Bipolar Girl Part 2

[Disco]

To say the past 3 months of my dating life has been a rollercoaster would be an understatement. Everyday, up and down...push an pull...want to be with you, can't stand you, etc. Well last weekend a week ago we came home from a day trip, the week was about to start so she made plans on coming to pick me up at 10 so her and i could get some quality time together. The time rolls around and she finally called, calling to let me know that she no longer had time for me in her life. I let it go, on Wednesday I sent her an email to see how she was doing and to let her know I was around...pretty simple. Friday rolls around, still no word and then she called.

As we started our conversation she says to me "i don't want you to call me, text me or email me ever again. i have never trusted you and i have never felt comfortable with you. everything that you have said to me was a lie, even about us doing art together...you know you have no plans on me working with you (i'm a decent artist in a music scene where i live, sometimes playing shows for 8000 people). I didn't argue with her b/c I was really taken back by some of her words. I think the most hurful thing that got me was her saying "i hope you have a great life and good luck to you in everything you try". That was so weird to me b/c we were doing fine and then BAM it's like crazy came all the way out. I haven't tried to contact her nor will I, can someone just explain to me where the anger came from and how much of it she probably really meant? I mean we had some good times up until this and I don't want this to be what's left.

 

[Disco]

And oh, i know by no means not to hang onto this one. Another thing she said was "you think too much of this relationship" when in fact I never said a lot about it. She would hold my face, stare into my eyes and say things like "i want this to be it for the next few years". She would say things like that all of the time and make future plans for us. In a way I feel almost gamed b/c it seemed she could say all the things that a guy would want to hear. Does that make sense? This is of course my first and hopefully last BP girl...I don't know who someone can do this for years. Can someone explain the highs and the lows and where the angry words come from? She's had some spells, but none like this....I've never heard those kinds of things come out of her mouth...almost makes me want to puke.

 

[SunnyD]

I'm like this, and I wish I could explain it. I can finally admit, after reading a lot here..that I have a problem and that I am probably bipolar. That or the side effects of birth control turned me into someone I don't even recognize anymore. I'm working on it now.

Anyway, to answer your question..because I have pushed people away with this same exact behaviour...is that no, she doesnt really mean any of it. Any little thing can set her off..but it is likely stemming from a greater problem...maybe to do with you, maybe not. It can be anything. I do this, wake up the next morning and wonder "what the hell did I get so mad about??? Why did I say that??" I dont know where it comes from, one day I'm good, the next day I'm not. It sucks. I know you guys bash bipolar chics on here all the time, and no doubt we are impossible to deal with and better left alone...but until you go through it yourself..you will never understand how it feels.

Don't try and figure her out. Best thing to do is leave her alone until she realizes she has a problem, pushed important people out of her life, and does something to work on herself.

Sorry you are going through this.

 

[hanson]

See man i was on the opposite side of this situtation. Me and ex were having problems we just couldn't get over, and we could conintued for years like that because we cared for eachother so much. But i looked forward and realized a future with her would just be to painful. So i let her know i was never going to talk to her again. She probably wants to be with you still, but knows it can't work out.

 

[COD]

OH BY THE WAY.........DATING SOMEONE BI-POLAR IS NOT A THREESOME!!....regardless of what the other two personalities say

 

[DJDamage]

I know you guys bash bipolar chics on here all the time, and no doubt we are impossible to deal with and better left alone...but until you go through it yourself..you will never understand how it feels.

We bash bipolar chicks because it is unhealthy to be in a relationship with one. It doesn't matter if we don't understand what's it like to be in one's shoes. Although I have sympathy for bipolar chicks (having dating one), I do not recommand dating one because it will take a toll on one's life.

Often what happens is that the boyfriend becomes her therapist (he is there to solve her irrational problems, a shoulder to cry on and he often has to compromise his needs and his integrity for hers because she is ill).

As result when that happens a woman with bipolar cannot fully apperciate his commitment to her and will end up losing interest in him because he stopped being a challange and was way too available. This is the catch 22 situation in which one cannot win.

I do believe that the reason she lashed out against the OP was because she began to associate his presence with her depression. He was there for her throughout her bad times, so therefore she began to remember him as an undesirable indvidual who also stopped being a challange and was way to available for her.

I think her dumping him was the best thing for both parties. Can you imagine if she was really into him and he stopped feeling attracted to her?? she might have slit her wrists and be dead and this would have stayed with the OP for the rest of his life.

Whatever you do, if she calls you back and says she is sorry DO NOT ACCEPT HER APPOLOGY AND GO BACK TO HER. She is using you like an emotional tampon and the whole thing will play itself out again until she finds someone new to latch on.

 

[brian123]

Take it from my experience man. Run away. I dated a girl that had many of the signs, but wasn't diagnosed with bipolar until very late in our relationship. I was months away from marrying her.

No matter how they act today, or what they say, they can change their mind in a heartbeat. If you want a life of constant change and uncertainty, then stay with this girl.

 

[KontrollerX]

"up and down...push an pull...want to be with you, can't stand you, etc."

"I hate you don't leave me" is the title of a popular book on Borderline Personality Disorder.

Most of the people who come here thinking they've been with a bipolar girl have actually been with a BPD ie Borderline Personality Disordered girl.

My aunt actually does have Bipolar disorder and what it makes its sufferers do is talk really fast and go into depressive episodes and strange behavior.

It generally doesn't turn them into professional crazy making manipulating pathological liars which BPD does along with making the girl love a person more than anything one minute and hating them the next.

Bipolar disorder is basically a disorder of mood swings and can be diagnosed in addition to Borderline Personality Disorder but yeah if you have been dealing with a highly addictive mistrustful manipulative lying individual that hates you one minute and loves you the next or outright discards you for some random guy like you never existed you've likely been dealing with a Borderline and not merely a Bipolar.

"can someone just explain to me where the anger came from"

Read some of Bible Belt's posts about his BPD experiences.

BPD's regularly rage and not only go into incredible tantrums of viscious screaming anger with it but also say incredibly disgusting cruel things to their partners at the worst possible time for their partner that are entirely uncalled for but the warped distorted world view of the disorder makes them come to illogical conclusions that make them say the things that they do.

Where the anger comes from is childhood abandonment in some form either by a parent outright leaving them, someone close to them dying or a kind of negligence of the emotional variety during the raising of the BPD girl.

Here's an excerpt from your first post about this that absolutely confirms Borderline Personality Disorder to me...

"This girl was adopted at 4 after her parents killed themselves. I know right now she is happy with me but wants me to abandoned her."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9ZNYteW3ng

Here's a video all about the condition for you to watch.

 

[decades]

this is not bipolar. KontrollerX splains things for yahhh up there....

 

[ElStud]

Who cares man? Forget this girl and just find another one. Unless you really do enjoy what she's doing to you.