Biggest Bonehead Mistake

[Disco]

I made a huge mistake with this girl that I hardly know, I've talked to her a few times. Anyway no first date and I suggested that we go hiking one Saturday since she told me that she loves the outdoors and taking pictures. You know it didn't even dawn on me that that may make me appear as a psycho or anything. I wonder why I didn't think of it like that. So now she went cold and I haven't heard from her since discussing it a few days ago.

I know that I am not needy, I'm not a psycho at all. I'm actually really fun to be around and pretty sure of myself. I just screwed up really good and it's kind of funny. I'm not going to contact her though, even though I may need to apologize for suggesting such an outing.

 

[thissucks003]

I have a question before posting an answer. When you asked her out to the outdoor outing, how much time did you converse, was she attracted to you, was she giving you any indicators of interest?


TS

 

[Disco]

Totally high intrest. I say this b/c if I called her up and she wasn't around her phone she'd call me back within the hour. Also she has pretty much given me her life story over the phone. The IL was pretty high I thought.

 

[thissucks003]

It sounds to me that she views you more as a friend than as somebody she would date. You talked to her a couple times and now all of a sudden you ask her out. Most guys would have asked her out when first meeting her. You maybe waited too long to set the frame that you are interested. I have done this many times, trying to be a friend first. But this doesn't work. Set the frame early on by being a sexual person so she doesn't categorize you in the friend zone.

I don't think that the idea of your date made her feel uncomfortable, I think it is more that you now are interested and that is why she freaked out.

This is still winnable. If you see her again, reattract her as a different person. Don't go over stuff you talked about already. Act as if anything that you talked about before didn't happen. Start new material on her and dress differently that she hasn't seen you dress before. You want to give her the idea that you are not the same person she view you as before. You don't want her to see you as the friend, but as a person she wants to hook up with.


TS

 

[Ebach]

If she viewed you as a friend she'd take that question much easier. Obviously, you haven't built enough rapport with her yet and you're still a stranger to her.

 

[OpenMind]

Since when does asking a girl to go hiking make one a psycho? You are analyzing this way too much. She didn't go with you because she either couldn't go or just has low interest in you. If she thought you were a psycho she wouldn't have told you her life story on the phone.....

 

[disciple]

I can tell you one thing for sure. I'm about 99% positive this girl views you as a friend and I'll tell you why. Because, when a girl meets a guy she puts him into one of two categories immediately,
the friend or the lover. If you are interested in a girl, you have to come off as a lover type from the first moment she lays eyes on you. Your body language, clothes, how you carry yourself, says even more than what you say once you open your mouth. Guys who girls go home and get wet in the panties over are generally not the guys that will sit on the phone and listen to some chick's problems and bullsh*t all day. That's for a friend, not a lover. If she wants a lover, she wants someone who excites all of her senses: her eyes (how you dress and look), her ears (the words you use, the tone, the very sound of your voice), her nose (how you smell), touch (how you feel, the warmth and manly strength of your body touching hers), and her sense of taste (yes, she wants to know how you taste, I'll leave that one for you to think about). But don't forget the most important sense of all: the mind. Nothing makes a woman more aroused than a man that gets her imagination going because of his charm, charisma, mystique, and because he is a challenge. My suggestion would be to cut your losses with this one and keep fishin. You just learned a lesson that will make your game that much tighter the next time around. Good luck.

 

[Disco]

OK, I wasn't completely honest with you guys out of embarrassement. I normally do well with girls, I've slept with 62 to be exact. I met this chick on line one day over a month ago. We swapped pictures, had a couple of im's. I then got her home number and called her up. We talked a couple of times pretty solid. I made her laugh, kept my usual ****y tone...but wasn't like an AFC.

For example, I called her the other night and she doesn't answer. She called back and was willing to talk to me in her sleep. The other times that she's called have been while lying in bed, which I took as good. So I got tired of wasting time on the phone and just plain out tried to get her to come to visit and we'd do somethin fun. My guess is that she was just looking for someone to boost her ego, but when it came time to get real she backed out.