"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Blackdragon's Summer Time Apporach Journal

The JustMan

Don Juan
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Hey, Blackdragon, where are you doing your approaches? I too live in the Cincinnati area. Do you do them in Cincy (Clifton, Downtown, etc.) or outside Cincy (Kenwood, Norwood, Eastgate, Newport, etc.)? Do you go to clubs or anything? I was considering going to clubs and other social events if I had a wing. Would you like to wing sometime? I sent you a PM. Hit me back if you are interested, man!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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nonchalant

Senior Don Juan
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Blackdragon5095 said:
I'm going to take another break, I need to reread my apporach journal a couple of times and I have realize I created some fears and problems. Sry to be stuck at 51 but I need to do alot of reading of fixing myself up first.

How long this will take ?
I don't know, I may not be getting this apporach journal done this summer. I just have alot of thinking to do.

don't give up. you have to learn to balance pua with life. if you feel like you need to work on your life and inner game, then by all means do whatever you have to do - but don't let your approaches suffer. sometimes the best opportunities come when you least expect it, so always be on, always be ready.

i got from mystery: the 3 areas of life - financial, health, relationships. if you neglect one then all 3 suffer, you have to constantly maintain all areas of life. and this is a process you will continue throughout your life, regardless of how good you get with pua, there will always be challenges, especially as you grow older, take on more responsibilities at work, start juggling multiple HB's, etc. it is up to you to maintain that balance.
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
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Keep plowing Black Dragon.

It's when we overthing the result of each approach that we have problems.

I did 100 approaches in a month in September last fall. However I looked at them not as approaches but conversations. If the conversations hooked or not, I didn't care because I had the goal of 100.

Naturally after doing 100 conversations you start to recognize patterns and get smooth. The only problem was I didn't have an equal or greater goal for the following month so I lost my momentum.

Keep it up. I would suggest you do more qualifying of the girl, ask more nontypical questions and keep the ****y and funny up.

Remember there are two frames to keep when you talk to any girl

1) She is a dork, she is clumsy, like a little bratty sister

2) You are the prize.
 

Serialized3

Master Don Juan
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CO
Blackdragon5095 said:
You be surpised, I seen girls who I swear to god , look like they are 13 years old and they will be like 20 or 19. LOL they are extra short too.
I will try harder and harder ketp telling myself to ask for phone numbers. Even though I don't have all my sh!t together. Any ideas about what I'm going to do if I get a number ? I need to pull myself together before I begin dating. And move out.
If you get a number, call her the next day and keep it short, try to set up an action date (amusement park, bike ride, whatever) and get out there.

Also, don't worry about moving out, at least not just for women. I pull plenty of chicks and I live at home, just hang out at their place more often than yours.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Blackdragon5095

Senior Don Juan
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My Final Decision

After rereading this journal and other posts.
I realize that I have changed but was this apporach journal useful or not ?
I'm gonna break down some good and bad.

Good:
Got me better at going up to girls and apporaching them

Got me used to talking to stangers

Got me to control myself better around hot & cute chicks

Got me to do some kino

Not to show too much interest in a apporach

Bad:
Dosen't get me asking numbers

Dosen't get me apporaching outside the store

I'm too used to apporaching at the store

Half of these aren't even apporaches. I can't count a apporach standing in a line waiting for a girl. Thats not a apporach thats called starting a convo.

I have been a bad example for other guys getting in the field. I made apporaching look way too easy.

What's my plan ?:

I have 1 wingman I met on this fourm

I might have another 1 or 2

I may start a new apporach jounral not sure ( maybe with my wingmans )

I might close this down

I will be doing more apporaches with my wingman

My job will be a place to pratice apporaching people and talking to them and building rapport. No more apporaches at the job, I need to focus on working and doing a good job.

Ask for phone numbers

Get in to social circle or start 1

What have I learned ?
I have made many many mistakes and I'm beginning to fix my problems.

My wingmans:
The JustMan ( we will get apporaching more at malls and hit some clubs )
Ricky ( maybe, he hasn't move to cincinnati yet & need to talk to him )
Libuser ( have to talk to him )
Cincyguy ( have to talk to him )

My wingman wish list:
Bounce
Flows101
Chickenlegs
Resilient
Badmannaz
Nonchalant
Microphone Fiend
Serialized3
Audity
The Phoenix

You guys suck because you live far away. :p
If you do come to ohio hit me up bros. :D
 

The Phoenix

Don Juan
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honored

Yo,

I am part of your wingman list, damn man, I am honored! It does suck you are that far, but I will be watching your approaches closely may be we can share the knowledge...

I am trying to take charge and make of myself what I want to be, it is really conforting to know I am not alone in the good fight!! It is good to find and allie like you Dragon

Cheers,

Your distant Chicago Brother in DJ-ing,
 

chickenlegs03

Banned
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Apr 15, 2006
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sup,

thanks...yeah, i'm all the way out in cali, but hey i'm still reading. i just have some quick pointers based on your last post:
Blackdragon5095 said:
Dosen't get me asking numbers
asking numbers should be natural, not forced. i've done like 28 approaches now and asked for only 1 number. got it, and even then it wasn't worth anything. then there's a few other girls who i regret not number closing, or that i really want to close in the near future. you should really want to hang out with the girl you close. i guess what i mean is, when i approach, i'm also getting know if this is the type of girl i want...i'm not just going to care for any chick. i have standards and values, and if they don't fit, then i'm not going to ask her number just for the sake of going for it. so don't feel so bad that you haven't closed yet, i haven't done much either, but maybe you didn't have good enough chemistry with any of the chicks you approached yet.
Blackdragon5095 said:
Dosen't get me apporaching outside the store

I'm too used to apporaching at the store
yeah, i feel you on this one. don't get too attached to one environment. that's what happened when i moved to another state...it was like "whoa"

do them everywhere. i like Espi's idea of doing approaches in Victoria Secret...that takes balls of titanium. lol. seriously though, change up the environment every once in a while. that will vary the convos too. i've been doing this lately...but still i need to change it up too. i'm going to hit up a mall next weekend or so.
 
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