I found this on another forum:
"This is kind of funny, considering i almost never take help from others.
But this time i'm willing to, and i want to hear of other peoples opinion.
Now i guess i should explain the case first.
My girlfriend and i have been together for a bit more than 3 months now.
She is still friends with her ex, infact, most of her friends are friends with him too.
She lives with 2 other friends, a guy and a girl.
And her ex keeps visiting the house.
Before they broke up they had been together for 1 year and 6 months.
My girlfriend said, or rather her roomie said it took her a long time to get over him.
And yesterday my girlfriend didn't feel well, because her ex was visiting, but he was with her female roomie, and she felt like she was a 3rd wheel, and said that she got jealouse at the thought of him being with someone else.
I don't know if she expressed herself wrong and meant that she didn't like him being with her roomie, cause i can understand, that that would be weird.
But to say that she is JEALOUSE of the thought him being with someone else? = /
She says it's "not like that" and that she's over him, and if she wasn't she wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with me, and on top of that he still owes her around 800$
And i've heard he hasn't been that nice to her now and then in their relationship.
But it's still messing with my head.
How can she love me and be in a relationship with me, but get jealouse over him being with someone else?
I talked with her, and i want to believe her, but i just can't shake the feeling. Whenever i think of her talking to him, or if they do something random ( like if we're several people and she goes with him to buy food to everyone) that she's doing it to be with him.
I feel like i'm...i dunno, just someone she got together with so she can forget her ex or someone to make the time pass with or something, which she says isn't the case.
It's really eating away at me, and i don't want to talk to much more about this with her cause i don't want to create problems that could ruin our relationship.
Is that behavior normal for girls?
One of my friends said it's actually a normal thing, but it'adfljk'sdfp urgh D=
I'm trying to tell myself it's a lot more complex than it seems and sometimes rational thinking can't help, but on the otherhand it also feels like i'm trying to lie to myself so i can trust her and not worry. I mean, in my eyes, fact is, if she can get jealouse over the thought of him being with someone else, it meanms she has some sort of feelings for her.
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Disregard her and move on, there are still too many emotions involved and jealousy is never a good thing. She wasn't ready for a relationship, still has feelings for him and isn't prepared to move on just yet. Don't end up being the rebound guy, take the initiative and tell her that you don't think it's healthy for you to both keep on seeing each other.
You are right to have a gut instinct and feel like something is wrong in this scenario, listen to your instincts and follow through with them. She wasn't ready for a relationship, still has feelings for him and isn't prepared to move on just yet. If there isn't any trust in the relationship at this stage, it doesn't have much chance of lasting long term without discomfort and pain, I'm not being cynical, I'm just trying to be realistic. You need to break it off with her and find someone who understands that it is important for you to feel a sense of security and trust which she clearly doesn't appreciate or respect."
"Yeaaah no not happening.
You make it sound like i'm gonna get into a relationship right after i break up with her.
No.
I rarely fall in love and like someone.
And lastly, i should also add that there was another girl her ex was interested in, and there, she didn't care.
She simply might for formulated herself in a wrong way.
I mean how'd you have it if your ex all of a sudden dated your best friend, or someone you live with.
Some would not care, others would find it highly unpleasant.
@PTSmorrow
Well we did talk, and she felt bad that i was worrying so much.
She said there is nothing to it, and that she knows that it's wrongly said of her from my point of view.
And as i said above, she might simply have expressed herself in a wrong way that lead to a misunderstanding.
Some might say it's just to cover up and what not."
--------
I sent him a message telling him that he'll never mean as much to her as the ex, and she's likely dating/sleeping with the ex already behind his back anyway. Haven't got a response back, should be interesting. Dude is early 20s too, so he isn't some high schooler.
"This is kind of funny, considering i almost never take help from others.
But this time i'm willing to, and i want to hear of other peoples opinion.
Now i guess i should explain the case first.
My girlfriend and i have been together for a bit more than 3 months now.
She is still friends with her ex, infact, most of her friends are friends with him too.
She lives with 2 other friends, a guy and a girl.
And her ex keeps visiting the house.
Before they broke up they had been together for 1 year and 6 months.
My girlfriend said, or rather her roomie said it took her a long time to get over him.
And yesterday my girlfriend didn't feel well, because her ex was visiting, but he was with her female roomie, and she felt like she was a 3rd wheel, and said that she got jealouse at the thought of him being with someone else.
I don't know if she expressed herself wrong and meant that she didn't like him being with her roomie, cause i can understand, that that would be weird.
But to say that she is JEALOUSE of the thought him being with someone else? = /
She says it's "not like that" and that she's over him, and if she wasn't she wouldn't have gotten into a relationship with me, and on top of that he still owes her around 800$
And i've heard he hasn't been that nice to her now and then in their relationship.
But it's still messing with my head.
How can she love me and be in a relationship with me, but get jealouse over him being with someone else?
I talked with her, and i want to believe her, but i just can't shake the feeling. Whenever i think of her talking to him, or if they do something random ( like if we're several people and she goes with him to buy food to everyone) that she's doing it to be with him.
I feel like i'm...i dunno, just someone she got together with so she can forget her ex or someone to make the time pass with or something, which she says isn't the case.
It's really eating away at me, and i don't want to talk to much more about this with her cause i don't want to create problems that could ruin our relationship.
Is that behavior normal for girls?
One of my friends said it's actually a normal thing, but it'adfljk'sdfp urgh D=
I'm trying to tell myself it's a lot more complex than it seems and sometimes rational thinking can't help, but on the otherhand it also feels like i'm trying to lie to myself so i can trust her and not worry. I mean, in my eyes, fact is, if she can get jealouse over the thought of him being with someone else, it meanms she has some sort of feelings for her.
Back to top
"
"Reply with quote
Disregard her and move on, there are still too many emotions involved and jealousy is never a good thing. She wasn't ready for a relationship, still has feelings for him and isn't prepared to move on just yet. Don't end up being the rebound guy, take the initiative and tell her that you don't think it's healthy for you to both keep on seeing each other.
You are right to have a gut instinct and feel like something is wrong in this scenario, listen to your instincts and follow through with them. She wasn't ready for a relationship, still has feelings for him and isn't prepared to move on just yet. If there isn't any trust in the relationship at this stage, it doesn't have much chance of lasting long term without discomfort and pain, I'm not being cynical, I'm just trying to be realistic. You need to break it off with her and find someone who understands that it is important for you to feel a sense of security and trust which she clearly doesn't appreciate or respect."
"Yeaaah no not happening.
You make it sound like i'm gonna get into a relationship right after i break up with her.
No.
I rarely fall in love and like someone.
And lastly, i should also add that there was another girl her ex was interested in, and there, she didn't care.
She simply might for formulated herself in a wrong way.
I mean how'd you have it if your ex all of a sudden dated your best friend, or someone you live with.
Some would not care, others would find it highly unpleasant.
@PTSmorrow
Well we did talk, and she felt bad that i was worrying so much.
She said there is nothing to it, and that she knows that it's wrongly said of her from my point of view.
And as i said above, she might simply have expressed herself in a wrong way that lead to a misunderstanding.
Some might say it's just to cover up and what not."
--------
I sent him a message telling him that he'll never mean as much to her as the ex, and she's likely dating/sleeping with the ex already behind his back anyway. Haven't got a response back, should be interesting. Dude is early 20s too, so he isn't some high schooler.