"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Body Language - Speaking Of Confidence

ianlove

Don Juan
Joined
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Yep, its is true!
We tell people more about ourselves through our body than we do verbally!
and people read this on the most basic, subliminal and unconcious levels.

Someone can tell you the most convincing and beleivable story you have ever heard but if his body language doesn't mesh with what they are saying then it just does not seem to gel.
Well if he is lying about his story he will be giving of certain signals. I use this as an example because we all know some of the basics behind a liars body language. The shifty eyes, sweating, the sudden really itchy nose.

Well this is where I bring up the topic of this golden chalice that is Confidence, and there is a helluva lot of body language that goes about conveying to those around you that you are a confident mofo :)
I said on a previous post that applying this to your everday life makes you feel like a faker, this is just a passing phase.
It feels fake because you are merely doing something not native to you if you have never used that type of body language.
Beleive me, I felt it..BOY did i feel it.

I covered the smile before, one of the simpler confidence conveyors. A little more out there is the holding of eye contact and during conversation. NOT overdoing it, not shoe gazing during the whole show. Just the right amount becuase you can come off as the pathetic afc douche or the stary stalker across the street.

The way you walk is a good indicator. Those people who look rushed off their feet for no apparent reason, who also jump when you say "Hi" and fluster, this is a lack of confidence.
If you are confident with yourself you walk comfortably, throw back your shoulders and take the middle of the corridor. Unless it is of utmost importance you don't fluster yourself. Straighten your back, throw back those shoulders and expose a little more chest, works wonders.

Just standing around is also where you show cnfidence. A defensive person who is none to approachable has the classic closed signals, crossed arms, crossed legs etc. It is important to remember that they may just be cold, some things effect your body language, things you can't always control.
Hold your head up, stand with bothe feet planted firmly on the ground without shifting all your weight to one - single - foot.
Another great one i have found is putting an arm behind your back, this is called a "superior confidence position" because you are exposing vulnearable parts of yourself like your stomach.
Work this with the smiles and the confident eye contact and you are part way there.

Introducing yourself:
A handshake can also give off confidence.
Shake someones hand with YOUR palm facing down. Their open palm is a submissive sign, your palm lowered parrallel to theirs shows a dominance.
Firm but not over the top. There are people out there with severe gripes against your hand it seems, they seem to want to demolish your knuckles.
Don't do that. Also don't be weak in your shake either.

Another good tip when talking and being expressive is the open palm, this shows honesty, as aforementioned it shows submittance to.
People don't like to be bossed around so if you use an open palm to ask for a favour you are showing some form of submittance, this coupled with the other confidence signals shows some form of submittance, you're asking kindly for a favour even though you could be really harsh.

Yes, at first if you don't use this it does seem forced but it pans out. the more you use it the more it becomes a part of you which starts a chain reaction. You feel more confident, you appear more confident, you appear confident so it makes you MORE confident and so on.
You really have nothing to lose. Spin all this together and you ahve the makings of a strong confident web :)S Spider analogy)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Cruise

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 19, 2006
Messages
423
Reaction score
6
ianlove said:
Yep, its is true!
We tell people more about ourselves through our body than we do verbally!
and people read this on the most basic, subliminal and unconcious levels.

Someone can tell you the most convincing and beleivable story you have ever heard but if his body language doesn't mesh with what they are saying then it just does not seem to gel.
Well if he is lying about his story he will be giving of certain signals. I use this as an example because we all know some of the basics behind a liars body language. The shifty eyes, sweating, the sudden really itchy nose.

Well this is where I bring up the topic of this golden chalice that is Confidence, and there is a helluva lot of body language that goes about conveying to those around you that you are a confident mofo :)
I said on a previous post that applying this to your everday life makes you feel like a faker, this is just a passing phase.
It feels fake because you are merely doing something not native to you if you have never used that type of body language.
Beleive me, I felt it..BOY did i feel it.

I covered the smile before, one of the simpler confidence conveyors. A little more out there is the holding of eye contact and during conversation. NOT overdoing it, not shoe gazing during the whole show. Just the right amount becuase you can come off as the pathetic afc douche or the stary stalker across the street.

The way you walk is a good indicator. Those people who look rushed off their feet for no apparent reason, who also jump when you say "Hi" and fluster, this is a lack of confidence.
If you are confident with yourself you walk comfortably, throw back your shoulders and take the middle of the corridor. Unless it is of utmost importance you don't fluster yourself. Straighten your back, throw back those shoulders and expose a little more chest, works wonders.

Just standing around is also where you show cnfidence. A defensive person who is none to approachable has the classic closed signals, crossed arms, crossed legs etc. It is important to remember that they may just be cold, some things effect your body language, things you can't always control.
Hold your head up, stand with bothe feet planted firmly on the ground without shifting all your weight to one - single - foot.
Another great one i have found is putting an arm behind your back, this is called a "superior confidence position" because you are exposing vulnearable parts of yourself like your stomach.
Work this with the smiles and the confident eye contact and you are part way there.

Introducing yourself:
A handshake can also give off confidence.
Shake someones hand with YOUR palm facing down. Their open palm is a submissive sign, your palm lowered parrallel to theirs shows a dominance.
Firm but not over the top. There are people out there with severe gripes against your hand it seems, they seem to want to demolish your knuckles.
Don't do that. Also don't be weak in your shake either.

Another good tip when talking and being expressive is the open palm, this shows honesty, as aforementioned it shows submittance to.
People don't like to be bossed around so if you use an open palm to ask for a favour you are showing some form of submittance, this coupled with the other confidence signals shows some form of submittance, you're asking kindly for a favour even though you could be really harsh.

Yes, at first if you don't use this it does seem forced but it pans out. the more you use it the more it becomes a part of you which starts a chain reaction. You feel more confident, you appear more confident, you appear confident so it makes you MORE confident and so on.
You really have nothing to lose. Spin all this together and you ahve the makings of a strong confident web :)S Spider analogy)

This post deserves it's credit. Great post by the way. Looking forward to more of your work.
 

The Juan and only

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 4, 2005
Messages
805
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38
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United Kingdom
yeah, I don't why it hasn't had more responses.

Solid post :up:
 
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