"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Books to read with an absent father figure?
- Thread starter HayashiST
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Jack22
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2022
- Messages
- 182
- Reaction score
- 255
- Age
- 25
I try to live up to Rollos quote of traditional masculinity, which I'll post below
With a strong emphasis towards independence. You must be self sufficient, capable of taking care of yourself, and the things around you.
Would be my biggest advice. For some reason, growing up with a absent father I always felt something missing in me. However, all of these feelings stopped when I got a job and started making a living for myself. I stopped looking for male figures for guidance and instead, saw them as equal to me.
Black Widow Void
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2010
- Messages
- 2,152
- Reaction score
- 3,796
I grew up with a career driven mother who was awarded custody. As you can imagine, I later ended up having to do some self reevaluation.
One of the last things my mother told me before her passing was saying “son you are sounding a lot like your father.” She did not mean that as a compliment at all. But I took it as one and wear it like a badge of honor.
although I think masculinity can be subjective, here’s what works for me. Instead of seeking approval of peers or of women, I decided what mattered was how I felt about myself at the end of the day.
By being true to oneself, sometimes we lose friends and sometimes opportunities with women along the way. However, if we respect ourselves, then we eventually attract higher quality women and more solid friends.
When personally going through it this transformation, I noticed one thing in particular. Even when alone, I seldom feel lonely.I could be wrong, but I believe that most people feel loneliness because they prefer to be around others to avoid facing themselves.
When you like, respect, and become comfortable with yourself, others will be too.
2Rocky
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
- Messages
- 2,442
- Reaction score
- 2,734
- Age
- 52
https://www.artofmanliness.com/ especially some of the authors he interviews....
for practical how to : Dad, How do I...
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
