SELF-MASTERY
Banned
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2004
- Messages
- 1,971
- Reaction score
- 7
Bvbidd knows how to give good adviceBvbidd said:
When did this happen
:rock:
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Bitterness
- Thread starter knglerxt
- Start date
When did this happen
:rock:"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
knglerxt, i feel the same. I hang out with my male friends. Over the years, almost all of them have acquired GF's (many are also in LTR). I definitely feel that I'm the odd man out (I'm almost in my late 20s) when we hang out with my friends and their GF's and wives. There's a lot of frustration on my part. I'm also a not-so-talkative (and not so witty) guy. I work on campus and yeah, I see alot of beautiful women, and when I see couples holding hands I feel happy for them, but it hurts inside.
Alas, things don't look good...
Alas, things don't look good...
Delta
Master Don Juan
unfortunately, it sounds like you don't even know where to begin. that's fine... hey, i didn't lose it (or kiss a girl or went out on a proper date) until i was 29!!!
so ok, you need help. but that means it'll take a little while and a bit of research - meaning time. meaning self improvement, meaning learning how to socialize with people, meaning learning what women want.
this is an important lesson: it doesn't matter what you want, it only matters what you can GET HER TO WANT. you need to learn how to ATTRACT WOMEN.
start reading the dj bible now.
and start going to school and doing well NOW! you have an opportunity RIGHT NOW... not only to make yourself viable to women later in life but to put yourself in a position to have a good life.
DO NOT - DO NOT - let yourself forfeit your future because of this!!!
i know and understand bitterness. and don't let the unsympathetic guys (unfortunately, the alpha motto around here seems to preclude any possibility of empathy from most) here get you down. you are not the only one. hey, they even made a movie called the 40year old virgin right?
first thing to make yourself feel better - you're not alone!
second, there are things that you can do RIGHT NOW in order to address your issues:
a. seek help. if it's sabotaging your LIFE, that's big. as i said, you are young and have a chance to set yourself up for good things later on (think about it, you think BILL GATES was a ladies' man?!). you can also just TANK yourself. so save yourself while you can, while the window of opportunity for school is open. seek counseling... before you pick a therapist or counselor, tell them your problem (bitterness is SECONDARY, primary is your inability to socialize with women) and see if they are the ones who can help you. if they can help you get laid, GREAT. but the primary purpose for a counselor is to let you FUNCTION.
it doesn't matter that you can't afford it. you literally cannot afford not to at this point. and if you ask the first counselor you go to about cheap programs, they can probably help you find an extremely cheap one.
also, as a college student, you probably get insurance through your tuition... FIND OUT and get help now.
life is not sympathetic and the clock is ticking. if you don't get on the bus now, you're gonna be screwed so don't let it happen.
b. hire a call girl if you must! unlike the spirit in which the original advice was given, i say that for you, it might provide you the release that you need to think straight... straight enough to function and enable you to hone your game.
another option is to go through your counselor - there are "sex surrogates" and they are legal in many states... they basically have sex with people for whom sex is an issue... sexual issues like psych based impotence and yes, adult virginity.
god, i've considered this option... and you get the added benefit of not being liable to be busted as a john and less likely to acquire VD on your first time out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
you have options RIGHT NOW!!! that should also make you feel better.
there is no such thing as I CAN'T... there is only "HOW CAN I?"... your journey will probably start with therapy... but THAT IS THE FIRST STEP!
DO IT! DO IT RIGHT Fing NOW.
and good luck man. seriously. i feel ya. i'm not in a good place either brother and ain't gettin' any now. it's a balance between doing whatever you can to get what you want and also just being patient and calm when it's not here now. believe, me, when you say that you just can't turn it off, i truly understand. it seems so unfair and brutal that we are made sexual beings that are sexual as soon as we hit puberty and yet some of us are so woefully unprepared to satisfy this basic, legitimate NEED.
we'll work it out. now move your a$$ and do what you can. cuz you may feel bad now but if you mess up your life because of this, it'll be longer than for now. don't let it happen. i'm cheering you on. do it.
delta
so ok, you need help. but that means it'll take a little while and a bit of research - meaning time. meaning self improvement, meaning learning how to socialize with people, meaning learning what women want.
this is an important lesson: it doesn't matter what you want, it only matters what you can GET HER TO WANT. you need to learn how to ATTRACT WOMEN.
start reading the dj bible now.
and start going to school and doing well NOW! you have an opportunity RIGHT NOW... not only to make yourself viable to women later in life but to put yourself in a position to have a good life.
DO NOT - DO NOT - let yourself forfeit your future because of this!!!
i know and understand bitterness. and don't let the unsympathetic guys (unfortunately, the alpha motto around here seems to preclude any possibility of empathy from most) here get you down. you are not the only one. hey, they even made a movie called the 40year old virgin right?
first thing to make yourself feel better - you're not alone!
second, there are things that you can do RIGHT NOW in order to address your issues:
a. seek help. if it's sabotaging your LIFE, that's big. as i said, you are young and have a chance to set yourself up for good things later on (think about it, you think BILL GATES was a ladies' man?!). you can also just TANK yourself. so save yourself while you can, while the window of opportunity for school is open. seek counseling... before you pick a therapist or counselor, tell them your problem (bitterness is SECONDARY, primary is your inability to socialize with women) and see if they are the ones who can help you. if they can help you get laid, GREAT. but the primary purpose for a counselor is to let you FUNCTION.
it doesn't matter that you can't afford it. you literally cannot afford not to at this point. and if you ask the first counselor you go to about cheap programs, they can probably help you find an extremely cheap one.
also, as a college student, you probably get insurance through your tuition... FIND OUT and get help now.
life is not sympathetic and the clock is ticking. if you don't get on the bus now, you're gonna be screwed so don't let it happen.
b. hire a call girl if you must! unlike the spirit in which the original advice was given, i say that for you, it might provide you the release that you need to think straight... straight enough to function and enable you to hone your game.
another option is to go through your counselor - there are "sex surrogates" and they are legal in many states... they basically have sex with people for whom sex is an issue... sexual issues like psych based impotence and yes, adult virginity.
god, i've considered this option... and you get the added benefit of not being liable to be busted as a john and less likely to acquire VD on your first time out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
you have options RIGHT NOW!!! that should also make you feel better.
there is no such thing as I CAN'T... there is only "HOW CAN I?"... your journey will probably start with therapy... but THAT IS THE FIRST STEP!
DO IT! DO IT RIGHT Fing NOW.
and good luck man. seriously. i feel ya. i'm not in a good place either brother and ain't gettin' any now. it's a balance between doing whatever you can to get what you want and also just being patient and calm when it's not here now. believe, me, when you say that you just can't turn it off, i truly understand. it seems so unfair and brutal that we are made sexual beings that are sexual as soon as we hit puberty and yet some of us are so woefully unprepared to satisfy this basic, legitimate NEED.
we'll work it out. now move your a$$ and do what you can. cuz you may feel bad now but if you mess up your life because of this, it'll be longer than for now. don't let it happen. i'm cheering you on. do it.
delta
Delta
Master Don Juan
also for you younger guys with friends, it may be frustrating but they are a RESOURCE. keep them and utilize them.
it's tough for a loner.... "social proof" is pretty necessary. so maintaining friends and a proper social network is a TANGENTIAL endeavor but it is needed. so pay attention to such things.
delta
it's tough for a loner.... "social proof" is pretty necessary. so maintaining friends and a proper social network is a TANGENTIAL endeavor but it is needed. so pay attention to such things.
delta
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.