, but couldn't keep a single one. They ALL lost interest for acting over-eager and desperate, like in this scenerio.
 

palisade

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When a girl wants to take it further, interest levels etc, whatever her circumstances she'll find a way to see you. She says she's at a funeral, which is more than fair enough, but if there was considerable interest she would have followed that up with "but, I'm free <insertnight> instead!". The absence of that suggests she's either trying to play you, as in sniff you out very early doors to see if you're the real deal or just another AFC, or that she isn't that interested in you.

Seeing that she's replied last, leave it at that and go to the place where she works. Give it a day or two. If she texts you in the meantime, ignore it. Turn up, show her that you're unfazed and that regardless of whether you get something out of it or you don't, the fact that she is there does not bother you. You have to be able to show her that if she flakes, you're capable of walking away. You have to think that right now, she's another "could have been" and that you have no chance with.

The first time she flaked, you should've replied with a simple "okay, no worries, but you're making up for it next time" or along those lines, and left it at that for a few days. As you asked her out again the next day, that sends out the wrong vibe, like you're too eager to be there, that she can get away with flakey behaviour with you. Almost sends out a message that you've not got anything better to be doing with your time, and that your time is too easily gained and not valuable enough. Which then, then suggests you don't value yourself highly enough.

(It's.. mad isn't it?)
 

dashiznick

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Dang, palisade. That was a strong post. I'm surprised this was your first on this board. Regardless, thanks man.
 
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