Bitter after divorce w/ kids, advice welcome..

[sodbuster]

You'll be fine, it does hurt when life rips societies bandaid {made of duct tape} off your eyes....... but now you KNOW and will work at life SEEING what is really there...

 

[sodbuster]

FORGOT to add, when she finds out that you have moved on emotionally AND have another woman in your life.... that will KILL her. Doesn't matter if she left you or not. I've slept with 2 women{they made the first move...as much as women will} who were torn up by their FORMER husbands {a} knocking up another woman, {b} re-married,or {c}Banged another woman who was a friend of theirs....

It's like they WANT you to sit around pining for them and are upset you moved on..... BUT for now, get the school under control....

 

[latinnova]

FORGOT to add, when she finds out that you have moved on emotionally AND have another woman in your life.... that will KILL her. Doesn't matter if she left you or not. I've slept with 2 women{they made the first move...as much as women will} who were torn up by their FORMER husbands {a} knocking up another woman, {b} re-married,or {c}Banged another woman who was a friend of theirs....

It's like they WANT you to sit around pining for them and are upset you moved on..... BUT for now, get the school under control....

Thanks for that tip. I have stopped all contact with her except for situations that have to do with the kids. I don't care if they are fvcking in the driveway the next time I go over there, I will just wave and wish them well.

 

[latinnova]

Believe me, there is not way in hell I would take her back, dead serious. I made it out of this divorce pretty clean and it's the last marriage I plan on being in. It really opened my eyes that men have no power in the marriage at all. I have a lot more time now to study, which is only helping me improve myself and my future prospects. I'm actually not actively pursuing woman right now, just preparing in case once just so happens to fall in my lap. Other then that my time is dedicated to my studies and becoming more of a beast at the gym, excellent stress relief.

 

[latinnova]

Whoa, OK I'm gonna say that I most definitely am going to stay bitter, but just at her.

So here is the story. She texts me today asking for the child support check in advance to help pay for something she needs because she doesn't think ahead. I say, OK I will give you the check when I get home from work because I don't have it with me. She states "No, I need it now!" And I reply by saying that she will just have to wait. She goes on to say that since she is not getting the check right now she will not let me have the kids for the weekend, even though it is my weekend with them. She is trying to use the kids as coercion. I replied by saying F*** it then, you won't get the check early, I will get the kids because it is my weekend and you will be in contempt of court and you can kiss my sweet arse. She replied by stating she will now have new boyfriend sitting outside every time I have to pick up and drop off the kids. I replied "Good, I can't wait to meet him". And somehow I am the prick, arsehole, and **** in this whole situation, even though I complied to give her the check early.

So all you dudes who might think of marrying the woman you love, well don't. They can completely change 180 degrees to the point where you don't even know them anymore. They might be awesome for years, but the minute they lose interest or get bored it's done. Also, they do not have any feelings or remorse, they are the coldest beings in this universe. And don't think "well, that is just him, my case will be completely different." because that is exactly what I used to think.

 

[user43770]

This is by far the toughest part of every breakup. Even though by this point I expect it I still get chills watching and experiencing it happen. The scariest part is that you know that you would never do that because the love you have for them is so much more tangible than the resources-based fraudulent scam they ran on you...and you question the entire relationship.

Women fall in love faster, but men fall harder. A woman's love is fickle - we've all experienced it at some point or another.

It takes so much work to stay dominant in a relationship over time - so many ups and downs, so many sh1t tests.

I often wonder what it would be like if they went ahead and legalized prostitution. They won't of course. It's like that video whodares posted in anything else: they need men to stay blue-pill so that they can support the system. Without us, the system collapses.

 

[The_411]

Women fall in love faster, but men fall harder. A woman's love is fickle - we've all experienced it at some point or another.

It takes so much work to stay dominant in a relationship over time - so many ups and downs, so many sh1t tests.

I often wonder what it would be like if they went ahead and legalized prostitution. They won't of course. It's like that video whodares posted in anything else: they need men to stay blue-pill so that they can support the system. Without us, the system collapses.

It's legal In certain parts of Nevada :rockon:

 

[jimjam]

I don't think I could add much to the good advice already posted here. I'll reiterate what was already offered.

My son's mother dumped me two months after she was pregnant. Tried to have me totally out of her life. She nailed me for as much support as the court would allow once she found out I wasn't abandoning my son. She's married to another dude now and they just had a kid together. It tears my heart out to collect my son and drop him off over there. But, remember this: Fvck her. She doesn't matter. however, NEVER speak ill of her or her man to anyone except maybe your parents. If you conduct yourself in the finest, most courteous manner possible, your kids will remember you as being of sound character and an excellent role model. And if she conducts herself in the same fashion, so much the better. Your kids do not need any animosity between the two of you. And they will remember this for the rest of their lives.

Hang in there, in a year this will all seem like nothing

 

[Albatross953]

Whoa, OK I'm gonna say that I most definitely am going to stay bitter, but just at her.

So here is the story. She texts me today asking for the child support check in advance to help pay for something she needs because she doesn't think ahead. I say, OK I will give you the check when I get home from work because I don't have it with me. She states "No, I need it now!" And I reply by saying that she will just have to wait. She goes on to say that since she is not getting the check right now she will not let me have the kids for the weekend, even though it is my weekend with them. She is trying to use the kids as coercion. I replied by saying F*** it then, you won't get the check early, I will get the kids because it is my weekend and you will be in contempt of court and you can kiss my sweet arse. She replied by stating she will now have new boyfriend sitting outside every time I have to pick up and drop off the kids. I replied "Good, I can't wait to meet him". And somehow I am the prick, arsehole, and **** in this whole situation, even though I complied to give her the check early.

So all you dudes who might think of marrying the woman you love, well don't. They can completely change 180 degrees to the point where you don't even know them anymore. They might be awesome for years, but the minute they lose interest or get bored it's done. Also, they do not have any feelings or remorse, they are the coldest beings in this universe. And don't think "well, that is just him, my case will be completely different." because that is exactly what I used to think.

Looks a lot like a **** test there. Go out of your way to help, then go even farther when you fail question one. If I was you, I'd be the most by the book ahole in the history of the world. And document everything. And when you meet the boyfriend, smile and say....nice to meet you.

Cool like James bond. That's what you should aim for.

 

[latinnova]

Thanks for the tips guys, all of you are most definitely a huge help. I shouldn't had gotten angry but I did because even after I tried to help I was still called an *******.

Ok, well the only way one is going to move forward is to learn from my mistakes, and lesson learned for sure. Damn, my father was right, it's hard to walk the fine line a true man must walk while getting blasted from all sides by things that will make you fail. I'm sticking to the divorce contract from now on so that she can not use the kids as manipulation, she is afraid to break the rules of the contract because of the consequences, so that's the game I have to play.

 

[sodbuster]

yes, I had 20K stashed in my office desk drawer when she filed, credit cards in my name coming to my office address, etc....

When you DO get out of school and starting to make serious cash, don't tell the kids.... they tell her, and your child support goes up.... at least HERE

 

[Tenacity]

latinnova,

I second everything brad said earlier in the thread. Make sure you have a quality lawyer to deal with the custody situation, child support, etc. Your kids are nearly out of grade school, 4-5 years they are done, so it's not like you will have a ton of years of child support left.

brad was totally correct, you AREN'T getting the bad side of this deal, the new guy she's running to is. The woman is older and her looks are going to fade further as she gets older. YOU on the other hand are about to get more attractive if you play this right, as your income increases from the college completion, your free time increases which allows you to work on your looks/workout, and you can go out and attract women that are years younger than you due to your status in life.

Myself, I'm not going to get married and I'm still debating creating children. Marriage today just makes no sense to me because the divorce laws are foolish and based on pre-women's liberation regulation. There's absolutely no justification in paying an ADULT monthly income for the rest of her life as if she doesn't have the ability to go out and create an income. The mainstream society talks a lot about the concept of a "soul mate" or "the one" as if you OWN the woman in some capacity. The truth of the matter is that she can love you on Monday and hate you by Friday, for no reason. Every relationship that you have with a woman is nothing but a RENTAL agreement, not ownership.

Children are another thing, you will ALWAYS be their Father, that's yours to OWN. Your kids can't divorce you, leave you, or anything of the sort, that's a relationship that you own forever and that's the ONLY focus at this point that you want to focus on. The moment you start to see anything out of line with those kids and your ex wife's new boyfriend you want to do what you can to report it, etc.

 

[Alvafe]

Thanks for the tips guys, all of you are most definitely a huge help. I shouldn't had gotten angry but I did because even after I tried to help I was still called an *******.

Ok, well the only way one is going to move forward is to learn from my mistakes, and lesson learned for sure. Damn, my father was right, it's hard to walk the fine line a true man must walk while getting blasted from all sides by things that will make you fail. I'm sticking to the divorce contract from now on so that she can not use the kids as manipulation, she is afraid to break the rules of the contract because of the consequences, so that's the game I have to play.

serious I just hope its was msgs, you saved then and then ask for a lawyer about what you can do with it, first the child support is for your children not her, second like she said she have a new BF(so the old "love" already bail?) and never give the check before