Bizarre Experience with Online Dating chick

[StevenR]

Strange thing happened tonight and I am trying to figure out what happened. This is a girl who contacted me through the Match online dating site. We have been shooting emails back and fourth for a couple of weeks and we were going to meet for an art fair type event downtown they have once a month. We agree to meet at 7:00 this evening in front of this restaurant, and parking is of course terrible. I luck out at the last minute and find a spot, get there and wait. A few minutes later I decide to give her a call and see how she is doing finding a parking spot. I call her and sure enough she had just parked and has a couple of blocks to walk to get there. The event is basically a bunch of downtown galleries that have an open house and you walk between them.

Anyway, while I was waiting my brother calls me, I answer the phone because I was actually waiting on some important news from him. So I am chatting with my brother while waiting for her to show up, and 20 minutes later she still hasn't shown. I give her a call to find out if she got lost or something, and there is no answer. I wait a little while longer, then I call her again and leave a message telling her if I don't hear from her I assumed she changed her mind about meeting me, and if this is not the case to let me know what is up, and I was leaving if I didn't hear back from her. Of course no return call so I leave and that is that.

This is not just a normal being stood up, she actually took the time to go down there herself. I think I may have even seen her but I wasn't sure. If it was her she walked in front of the entrance(I was about 15 feet further outside the enterance talking to my brother), and then walked quickly away. If it was her she wasn't exactly all that to look at either, and she doesn't have any body pics on Match to know for sure, just some face photos.

Did she think it was rude I was talking on the phone when she saw me(and I didn't see her?), Or did she hate my voice on the phone so much when she first talked to me on the phone that she turned around and drove off?
I don't get what was so horrible that she would suddenly decide not to meet me at the last minute AFTER taking the effort to get herself ready, driving a half hour to get downtown and probably another 15 minutes to park and get there.

 

[hell695]

dude dont even worry shes probably just some kind of a nut

wait id she no what u look like?

 

[decades]

here's something for you to think about. You were such a "nice" guy to call her to see if the poor little thing had found a parking space. DON'T. Resist the urge to be the big strong man who needs to make sure his little girl is doing "ok" in the big bad world out there. You were Soooooo nice to do this. Then you called again, then you called again. She's a big girl and knows how to find you. She flaked on you who cares why. Perhaps you didn't indicate that you were carrying a "few extra pounds" and you surprised her.

Focus on what you could have done better. Don't be the FATHER who makes sure his little girl has a soft landing every time she ventures out into the dark cruel world.

 

[get1]

I would say it could have been any one of a number of factors. Truth is you will never know. If you are worried about your weight get on a diet, do some cardio join a gym. If you think its your voice, do voice training. inner game seems to be the underlying issue here. think about this. what if you had a date and she didn't want to see you again. you'd be in the same boat so imo you should work on your inner game then you will be unstoppable! good luck but best not think about it. I'm a good looking guy get stunning girls but sometimes girls aren't attracted sometimes they are. you can't take it personally. Everyone has had different experiences in life, different personalities, likes, dislikes it is a waste of time to try to analyse things you will NEVER KNOW..

 

[Interceptor]

Steve, she flaked on you and 'who cares why?'
Its the truth.
DO not put any more effort into this.
Do not give up your peace of mind for this. She is not worth it.

This is a perfect lesson you needed to go through.
This happens to most men. And its ok.

You need to recognize your anxiety and worry factor here. And it doesnt help you AT ALL, Steve.
You want to know.
But you will never know.
And the lesson is to be OK with that.

If you value yourself, Steve, you will NOT NEED her validation.
Which is what you're seeking from her here.

And now that you didnt get it, your self doubt and insecurity and sense of inadequacy is kicking into overdrive.

THAT is the lesson, Steve. THAT is what you NEED to let go of.

This is HER decsion. YOU are NOT responsible for HER decision.
SHe did NOT really get to KNOW you.

And if she feels like she did,and STILL doesnt want to further things with you, then GOOD FOR YOU.
It means she is not suitable for you and you would have never done anything right , and she would not cooperate and be attracted and interested in you genuinely, lovingly, and in a healthy manner.

Dont try to get into her head to find out the answers.
THAT is a disease. A very poor state of mind, Steve.
Dont fall into that trap, man.

 

[StevenR]

Well, I came home and conquered the world last night so I guess it is not all bad. Of course when I was finished there was nothing left to do except exit to the main menu, turn of the computer at 6 AM and contemplate getting a life lol.

 

[Jitterbug]

This isn't bizarre at all. I haven't done online dating but everyone I know who's tried it has experienced this at least once. No big deal, mate, just keep moving.

 

[ketostix]

Just ask "what would potato do?". Women never flake in his world.

Women online are mostly nuts. It doesn't make sense for her to ditch you when she saw you since I'm sure she's seen your pics on Match.

 

[StevenR]

I just looked at her profile again, and she put up two new pics that look totally different than the other ones she had on there. She is not ugly or anything in them, but has a different hairstyle and I would not have recognized her if I had seen her there.

 

[YoungSir4sho]

1.
Dont think she even showed up, she prolly was parkin sumwhere else at a diff location if that.

2. She prolly looks diff then wat pics she put up there. WHich means she is a fake

3. Dont worry about it n keep sargin. This happened to da best of us

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

Same thing happened to me, she is not special. HAd a date to meet for drinks and she called me to confirm the date 20 minutes before we were supposed to meet.

I get to the place and pull in the parking lot, she calls me again and says she can't make it because her sister locked the keys out of her house. Never heard from her again except for AIM and I stopped talking to her on that. I never ask a flake out twice.

1 out of 100 girls you talk to online will be worth the effort.

 

[actionjaxson]

she was either unimpressed by your looks (do your online pics look the same as you do in real life?) or she got nervous and didnt want to go through with meeting an online stranger.

 

[StevenR]

I never recall seeing anyone that looked like her(in her new pics) even show up there.