Bizarre story - share yours

[redbyte]

This chick and I have been friends for about 2 yrs. Over the past 4 months we've been getting really close.
She starts showing a noticeable attraction to me. We hang out alot, she kinos me, I kino her. Our friends make jokes about how we would be such a good couple, all of them saying that she digs me and that I should ask her out. I think yah okay one day.

She invites me to go on camp with her, we get real close, she makes jokes about kissing, she and I are flirting over the top. By now my friends are saying "ASK HER OUT MAN! SERIOUSLY SHES PERFECT FOR YOU!" So I say fine. I will.

NOTE: I have never had a girlfriend before and I've never asked a chick out before.

Today I invited her to go to the theatre with me. She texts me back, says she'd love to. I pick her up from her house, she looks stunning, nice outfit, make up done, looks like shes spent a great deal of time trying to look good for me. Sweet. We go to the theatre, have fun, as I drive her home I pop the question:

Me: "So I've been thinking, do you want to go out with me?"
Her: "...what?"
Me: "Do you want to go out with me?"
Her: "...oh... wow. This was really unexpected. Ummm. Oh gosh... ugh... that's really sudden, what provoked this?"
Me: "Ummm... just something I've been wanting to ask for a while."
Her: "ugggghh.. wow. Ummm... hehe... sorry it's just a really bad time at the moment with all my assignments. I'm so busy. At the moment I just wanna be friends."
Me: "I see"
Her: "Arrgh. I feel so terrible! I know how hard it is for guys to ask that! I'm so sorry."
Me: "It's alright. Don't worry."

WTF

Drove to my friends house, and told him what happened he was like, "WTF?? She turned you down? "

Ah well. At the moment I'm just glad I finally had the balls to ask a girl out Step up in my books.

Anyone else had similar things happen to them?
Also, anyone care to point out where I went wrong?

Thanks in advance

 

[Jackman]

Oh god, man. I remember being a teenager and having to actually ask a girl to go steady with me. Ha.

I never really asked until I was at the point with a girl that I felt confident that I could get under her clothes (but don't ask at that exact moment). You basically wait until you've got your arms around the girl right after a kick ass kiss or something. That's what I normally did back then.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

It's pretty bizzarre that she would turn you down, when everyone was seeing the signs that she dug you....

But, here's what I would have done.

I would have made a move. I would have gone in for the kiss, when the timing was right. Just let it happen.

You would have had nothing to lose... It takes balls, but at least you'd have made your intentions clear. If she didn't want to kiss you, she'd have turned away and of course things could have gotten awkward... but I'm sure they already were, so you lost nothing.

That takes more guts than "asking her out".

Kissing her would have been alot more powerful and quelled any doubts. You would have given her no time to think. Asking her, verbally, brings up tons of stuff and she stuttered on you.

 

[Tomatoes]

You went wrong in 2 places. One....you spent a long time to ask her. I understand it must have been hard....First time always is. Secondly you should ask a girl out like its a bussiness deal. Its very awkward....."So do you want to "go out" with me offically".....whats she supposed to do? Its awkward like that....first kiss and stuff.....you are unsure of how to take it.

You should ALWAYS follow a propsition like that with an ACTION.

ie. kissing fvcking....whatever. You shud have gone for the kiss close without saying anything. She WILL return the kiss. Afterwards.....see what her reaction is....prob same question with same answer.

Her: "...oh... wow. This was really unexpected. Ummm. Oh gosh... ugh... that's really sudden, what provoked this?"
You: "Ummm... just something I've been wanting to ask for a while."

Leave it at that......Next time you see her....repeat....then ask her out "offically"



my 2 cents

 

[Charm]

What everyone said is essentially all you need to know.

1.) You should have made an ACTION move. Instead of talking, you should have waited until the right moment and gone in for a kiss. "Hey, this was an amazing evening together..." Her (looking starry eyed at you). You (kiss close!).

2.) You shouldn't have tried to negotiate a relationship. Let her bring that sort of thing up. You got LJBF'd because of it.

 

[Mission]

This is not bizarre at all. You have been friends with the girl for ages then you started to get close. Then you friend said she digs you with no proof other than a hunch. Let me tell you something, do not listen to your friends on stuff like that.
Secondly, will you please discard all the advice that has just been given to you, it is over, be her friend, don't act wierd, but do not try to fix it, or ask her out again, or anything stupid like that.

--Mission

 

[Jackman]

will you please discard all the advice that has just been given to you, it is over, be her friend, don't act wierd, but do not try to fix it, or ask her out again, or anything stupid like that.

--Mission

Sure would be nice if some people would grab thier nut sack and actually pick out the post they disagree with instead of brushing everyone off with one broad stroke. Really reeks of that wannabe guru vibe. Not cool. After all, I don't recall advising this guy give her a second go....but whatever.

 

[PumpingIron13]

I think if she seemed to be into you at all the times you didnt really respond then you probably lowered her interest level a bit since she might view you as a little less confident. I kinda think the way you asked her was to anticlimactic, like the other guys said if you built up she might have been much more likely to agree. She might have been expecting something more romantic, plus think about it , if she said yes and you havent even kissed her yet or had too much kino, you cant expect her to just yell yes! and jump on you right? Anyways I dont think your too screwed yet just dont let her get to you now that shes said no to a relationship, if you get needy or let her become a oneitis then youll make it worse, play it off be cool, dont give her so much attention, after some time reinitiate and do things right but probly dont ask her again right away so you dont seem like the whole point was to try again. Get her all into you but this time dont ask her out till later on. good luck

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

This is not bizarre at all. You have been friends with the girl for ages then you started to get close. Then you friend said she digs you with no proof other than a hunch. Let me tell you something, do not listen to your friends on stuff like that.
Secondly, will you please discard all the advice that has just been given to you, it is over, be her friend, don't act wierd, but do not try to fix it, or ask her out again, or anything stupid like that.

--Mission

All advice was given with a complete disregard for the fact that they've been friends for 2 yrs.... and in this scenario, it was the right advice.

Regardless of what you seem to think, or wether you disagree with it, he did point out that she was doing some pretty obvious flirting/hinting.

and I don't buy into that whole once a friend, never a lover mentality. Some of the best relationships started out with two people being friends. BUT>>> before you go screaming AFC sh!t out your assh0le, here's the catch. These scenarios only ever happen when the "LJBF" convo has never taken place.

You can be friends with a girl and then take it to the next level, but you can't be "friended" by a girl, and then take it to the next level.

I've made a move on "friends" many times. Not once was i ever turned down.

 

[Mission]

All advice was given with a complete disregard for the fact that they've been friends for 2 yrs.... and in this scenario, it was the right advice.

Regardless of what you seem to think, or wether you disagree with it, he did point out that she was doing some pretty obvious flirting/hinting.

and I don't buy into that whole once a friend, never a lover mentality. Some of the best relationships started out with two people being friends. BUT>>> before you go screaming AFC sh!t out your assh0le, here's the catch. These scenarios only ever happen when the "LJBF" convo has never taken place.

You can be friends with a girl and then take it to the next level, but you can't be "friended" by a girl, and then take it to the next level.

I've made a move on "friends" many times. Not once was i ever turned down.

This whole thread is upsetting me very much. You guys seem to think that, if you are friends with a girl and you start kinoing her and she gives you these so-called "signs" then she MUST like you.
No, this is not true, I know alot of girls who I have known for years, and you know what, I flirt with them all the time, and they flirt back. These girls love it when I come to school all jumping up to hug me, we grab each others asses, make horrible sexual innuendos to each other. They sit on my lap at parties, I pick them up, just anything goes, kisses on the cheek, you name it we do it.
The point is, the reason that we do these things, is because WE ARE FRIENDS, there has never been any LJBF talk, nothing, I just don't try to go for them, I have fun.
Maybe, if some of you got up, went out and actually experienced more than just thinking of every girl as a possible lay, then you would understand.

--Mission

 

[j8snx1]

hahaha nice post mission; I can relate to him as well, since flirting with the JUST friends, hot or not, is pretty common in the whole friendship realm.

But I dunno guys, given 2 years, chances are you'd be deep into the friends' zone, dont you agree? It's my opinion, but when you see a girl that you find attractive, you really can't get with her after being her friend for two years; that's too big of a time gap to make anything happen after you become her friend. It's not ENTIRELY impossible, but you're more likely to hook up with a girl you just met as opposed to the 2 year friend

 

[MrS]

A kiss would ahve been better than to ask maybe...
But I don't think that caused the result..
That was quite odd.

 

[MrS]

but generally girls that really say you are friends means just that, don't try and take it to the next level it never happens really. Unless she asks.

 

[Mission]

hahaha nice post mission; I can relate to him as well, since flirting with the JUST friends, hot or not, is pretty common in the whole friendship realm.

But I dunno guys, given 2 years, chances are you'd be deep into the friends' zone, dont you agree? It's my opinion, but when you see a girl that you find attractive, you really can't get with her after being her friend for two years; that's too big of a time gap to make anything happen after you become her friend. It's not ENTIRELY impossible, but you're more likely to hook up with a girl you just met as opposed to the 2 year friend

Thank you, I am glad to see that at least one person understands.

--Mission

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

This whole thread is upsetting me very much. You guys seem to think that, if you are friends with a girl and you start kinoing her and she gives you these so-called "signs" then she MUST like you.
No, this is not true, I know alot of girls who I have known for years, and you know what, I flirt with them all the time, and they flirt back. These girls love it when I come to school all jumping up to hug me, we grab each others asses, make horrible sexual innuendos to each other. They sit on my lap at parties, I pick them up, just anything goes, kisses on the cheek, you name it we do it.
The point is, the reason that we do these things, is because WE ARE FRIENDS, there has never been any LJBF talk, nothing, I just don't try to go for them, I have fun.
Maybe, if some of you got up, went out and actually experienced more than just thinking of every girl as a possible lay, then you would understand.

--Mission

I guess my experiences have been alot different than yours.... and you're missing my point completly.

I HAVE fvcked girls who were friends. I've done it multiple times.

Maybe your not one of those guys who girls call a friend but secretly wanna fvck, but, I am.

Is this Flippin' Freak, BTW?

just joined, have amassed 100+ posts, and you're simply spewing out the same old rehashed advice given time and again.

And furthermore, do not take me for one of those guys who doesn't get out and field test this stuff. I've been with more than my share of women, and the guys from the lounge can vouch for me on that one.

 

[Jackman]

But I dunno guys, given 2 years, chances are you'd be deep into the friends' zone, dont you agree?

No, not really. I've been friends with women sometimes for a year or more because we never seemed to be single at the same time, and neither one of us would have gotten together into a relationship down the road if one had seen the other cheat. One girl I had known for almost 4 years before we dated.

Now, Mission, you assume quite a bit about people based on a few sentences, and you seem to think you know a lot about women based on your lifetime experience with them...which has been what....four or five years tops? Maybe a few more if you count crushes in grade school? I have one female friend who I've been friends only with for almost 16 years now. We first met as freshman in high school. When you can do that, get back to me. I'd love to hear more about how I seem to think every girl is a possible lay.

 

[Mission]

No, not really. I've been friends with women sometimes for a year or more because we never seemed to be single at the same time, and neither one of us would have gotten together into a relationship down the road if one had seen the other cheat. One girl I had known for almost 4 years before we dated.

Now, Mission, you assume quite a bit about people based on a few sentences, and you seem to think you know a lot about women based on your lifetime experience with them...which has been what....four or five years tops? Maybe a few more if you count crushes in grade school? I have one female friend who I've been friends only with for almost 16 years now. We first met as freshman in high school. When you can do that, get back to me. I'd love to hear more about how I seem to think every girl is a possible lay.

Am I supposed to be impressed?

--Mission

 

[redbyte]

My... Thread...



No...


Keep the hostility down guys

It's hard to describe, but the way she acted around me definately pointed towards attraction. People said we already looked like a couple the way we acted. At parties she would only talk to me, sit next to me, kino me, ask if her calling me last night was a good idea. Whilst surrounded by 6 other male friends, she did this to no one else. She even sounded kinda AFC. :crazy: Even her ex-boyfriend told me I should ask her out because, "Shes obviously into you".
The last time I was at her house, I sat at the table and she gave me a shoulder massage, then her taking photos of me on her phone, taking photos of herself on my phone, followed by some heavy flirting. Keep in mind my mate was next to me and paid no attention to him. BeSt FrInDs 4 eVa

Whoever said, "you can't get into a relationship after 2 years of being friends", this can be true, and I can see where you're coming from, BUT not all cases are like this. My parents for example, were best friends for 3 years before they started dating.

Anyways, like I said, it was a step forward in my books. At least now I can say I tried, and 5 years down the track when shes dating another guy wonder 'what if'. I had the balls to do something no matter how lame it was

 

[Mission]

My... Thread...



No...


Keep the hostility down guys

It's hard to describe, but the way she acted around me definately pointed towards attraction. People said we already looked like a couple the way we acted. At parties she would only talk to me, sit next to me, kino me, ask if her calling me last night was a good idea. Whilst surrounded by 6 other male friends, she did this to no one else. She even sounded kinda AFC. :crazy: Even her ex-boyfriend told me I should ask her out because, "Shes obviously into you".
The last time I was at her house, I sat at the table and she gave me a shoulder massage, then her taking photos of me on her phone, taking photos of herself on my phone, followed by some heavy flirting. Keep in mind my mate was next to me and paid no attention to him. BeSt FrInDs 4 eVa

Whoever said, "you can't get into a relationship after 2 years of being friends", this can be true, and I can see where you're coming from, BUT not all cases are like this. My parents for example, were best friends for 3 years before they started dating.

Anyways, like I said, it was a step forward in my books. At least now I can say I tried, and 5 years down the track when shes dating another guy wonder 'what if'. I had the balls to do something no matter how lame it was

Very mature post man, way to involve both sides of this heated argument this thread is having! This really ends up being your call based on all this crappy advice we have tried to give!

--Mission