"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Big emergency...

Fortunate_Juan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
232
Reaction score
1
Location
Earth
So first of all, let me go over some things

The past 2 months has been a crazy time for me…

My best friend shot himself may 18th I went out got really drunk the next night ended up kissing 2 girls. One of the girls told me she was taking me home. I’ve known her for awhile (since freshman year of Highschool) it was a good thing because I was looking for a fight. Anyways we ended up staying in a hotel bed together, we didn’t end up having sex because she’s a good friend and it’s a complicated situation. But we had just been hanging out together more before my friend decided to do something really stupid. After he did that, we ended up hanging out more. Now we have slept (no sex) together on multiple occasions (I know bad move on a Dj part but like I said it’s complicated).

I went down south (live in alaska) to visit my grandparents over the weekend. I was a little hard to get a hold of. I called while drunk a few times (it was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary so it was a celebration I don’t normally go out every weekend and get fit shaced) I called her on the day I was returning and she offered me a ride from the airport when I landed. She admitted she missed me and that it took me going down south to realize that she was having feelings for me ( I had a feeling she was interested in me because of indicators of interest) I helped her move in to her new apartment on Monday and we flirted all day long. She bought me pizza and we ended up watching a movie then going out. We had a few drinks then went back to her place, at this point she admitted to me that she liked me as more than a friend (this was Monday night/Tuesday morning) and I admitted to her that l liked her as more than a friend. And so I told her my views on dating which happen to be: Dating is a trial run; it is no indicator that you aren’t a good person. I was being nonchalant about it and seeing what happened. I told her that I was going to bed (we are in the same bed at this point) because she said she didn’t want to have sex (I wanted to, but didn’t make it apparent because desperation never works) when she found out I was falling asleep she climbed over to me and leaned in for a kiss and we started kissing passionately. Then she stopped and I let her because I hadn’t showered, brushed my teeth (since morning) and I had been moving and sweating all day. Then Tuesday I didn’t call her because I didn’t want to seem desperate and honestly because I was freaking tired and busy as hell. Then we decided to hang out on weds (last night) and we went out and sang karaoke and we flirted a bit. Then we went to her house, she “had the talk” with me about how she isn’t sure about this, (mainly an ex-boyfriend problem she has had and I’ve known about since we started hanging out again more.) and she’s “not sure if she wants to be dating right now” (im not sure if I want to be dating either). Anyways we had a talk flirted some more in bed, she leaned over started making out with me, then stopped said she didn’t want to have sex. At this point we talked more and I leaned over and started foreplay (biting the neck, earlobes chest while squeezing her breast) she was definitely in the mood I could hear her heart beat. I tried to slide a hand up her shirt and she stopped me. So I backed off and downgraded back to what I had been doing. Tried to do it again a lil later. And was stopped again. I went to bed shortly after that but I am pretty pissed off right now.

I would like some insight, or a second opinion I guess. On what I can do to still turn this in to a relationship, because she did say that it doesn’t mean we aren’t ever going to go out, but she says she isn’t ready yet. Her body says yes, but her mind says no or is unsure. Please help.

I apologize for the long post, but I tried to keep everything in it pertinent. I really need help/advice badly.

Thanks.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

xblitz44x

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2002
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
13
Age
46
Fortunate_Juan said:
Then we went to her house, she “had the talk” with me about how she isn’t sure about this, (mainly an ex-boyfriend problem she has had and I’ve known about since we started hanging out again more.) and she’s “not sure if she wants to be dating right now” .
Give her what she wants; space. Don't be spiteful or mean or pissed off about it. Just let her do what she wants to do. She's made her intentions clear that she doesn't want to date, but if you play your cards right you may be able to screw around. Now if you could handle that is another issue...

Like I said, back up off of her and tell her you respect that and it's cool with you because you've got a lot going on as well. You'll run into her again and when she's seen that you're not suffocating she might be in for a little casual fun until she makes up her mind.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,681
Reaction score
4,878
Start talking about your female friends (even if they're not real). Create some social proof to let her know she's in competition with other women. Invite her out somewhere and bring along a female friend.

I hope to hell you actually ARE spinning other plates while working on this woman.
 

Fortunate_Juan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
232
Reaction score
1
Location
Earth
It's nice to hear that my plans are backed up by you guys. I was planning on not ignoring her but not spending as much time with her. I do have other plates going, with new ones on the way. So basically I'm just going to play the field although I did tell her that last night since we arent in a "relationship" by the time she figures out if she wants me or not, it may be too late because I am going to continue to date. GOOD LORD THOUGH TALK ABOUT SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED!!!!

If it wasnt for girls being so damned hot I would become a monk.
 

Big Eee Zee

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 14, 2005
Messages
584
Reaction score
1
Age
39
Location
sweetville
lay off the ladies and get your life in order.

losing a friend like that knocks you off balance, even if you think it doesnt.

and the fact that your drinking and gaming so soon after (one day) indicates your life is in fact NOT in order.

so i'd advise stoping and thinking for a bit.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

Read more...

Fortunate_Juan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2005
Messages
232
Reaction score
1
Location
Earth
Thanks

I will be examining things a bit differently now. Thank you for your point of view.
 

WC2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 29, 2006
Messages
1,700
Reaction score
69
Location
New York City
Ha big emergency? Here's my first and only piece of advice to you- girls should never be an emergency to you. end of story.
 
Top