Big girl problem, and I'm completely lost

[B Man]

This might be the wrong spot for this, if so, I'm sorry.
Basically, I'm stuck between a rock and a really sharp hard place with this girl and I have no clue what to do, which is ironic becuase all my friends come to me for girl troubles and things usually go pretty damn solid for them using my advice, but I can't help myself for some reason for this one. I'm still in high school, get my license in 2 weeks, turning 16 tomorrow, life is good, confusing as ****, but that's life right?

I really like this girl, but there’s obviously more to it than that.

But here we go:



We had been planning for a while and I thought we were joking about going to Howl-o-scream(some of you may be familiar with this at Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida throughout the month of October), but we actually did end up going.

I invited a bunch of people to go, but everyone except me and her bailed. I was surprised she wanted to go since her best friend couldn't go with us. But she said she really wanted to go.

So I go by her place before we leave to pick her up, say hi to the parentals and everything, and before we get in the car she just randomly gives me one of her cheer leading pictures (like the good schools get professionally taken) that she said she wanted me to keep (it's currently in my wallet) and on the way up which is about a 2 hour drive we're being very flirty as always and what not; my parents drop us off and away we go.

We get inside get our picture taken, start to off through the first place to get to the next section of the park and before we get to the sign she grabs my hand (we start cupped) which was a very pleasant surprise. She says she's scared and right then I get a phone call from a friend who says he's there so we wait for them, and walk around still holding hands for a while. meet up with my friend and his brother.

Basically, we end up holding hands almost the whole time, half way through the night we literally came about this close | | to kissing, noses were touching, but I pulled away for some stupid ass reason X[
She then makes the transition to laced hand holding after that (and apparently laced and cupped is a huge difference now) through all the haunted houses she had her arms under my arms and around my chest holding hands with me. She started the night saying she was never coming back, but by the end of the night was complaining we went on the last day.

We then leave the park, get home around 2 in the morning, say good bye hug, I go home and sleep. We talk a bit the next day. Today comes around and my friend I met up with at the park told a few people that he didn't know I had a girlfriend. And this is where some problems come up.

and this all happened in the past weekend btw.

Apparently her best friend told me she likes another guy(I found proof myself without having to ask). Should I treat her any different, even though I know she likes someone else, but she's liked him for quite some time apparently? After that night at the park, I thought it was in the bag, but she’s interested in another dude. How do I go about getting her mind off this other guy?

and this all happened in the past weekend btw.

Help/advice/opinion/insight is all greatly appreciated.

 

[Igetit!]

First of all,welcome to the forum,and second,Happy birthday.

Alright let's get down to business. First,how long have you known this girl?
Also,how often do the two of you talk and hang out together?
Next,when the two of you talk,what do you talk about?

Try to answer these questions as accurately as possible.
This will help to determine what course of action you need to take.

 

[B Man]

First of all,welcome to the forum,and second,Happy birthday.


First,how long have you known this girl?


Also,how often do the two of you talk and hang out together?


Next,when the two of you talk,what do you talk about?

Thank you very much


1. A little over a year now

2. -I've in this past year gotten to know her pretty well(to the point of being considered best friends) but this it's not like we talk a lot, but even now we text each other a decent amount during the week, we don't talk on the phone, don't exchange secrets and what not, we don't really do stuff best friend's do(which is one of the reasons why I have no clue where I actually stand). We hang out a quite a bit outside of school though, at different sporting events, each others houses, just stuff life that, usually at least once a week.

3. Different stuff, mostly random now that I think about it, each other, how we should hang out more, school every now and then, we'll jokingly argue over random stuff, it's basically just a bunch of really long flirty conversations. Cheer leading is a recurring theme though(she is one).

 

[Igetit!]

Thank you very much


1. A little over a year now

2. -I've in this past year gotten to know her pretty well to the point of being considered best friends but this it's not like we talk a lot, but even now we text each other a decent amount during the week, we don't talk on the phone, don't exchange secrets and what not, we don't really do stuff best friend's do(which is one of the reasons why I have no clue where I actually stand). We hang out a quite a bit outside of school though, at different sporting events, each others houses, just stuff life that, usually at least once a week.

3. Different stuff, mostly random now that I think about it, each other, how we should hang out more, school every now and then, we'll jokingly argue over random stuff, it's basically just a bunch of really long flirty conversations. Cheer leading is a recurring theme though(she is one).

Oh boy. I hate to say this,but it looks to me like you're either in or dangerously close to the friendzone. The longer you've known a girl without dating her,then higher the chances are that you're in her friendzone. The problem is that for the entire time you've known her ( one year),you've been not dating,which to girls is the same thing as being friends. The part that I underlined in your response about the two of you being considered "best friends" told it all. That one sentence was all I needed to read. With women you have to choose. Are you going to date her,or a you going to be her friend. And you have to make this decision basically as soon as you meet her. If you don't,the decision will automatically be made for you.

However,there are some things you can do to possibly win her over.
First,you can just simply ask her out. You'll get your answer as soon as possible without going another year wanting to date her,but being too afraid to approach her. The first mistake you made was waiting a year before trying to date her. Another mistake was when the two of you were about to kiss,then you pulled back. She probably felt rejected,then when another guy came along,she decided to go for him.

The most common piece of advice given for this situation is to simply ignore her,and focus your attention on other girls. When she sees this,she'll get jealous,then she'll try to get your attention back.

You can try either of these two,but looking at what you said about the two of you being considered "best friends",more than likely,it's probably already over.

 

[B Man]

Oh boy. I hate to say this,but it looks to me like you're either in or dangerously close to the friendzone. The longer you've known a girl without dating her,then higher the chances are that you're in her friendzone. The problem is that for the entire time you've known her ( one year),you've been not dating,which to girls is the same thing as being friends. The part that I underlined in your response about the two of you being considered "best friends" told it all. That one sentence was all I needed to read. With women you have to choose. Are you going to date her,or a you going to be her friend. And you have to make this decision basically as soon as you meet her. If you don't,the decision will automatically be made for you.

However,there are some things you can do to possibly win her over.
First,you can just simply ask her out. You'll get your answer as soon as possible without going another year wanting to date her,but being too afraid to approach her. The first mistake you made was waiting a year before trying to date her. Another mistake was when the two of you were about to kiss,then you pulled back. She probably felt rejected,then when another guy came along,she decided to go for him.

The most common piece of advice given for this situation is to simply ignore her,and focus your attention on other girls. When she sees this,she'll get jealous,then she'll try to get your attention back.

You can try either of these two,but looking at what you said about the two of you being considered "best friends",more than likely,it's probably already over.

I was afraid of that :/

Thank you very much though, I really appreciate the help.


I'm not sure where I'm going to go with this, but I think this is going to help a lot.

 

[DJDamage]

Apparently her best friend told me she likes another guy(I found proof myself without having to ask)

A) Never listen to your target friends if they aren't there to help you and this one is not helping you but putting some sh1t in your head that you don't need hear. Ignore her friend all together. You know you can like more then just 1 person right?! I mean I am sure that you probably like other girls in your school who happen to be hotter then your girl but you picked your girl.

B) You were a little bit too chummy at the park. This girl obviously likes you so I don't know if your "teddy bear" like behaviour in the park may have turned her off slightly. Your best bet is to ask her to a movie or something (with no friends and no distraction) and start working your way in there.

 

[Canadianpimpology]

DJ Damage is accurate. You had her at the theme park. Just from your post, she had a lot of interest when you guys were there.

-She gives you one of her pictures (not a big deal, but it's her showing interest).
-Grabbing your hand first.
-Hanging on to you the whole time and being close to you.
etc.

I wouldn't worry about her liking that other guy, especially if it's been for quite some time. High school chicks aren't the way they say they are ("I like Bill and only Bill, no room for anyone else"). Even further, it's coming from her friend. We have a natural tendency to turn to girls' friends to get to the girl. I'm pretty sure every guy has done it in the past, but it is a very dumb move since you bring in a bunch potential problems like jealousy, loyalty questions, and coming off as a wuss since you need to rely on her friend to get to the chick. Like Damage said, just ignore her friend completely.

Your two main worries are
1) You turned her off at the theme park by not making a move. Either she saw it as a challenge to get to you which is why she was making the moves, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. She might have been turned off by it though. She's a cheerleader, I'm sure she has little trouble having aggressive, alpha guys trying to get with her.
2) You've already been friend zoned. I wouldn't be too worried about this since she was this flirty with you so recently and you also said that you've been always flirty with her, so she never completely wrote you off. Just make sure you don't start treating her as your friend.

Overall though, you seem in pretty good shape, and I would ask her out to the mall or movies soon. Just be aware to not come off as desperate, definitely keep talking to other chicks and don't hang out with her too much at school.

And happy birthday!

 

[B Man]

A) Never listen to your target friends if they aren't there to help you and this one is not helping you but putting some sh1t in your head that you don't need hear. Ignore her friend all together. You know you can like more then just 1 person right?! I mean I am sure that you probably like other girls in your school who happen to be hotter then your girl but you picked your girl.

B) You were a little bit too chummy at the park. This girl obviously likes you so I don't know if your "teddy bear" like behaviour in the park may have turned her off slightly. Your best bet is to ask her to a movie or something (with no friends and no distraction) and start working your way in there.

A.) Keep that in mind I will; true that. Actually, wow that makes me feel a lot better, thanks

B.) Chummy...great. Yeah, I think I dropped the ball on that one. I'll keep that in mind.


Thanks for the help

 

[B Man]

A.) Keep that in mind I will; true that. Actually, wow that makes me feel a lot better, thanks

B.) Chummy...great. Yeah, I think I dropped the ball on that one. I'll keep that in mind.


Thanks for the help

DJ Damage is accurate. You had her at the theme park. Just from your post, she had a lot of interest when you guys were there.

-She gives you one of her pictures (not a big deal, but it's her showing interest).
-Grabbing your hand first.
-Hanging on to you the whole time and being close to you.
etc.

I wouldn't worry about her liking that other guy, especially if it's been for quite some time. High school chicks aren't the way they say they are ("I like Bill and only Bill, no room for anyone else"). Even further, it's coming from her friend. We have a natural tendency to turn to girls' friends to get to the girl. I'm pretty sure every guy has done it in the past, but it is a very dumb move since you bring in a bunch potential problems like jealousy, loyalty questions, and coming off as a wuss since you need to rely on her friend to get to the chick. Like Damage said, just ignore her friend completely.

Your two main worries are
1) You turned her off at the theme park by not making a move. Either she saw it as a challenge to get to you which is why she was making the moves, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. She might have been turned off by it though. She's a cheerleader, I'm sure she has little trouble having aggressive, alpha guys trying to get with her.
2) You've already been friend zoned. I wouldn't be too worried about this since she was this flirty with you so recently and you also said that you've been always flirty with her, so she never completely wrote you off. Just make sure you don't start treating her as your friend.

Overall though, you seem in pretty good shape, and I would ask her out to the mall or movies soon. Just be aware to not come off as desperate, definitely keep talking to other chicks and don't hang out with her too much at school.

And happy birthday!

I'm not gonna lie

You guys are awesome, you have no clue how much this helps my situation.





edit: damn, sorry about the double post.